Happy Chaos by Soleil Moon Frye

want my own girls’ birthdays to be just as perfect, minus the cherry cigars. One year I made Poet’s birthday a little too memorable—for the dads, anyway. It was a Tinker Bell–themed party, and let’s just say that the Tinker Bell I hired was very pretty and really filled out her costume. It’s no surprise that the next birthday characters were two people dressed up in Mickey and Minnie Mouse suits. Unfortunately their car broke down in front of our house, so my lasting memory of them was Mickey and Minnie waiting for a tow truck.
    For Poet’s fifth birthday, we had a Grease birthday, and it was a blast. We had the full fifties theme with makeup stations, dress-up stations, and of course a dance party. And just so Jagger didn’t feel left out, we made her the party host. She greeted everyone, and then at the end she got a special gift from the birthday girl. And we do the same when it’s Jagger’s birthday. Poet is the host. Because the last thing you want at a birthday are hurt feelings. Or hot Tinker Bells.

S.P.S.
Fun ideas . . .
    Even elaborate birthday parties don’t have to be expensive. For our Grease party, I went online and found discounted Halloween costumes and spandex pants. A friend set up the makeup station, and another friend sprayed the girls’ hair into wild fifties styles. And a dance party costs nothing if you’re willing to play DJ. Here are some other fun ideas:
    â€¢ Do-it-yourself goodie bags—Fill mason jars with candy, and give each of the kids a rubber-stamp-decorated brown paper sack to fill with candy to take home.
    â€¢ Fairy/treasure hunts—This is one of my favorite things to do at birthdays. Throw a bunch of fun goodies in a bag, and then put them all over the yard or park and the kids can go find them.
    â€¢ Crafts—Buy a bunch of inexpensive frames and let the kids decorate them with paint, stickers, and glitter.
    â€¢ Giving back—Planning a birthday that connects kids to giving back is amazing. Talking to them about bringing toys for kids in need and taking action is a great way to raise children with a sense of compassion and awareness.
Remember that it’s not a competition . . .
    We all want a happy birthday boy or girl, but it’s important not to compare ourselves to other people. I’ve never seen a kid who wasn’t happy just to get together with their friends and eat some pizza and cake. Sounds like a party to me!
Prepare the birthday boy or girl . . .
    Lots of kids—particularly the little ones—have breakdowns at their birthday parties. I will never forget the one birthday when Poet cried as the cake came out, and it broke my heart. It’s good to sit down and have your kids be part of the planning process. Poet and I had a blast on her last birthday putting out the candy and coming up with the cake she wanted. She loves party planning.
Involving siblings . . .
    I really believe in involving siblings in the process. Poet and Jagger are already talking about plans for Jagger’s next birthday. They are picking out themes and music. I love hearing them talk about it with such excitement. I feel like the more they can help each other, the more supportive they are in celebrating their birthdays.
A little sentence to finish . . .
    The best present I have ever gotten for my birthday was....
    â€œA clean house.”
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—Ash
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“Sheets with teddy bears on them, because when I pointed them out to my dad I swear he was not listening!”
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—Jeannette M.
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“My first Easy Bake Oven. The best gift that I have ever received as an adult for my birthday was a pair of tickets to see Wicked from my other half. And you think they don’t pay attention at times. :o)”
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—Nicole A.G.
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“A Walkman for my eleventh birthday. My Dad was a musician and that was the year I really started getting into music so he got me the Walkman. He passed