Heartfelt Sounds by C.M. Estopare

then.” Hue calls as he slowly slides the door open, peeks his head out before beckoning me to come along.
    I leave the rags there. The boys watch—their eyes wide. I hear someone curse as someone else holds back a laugh—a chuckle.
    Hue and I enter a corridor of white walls, deep cherrywood panels bordering them as tall candelabras throw long shadows onto the dark wood. Hue takes a right, walking briskly, and I struggle to keep up with his long strides as he almost leaves me in the darkness of the corridor when he takes a sharp left—disappearing as the corridor stretches on and on before me. Straight into darkness. And—for a moment, the dim darkness taunts me. The shadows play like hawkish ghouls, and I'm seeing people. I'm seeing puppets play in their shadow world as I continue walking straight.
    A hand reaches from the darkness from my left—grabs hold of my shoulder and I almost shriek.
    But Hue shushes me with a sharp hiss of air. “It's this way, okay?” he tells me, mismatched eyes slightly worried. “Don't get lost—if you need me to slow down just say so.”
    “I'm sorry.” The words come with tears and I feel frustrated as my throat threatens to close.
    “Badger's a bitch.” Hue shrugs, attempts a smile but fails. “Damn, you cry like a girl, Kokoros. Don't let the others see you do that.”
    And I bite my tongue. I swallow my tears. I think to be like Akane and the willows—strong, yet ever-changing. But my throat continues to constrict—to tighten. “I never wanted to be here.” I tell him.
    “Did any of us?” and he turns on his heel, continues down this new corridor at a slower pace but stays in front of me as I dry my tears. As he stops at an oval shaped archway and calmly knocks upon an oaken door. Presses his ear to it. Slides it open and it creaks.
    “Damn—we forgot cleaning stuff. Stay here, alright? I'll be right back—,” and he turns away from the door—but stops. Turns back to me. “Go in there in case Badger comes back. He'll think you're cleaning and might leave you alone.”
    I nod. I move to the door and press it open as he walks away—faster now. Almost at a jog.
    I open it—light pours from two high windows down a creamy wall. The latrine room is large, with two rows of holes stamped into slightly raised wooden bars sitting opposite each other. The light barely reaches the raised bars as shadows dance in the darkness at the light the opened door creates.
    When I close the door—a shadow moves. A voice squeaks.
    “You're—no one's supposed to be in here!” the voice struggles to deepen as I hear fabric shuffle and breeches rise up on a small silhouette. “I'll—I'll tell the nightwatchman! My friend's on tonight—and the latrines are supposed to be free—” the silhouette approaches me and I freeze.
    “I-I'm the duty!” I whisper back as it approaches. “The nightwatchman picked me—so I've got to clean when my friend comes back!”
    The figure freezes in the darkness. Shifts from his left foot to the other. “Do you…know me?”
    I cock my head at the question. At the voice. “I don't know.” I answer truthfully. “I can't see you.”
    A hear a neck pop as the man cracks his neck on one side. “Go into the moonlight.”
    “Right here—just drop it— right here!” I hear Hue's voice and the figure stiffens.
    “Who are you?”
    “Kokoros.” I snap. “ You go into the moonlight!”
    “No—no you're not. I know you.”
    I back away. Press my back upon the door as I think—as footsteps approach from farther down the hallway and Hue comes closer.
    “I don't know you!”
    “Truly…?”
    Silence. The figure pauses. I hear a sharp intake of breath as Hue's footsteps come closer—ever closer.
    “In this bitter world, who can declare the difference between love and hate?”
    The softly sung whisper makes me gasp. I plant my hands against the door as the voice floods into my ears. One of neutral affinity. One that could be molded and shaped to