false.
âHallie?â I was shaken out of these thoughts by the sound of my motherâs voice, which sounded scratchy, like sheâd just woken up, despite the fact it was nine at night.
âYes?â I asked as I set my own bag down. I was ready to be helpfulâbasically, I wanted my mother to start acting like my mother again and not like a silent zombie who knew how to drive a car.
âGo down to the bodega, would you?â she asked, sounding exhausted as she pulled her wallet out of her beat-up leather bag and handed me a ten. âJust get some milk and cereal so weâll have something in the morning. And then get a slice for dinner if youâre hungry.â
I nodded and pocketed the bill. âWhat do you want?â
âNothing,â my mother said, giving me what Iâm sure was supposed to be a smile, but was actually just a poor imitation of one. âIâm going to bed. Lock up when you get back, okay?â
I nodded. âOkay.â I took a breath, to try and say somethingâmaybe that things would be okay, or that this would passâbut I honestly wasnât sure things would be okay. And I wasnât sure my mom thought they would be, either. And both of those things were terrifying to me.
When I came back upstairs, I put the groceries away, then sat in the quiet apartment at our kitchen table with my pizza. I picked at my slice, even though I didnât really have an appetite. I thought back to all the pizza Iâd eaten with Gemma all summerâGemma and the crazy sausage-pineapple-pepperoni pizza that only she and Paul seemed to like.⦠I suddenly drew in a sharp breath. I knew now why Gemmaâs expression when sheâd looked at me from the car had bothered me. It was because I recognized it.
It was the same expression she had on her face when weâd been playing Monopoly and Iâd find out later that sheâd stacked the deck with get-out-of-jail-free cards. It was the expression of fear that she was going to be found out mixed with triumph at winning, however she pulled it off.
It was how she looked when sheâd just gotten away with something.
*Â Â Â *Â Â Â *
âAny change?â Josh asked. In the background, I could hear people yelling and the sounds of laughter and scuffles, and I wondered, not for the first time, why boysâespecially lacrosse-playing boysâwere so loud .
I looked over to my motherâs closed bedroom door. âNo,â I said, relieved that I could actually tell someone the truth. In the two weeks since weâd been back from the Hamptons, things had gone from bad to worse. Strangers on the Internet were still accusing my mother of plagiarism, and her regular teaching jobâthe one whose salary we basically lived onâhad told her that her services wouldnât be required for this coming fall. Sheâd spent a few days on the phone, putting on her best confident voice, trying to get a teaching job somewhere, anywhere else, but getting rejected at every turn. Paul had called a lot the first week, trying to explain, but my mother always hung up pretty quickly, and I guess heâd gotten the message, because the calls slowed and then stopped.
Sheâd gone into her room three days before and had gotten into bed, even though it wasnât even dark outside yet, and had basically been there ever since. I didnât think she was sleeping, thoughâIâd sometimes wake up in the middle of the night and hear the faint sounds of late-night TVâold-timey movies and infomercials promising miracles. Josh had called from his lacrosse camp to check in, and Iâd wasted no time in letting him know just how not-good things were here.
My brother let out a long sigh, and I knew him well enough to understand what he meant by thatâthat we were both feeling totally out of our depth here. âI know,â I agreed.
âI think I should come home,â
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