his colleagues at the table and slam the glass of champagne that’s been left at my place setting. Robert raises an eyebrow at me. He doesn’t want a repeat of the pool party and neither do I – I could give a fuck. I reach for Robert’s glass and drink that too. I busy myself with mindless conversation with someone’s overly processed wife. She tells me that my skin looks radiant and wants to know what my secret is. She tells me that she saw my backless dress in the window at Tom Ford on Madison Avenue, that she could never pull it off, that she has back fat, that she purchased her dress at Bergdorf, that her miniature Maltipoo has a hernia and he’s undergoing acupuncture.
I can’t stand another minute of it. Is this what my life is like? How did I ever tolerate any of it? I flag down the waiter and get another glass of expensive champagne. Ridiculously expensive champagne is so fitting at a charity dinner to end hunger. I want to run away. Robert places a hand on the back of my neck to cool my temper. He knows me so well; he always intuits my feelings, sometimes before I’m cognizant of them myself. He rescues me from the chattering woman and leads me away to the window and the spectacular view.
“How are the girls doing?” he asks.
“Huh? What do you mean, in general?”
“I figured you must be texting the sitter – you spent so long in the bathroom.”
“I was going to, but I didn’t. Do you think I should?”
“As long as I can see what he writes back to you,” Robert says.
My jaw goes slack. What the hell is he getting at?
“Is there something going on between you two?”
“What? I can’t . . .” What I really can’t do is lie anymore. It’s too late, tears are already streaming down my face.
Robert puts his arm gently around my shoulders and guides me away from the tables over to a quiet hallway by the entrance. It’s not fair to him that I’m crying, but I can’t stop myself. I wipe away the tears and mascara with the back of my hand.
“How did you find out?” I ask him trying to hold my voice steady.
“Jesus, Kate. The way that boy looks at you. Any fool can tell that he’s in love with you. He practically eats you alive with his eyes.”
To hear Robert say that Jaylee is in love with me makes my heart do an involuntary flutter.
“What I’m more interested in is how you feel about him. You’re not planning on pursuing this, are you? You’re not leading the poor kid on?”
It doesn’t even occur to Robert that I could be in love with Jaylee too. He definitely doesn’t think I’m already fucking him. Robert probably sees Jaylee as a school kid with crush on his teacher. The babysitter thinks the kid’s mom is hot. Suddenly, Robert seems uppity to me.
“Can we not talk about this?” I ask annoyed.
“Kate, that’s not fair. I asked you a valid question. You think watching that exchange wasn’t hard for me? I don’t like the way you respond to him. I need to know how you feel and get a clear sense of whether or not I have to intervene.”
“Intervene? Listen, Jaylee is my friend, he’s a confidant. I don’t have that many friends, Robert. He’s important to me. I want him to have a place in my life right now. I need it.”
“You need the attention?” Robert asks.
“I don’t know. I can’t answer that.” I feel deflated. Somehow Robert manages to make my relationship with Jaylee feel pathetic, meaningless.
“Don’t lead the kid on though, Kate. He’s dying for some reciprocity. We should probably rethink having him babysit. I can’t stand to watch him pine for you.”
My mood is making violent swings. I go from wanting to protect and cradle Robert to feeling angry that he can’t even imagine having any competition. He must not think much of Jaylee if the threat barely registers. I’m married to an extremely confident man.
“He’s good with the girls, and they’re really crazy about him.” For some stupid reason I want Robert to know that
I can’t stand another minute of it. Is this what my life is like? How did I ever tolerate any of it? I flag down the waiter and get another glass of expensive champagne. Ridiculously expensive champagne is so fitting at a charity dinner to end hunger. I want to run away. Robert places a hand on the back of my neck to cool my temper. He knows me so well; he always intuits my feelings, sometimes before I’m cognizant of them myself. He rescues me from the chattering woman and leads me away to the window and the spectacular view.
“How are the girls doing?” he asks.
“Huh? What do you mean, in general?”
“I figured you must be texting the sitter – you spent so long in the bathroom.”
“I was going to, but I didn’t. Do you think I should?”
“As long as I can see what he writes back to you,” Robert says.
My jaw goes slack. What the hell is he getting at?
“Is there something going on between you two?”
“What? I can’t . . .” What I really can’t do is lie anymore. It’s too late, tears are already streaming down my face.
Robert puts his arm gently around my shoulders and guides me away from the tables over to a quiet hallway by the entrance. It’s not fair to him that I’m crying, but I can’t stop myself. I wipe away the tears and mascara with the back of my hand.
“How did you find out?” I ask him trying to hold my voice steady.
“Jesus, Kate. The way that boy looks at you. Any fool can tell that he’s in love with you. He practically eats you alive with his eyes.”
To hear Robert say that Jaylee is in love with me makes my heart do an involuntary flutter.
“What I’m more interested in is how you feel about him. You’re not planning on pursuing this, are you? You’re not leading the poor kid on?”
It doesn’t even occur to Robert that I could be in love with Jaylee too. He definitely doesn’t think I’m already fucking him. Robert probably sees Jaylee as a school kid with crush on his teacher. The babysitter thinks the kid’s mom is hot. Suddenly, Robert seems uppity to me.
“Can we not talk about this?” I ask annoyed.
“Kate, that’s not fair. I asked you a valid question. You think watching that exchange wasn’t hard for me? I don’t like the way you respond to him. I need to know how you feel and get a clear sense of whether or not I have to intervene.”
“Intervene? Listen, Jaylee is my friend, he’s a confidant. I don’t have that many friends, Robert. He’s important to me. I want him to have a place in my life right now. I need it.”
“You need the attention?” Robert asks.
“I don’t know. I can’t answer that.” I feel deflated. Somehow Robert manages to make my relationship with Jaylee feel pathetic, meaningless.
“Don’t lead the kid on though, Kate. He’s dying for some reciprocity. We should probably rethink having him babysit. I can’t stand to watch him pine for you.”
My mood is making violent swings. I go from wanting to protect and cradle Robert to feeling angry that he can’t even imagine having any competition. He must not think much of Jaylee if the threat barely registers. I’m married to an extremely confident man.
“He’s good with the girls, and they’re really crazy about him.” For some stupid reason I want Robert to know that
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