Happily Ever After: The Life-Changing Power of a Grateful Heart by Trista Sutter
Authors: Trista Sutter
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goodness shaped the worldview of my grandparents who in turn influenced that of their children—my parents. Today those ants and the anthills are gone, but my great-grandpa’s spirit is very much embedded in all my actions and their future ripples. It is precisely these small, often invisible, acts of inner transformation that mold the stuff of our being, and bend the arc of our shared destiny.
On your walk, today and always, I wish you the eyes to see the anthills and the heart to feed them with joy.
May you be blessed. Change yourself—change the world.
My sorority sister Casley told me of a sweet nightly activity she does with her son Sam. As she tucks him in and turns on his nightlight, filling the ceiling with stars, they each choose one, make a wish, and say something they are thankful for. If you don’t have a similar nightlight, improvise with the stars outside or even something like eyelashes or belly buttons. It’s not only a way to remind yourself of your blessings, but also to create a bondwith your child that will continue long past their brief childhood.
At our friend Joel Dekanich’s fortieth birthday party, his kids read forty reasons they are grateful for their dad. What a special way to celebrate! This can be used for anything—birthdays, holidays, anniversaries, or just as a thank-you-for-being-you moment.
Take a lesson from the book of childhood and touch base with your inner preschooler every once in a while. Embrace the simple joys of life as if you were still seeing it through innocent eyes, just as Phoebe demonstrated to Rachel on an episode of Friends when she showed her how much more fun running through Central Park was if you wildly flailed your arms. I also highly recommend skipping! If you don’t want to look quite so silly, you can also belt out “The Wheels on the Bus” in the comfort of your own home or reenact Cameron Diaz’s famous booty shake in Charlie’s Angels. I dare you to let loose and get giggling.
Helping my kids lay the foundation for self-confidence is one of the biggest honors of my life. To help them believe in their own inner beauty, I try to provide a good example of healthy self-esteem, I offer positive reinforcement whenever humanly possible, and I have them repeat their “magic words” every night (inspired by the movie The Help). The phrases are slightly different based on the kids’ individual personalities, but both start with the samestatement: “I am kind.” To do the same, choose a word or string of words that will help encourage your child’s sense of self-worth and remember what Geoffrey Canada, an American activist and educator, once said: “You want kids really thinking ‘I’m somebody special.’ Have them say that every day and they grow up believing it.”
Create an environment of empathy by expecting your kids to complete certain age-appropriate chores, such as feeding your family pet, making their beds, or tidying up their toys. As Charlotte Latvala described on Parents.com , by participating in daily work duties, children will gain a much stronger understanding of the effort that goes into the everyday and appreciate your hard work that much more.
Take a hint from NothingButCountry.com and have your kids or family create an Appreciation Jar. It could be for a teacher or camp counselor, a grandparent or family friend. Maybe it’s for a special day, or maybe just a little pick-me-up. Regardless, it’s simple: cut out hearts from construction paper and have pertinent people write something they appreciate about the recipient. Decorate the jar together, as you’d like, and make sure to take in all the joy that will undoubtedly resonate from that special person in your little one’s life.
All in the Extended Family
Other things may change us, but we start and end with family.
—A NTHONY B RANDT
CHAPTER FIVE
M Y LIFE ON EARTH STARTED AT 12:46 P.M. ON October 28, 1972. It was a day of significance commemorated only by an
On your walk, today and always, I wish you the eyes to see the anthills and the heart to feed them with joy.
May you be blessed. Change yourself—change the world.
My sorority sister Casley told me of a sweet nightly activity she does with her son Sam. As she tucks him in and turns on his nightlight, filling the ceiling with stars, they each choose one, make a wish, and say something they are thankful for. If you don’t have a similar nightlight, improvise with the stars outside or even something like eyelashes or belly buttons. It’s not only a way to remind yourself of your blessings, but also to create a bondwith your child that will continue long past their brief childhood.
At our friend Joel Dekanich’s fortieth birthday party, his kids read forty reasons they are grateful for their dad. What a special way to celebrate! This can be used for anything—birthdays, holidays, anniversaries, or just as a thank-you-for-being-you moment.
Take a lesson from the book of childhood and touch base with your inner preschooler every once in a while. Embrace the simple joys of life as if you were still seeing it through innocent eyes, just as Phoebe demonstrated to Rachel on an episode of Friends when she showed her how much more fun running through Central Park was if you wildly flailed your arms. I also highly recommend skipping! If you don’t want to look quite so silly, you can also belt out “The Wheels on the Bus” in the comfort of your own home or reenact Cameron Diaz’s famous booty shake in Charlie’s Angels. I dare you to let loose and get giggling.
Helping my kids lay the foundation for self-confidence is one of the biggest honors of my life. To help them believe in their own inner beauty, I try to provide a good example of healthy self-esteem, I offer positive reinforcement whenever humanly possible, and I have them repeat their “magic words” every night (inspired by the movie The Help). The phrases are slightly different based on the kids’ individual personalities, but both start with the samestatement: “I am kind.” To do the same, choose a word or string of words that will help encourage your child’s sense of self-worth and remember what Geoffrey Canada, an American activist and educator, once said: “You want kids really thinking ‘I’m somebody special.’ Have them say that every day and they grow up believing it.”
Create an environment of empathy by expecting your kids to complete certain age-appropriate chores, such as feeding your family pet, making their beds, or tidying up their toys. As Charlotte Latvala described on Parents.com , by participating in daily work duties, children will gain a much stronger understanding of the effort that goes into the everyday and appreciate your hard work that much more.
Take a hint from NothingButCountry.com and have your kids or family create an Appreciation Jar. It could be for a teacher or camp counselor, a grandparent or family friend. Maybe it’s for a special day, or maybe just a little pick-me-up. Regardless, it’s simple: cut out hearts from construction paper and have pertinent people write something they appreciate about the recipient. Decorate the jar together, as you’d like, and make sure to take in all the joy that will undoubtedly resonate from that special person in your little one’s life.
All in the Extended Family
Other things may change us, but we start and end with family.
—A NTHONY B RANDT
CHAPTER FIVE
M Y LIFE ON EARTH STARTED AT 12:46 P.M. ON October 28, 1972. It was a day of significance commemorated only by an
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