it. We held the gaze for a moment, and then he turned and waved, and the crowd went crazy. I followed his lead, clinging tightly to him.
And from that day forward, I never let go.
“Don’t let go!” His frantic voice jolted me. I didn’t understand why he sounded so scared. I was alive, wasn’t I? I could remember things. Why was he yelling at me?
I imagined one of my daughters with this good-looking kid. I had to see them get married. I had to. Olivia was dating a good kid named Hardy, and it was looking to get serious. Calvin really liked him, said he was a man of character. But Faith, she had a more fragile heart, and I knew it was going to have to be someone who understood that.
Waves of pain took my breath away. My body felt like it was exploding from the inside out. I clenched my teeth.I didn’t want to let go. I didn’t. But I was certain people didn’t live through this kind of pain. I thought my body was supposed to go into shock. And then maybe it did because I saw Cal’s face, smiling at mine, even though I knew he wasn’t there with me.
22
FAITH
C OLUMBUS C OUNTY C OMMUNITY C HURCH had been standing since 1872. All the original pews were in their places, and firmly planted in each pew sat the descendants of those who’d built it. If you were in the choir, you still sat with the congregation; otherwise the attendance would look awfully sparse. According to Dad, the choir didn’t even sing every Sunday anymore. I walked in with Dad and took a deep breath as I smelled the pine.
Dad sat us in the fifth row on the right side, the same place he’d been sitting since I was born. Mr. and Mrs. Fischer were next to us. Boy, they’d aged. Mrs. Fischer had a cane,and both of them wore glasses now. They didn’t seem to recognize me. I smiled, but maybe they couldn’t see well.
I noticed Olivia behind us on the left side, with her family. The church still seemed to struggle with membership, like always. I remember my parents being some of the youngest members, and Olivia and I being two of only a handful of children.
I didn’t attend church, not once, while I was in New York. Life was busy. Sundays were for catching up on rest or anything else that you didn’t get done during a week that more times than not was just a blur. But I often noticed the gorgeous cathedrals that marked some of the busiest corners in Manhattan. I loved stained glass. It reminded me of this church’s. I sat quietly next to Dad, admiring the filtered light that glowed through the glass like the air had been watercolored.
I glanced back at Olivia once, and she gave me the stink eye. Essie Mae, one of my favorite women from the church, had an ongoing feud with Adeline Starks, and it was all because Essie Mae felt Adeline always gave her “the stink eye.” Hard to define, but when you saw it, you knew it. Just as I chuckled at that memory, I saw Essie Mae ahead, talking with another parishioner.
It felt good to be here, even if I had Laser Eyes behind me.
“Your sister’s bark is worse than her bite.”
I glanced at Dad, startled. What, had he read my mind? “Olivia is Olivia,” I sighed.
“She does love you.”
“I’m not so sure about that, Dad.”
His rebuttal was cut short by the sharp moan of the organ. Everyone abruptly stood. Was that Eliza, still on the organ? She was so hunched her nose nearly hit the keys.
Dad smiled at me. “Yep. That’s her.”
“How old is she?” I whispered.
“Nobody knows for sure. She keeps lying and saying she’s in her eighties.”
I sang the hymns. Knew most of them by heart. Dad didn’t even bother opening the hymnal. I had the voice, but you would’ve thought Dad had the microphone. He was belting it all out, his voice just a decibel under the entire church combined.
The pastor was new. It didn’t surprise me. This church rotated pastors in and out every two or three years. The young ones came, did their time, then went on to bigger and better. Drove my dad
And from that day forward, I never let go.
“Don’t let go!” His frantic voice jolted me. I didn’t understand why he sounded so scared. I was alive, wasn’t I? I could remember things. Why was he yelling at me?
I imagined one of my daughters with this good-looking kid. I had to see them get married. I had to. Olivia was dating a good kid named Hardy, and it was looking to get serious. Calvin really liked him, said he was a man of character. But Faith, she had a more fragile heart, and I knew it was going to have to be someone who understood that.
Waves of pain took my breath away. My body felt like it was exploding from the inside out. I clenched my teeth.I didn’t want to let go. I didn’t. But I was certain people didn’t live through this kind of pain. I thought my body was supposed to go into shock. And then maybe it did because I saw Cal’s face, smiling at mine, even though I knew he wasn’t there with me.
22
FAITH
C OLUMBUS C OUNTY C OMMUNITY C HURCH had been standing since 1872. All the original pews were in their places, and firmly planted in each pew sat the descendants of those who’d built it. If you were in the choir, you still sat with the congregation; otherwise the attendance would look awfully sparse. According to Dad, the choir didn’t even sing every Sunday anymore. I walked in with Dad and took a deep breath as I smelled the pine.
Dad sat us in the fifth row on the right side, the same place he’d been sitting since I was born. Mr. and Mrs. Fischer were next to us. Boy, they’d aged. Mrs. Fischer had a cane,and both of them wore glasses now. They didn’t seem to recognize me. I smiled, but maybe they couldn’t see well.
I noticed Olivia behind us on the left side, with her family. The church still seemed to struggle with membership, like always. I remember my parents being some of the youngest members, and Olivia and I being two of only a handful of children.
I didn’t attend church, not once, while I was in New York. Life was busy. Sundays were for catching up on rest or anything else that you didn’t get done during a week that more times than not was just a blur. But I often noticed the gorgeous cathedrals that marked some of the busiest corners in Manhattan. I loved stained glass. It reminded me of this church’s. I sat quietly next to Dad, admiring the filtered light that glowed through the glass like the air had been watercolored.
I glanced back at Olivia once, and she gave me the stink eye. Essie Mae, one of my favorite women from the church, had an ongoing feud with Adeline Starks, and it was all because Essie Mae felt Adeline always gave her “the stink eye.” Hard to define, but when you saw it, you knew it. Just as I chuckled at that memory, I saw Essie Mae ahead, talking with another parishioner.
It felt good to be here, even if I had Laser Eyes behind me.
“Your sister’s bark is worse than her bite.”
I glanced at Dad, startled. What, had he read my mind? “Olivia is Olivia,” I sighed.
“She does love you.”
“I’m not so sure about that, Dad.”
His rebuttal was cut short by the sharp moan of the organ. Everyone abruptly stood. Was that Eliza, still on the organ? She was so hunched her nose nearly hit the keys.
Dad smiled at me. “Yep. That’s her.”
“How old is she?” I whispered.
“Nobody knows for sure. She keeps lying and saying she’s in her eighties.”
I sang the hymns. Knew most of them by heart. Dad didn’t even bother opening the hymnal. I had the voice, but you would’ve thought Dad had the microphone. He was belting it all out, his voice just a decibel under the entire church combined.
The pastor was new. It didn’t surprise me. This church rotated pastors in and out every two or three years. The young ones came, did their time, then went on to bigger and better. Drove my dad
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