Heart's Surrender by Emma Weimann

great but doesn’t it have to be dark outside?”
    “No, we’re not using the telescope tonight. We’ll be watching a show. They have a state-of-the-art Zeiss Starmaster projector. It’s mind blowing.”
    “I’ve never been to a planetarium.”
    Sam stared at Gillian as if she had two heads. “Really? Not even with the children?”
    “No. Never.”
    “Oh. All right. You’re going to love it.” Sam squinted at her. “You do like pretty stars and the universe, don’t you?”
    Gillian bumped Sam’s shoulder. “Who doesn’t?”
    “Well, I certainly do. I’m here about twice a month at least. It’s just so relaxing to get a perspective on life. What are my problems compared to the mystery and greatness of the universe?”
    Gillian nodded. She could definitely relate to that. “I know what you’re talking about. It’s like looking into the Grand Canyon and realizing how gloriously insignificant our lives are.”
    “You really get it.” Delightful wonder was written all over her face.
    “How being ‘insignificant’ can be a great thing?”
    “Yes. Most people would find it depressing. But I feel like,” Sam shrugged, “I don’t know…free?”
    “Yes, it is.” Once again, Gillian placed her hand on Sam’s thigh and began to lightly rub back and forth. “It’s liberating. And I don’t find it depressing at all.”
    The smile on Sam’s face couldn’t have been wider. “You’re going to love the show. Come on.”
    It didn’t take long for Sam to pay for the tickets as not many people were in line at the counter. That’s weird for a Friday night. Gillian found herself checking out the few visitors that were hanging around in front of the huge and truly ugly red doors that she guessed to be the entrance to the viewing area. Checking people out had become an automatic thing for her. Gillian bit down on her bottom lip. She really needed to get over her fear of what would happen if people found out that she was…a lesbian. Gillian grimaced. She hated that word. It came along with the feeling of being pigeonholed and bullied for loving someone. And even worse—what would her being an “out” lesbian do to her children? What if they were bullied for having a mother in a relationship with another woman? Gillian rubbed the bridge of her nose. Society sucked. To cheat on a partner was condoned in her circles—if done discretely. Fiscal fraud was some kind of sport. But loving someone of the same gender wasn’t as hip as some people proclaimed. The fear of being “out” battled against the guilt she felt about hiding and of not feeling comfortable with who she was. She wrapped her arms tightly around herself. Would there ever be a time when she would be confident enough to even hold hands in public? And was hiding fair to a partner?
    “Hey, you okay?” Sam’s gentle voice tickled Gillian’s ear.
    Gillian forced a smile on her face. This was neither the time nor the place to talk about her insecurities. “Yes. So, is this,” she pointed at the red doors, “where the show is going to happen tonight?”
    Sam tilted her head slightly and observed Gillian’s face for a moment before she said, “Yes, and they should open the doors any second now.”
    Which they did. The small crowd of people who had been gathered disappeared through the doors.
    A slightly musty smell invaded Gillian’s nose when she entered the smallish room. Well, smallish compared to the cinemas she had been to with her children. Here, five rows of bright red chairs were arranged in a circle and, all in all, she guessed around a hundred people could be seated. Gillian’s gaze was drawn to a huge round hole in the middle of the room. What is this?
    “Come on. Let’s sit down. It’s going to start any minute now.” Sam sounded as excited as a five year old on Christmas morning.
    “I thought it would be more crowded.”
    Sam shook her head. “Not on a Friday evening. People go to cinemas on a Friday night or hang out in