Gravity (Free Falling) by Raven St. Pierre Page A

asked.
                  “It’s not that, I just had some issues to sort out and I guess it was harder than I thought it would be.”
                  “I won’t keep bugging you about it; I just wanna be sure that you’re okay,” he said.
    I nodded my head , unable to look him in his eyes.  I could feel him staring at me intently as he tried to read my expression and uncover my secret, but all he found there was sadness.  The waitress came to our table and took our order.  I wanted nothing more than a glass of water.  My stomach was queasy and I didn’t want to make it any worse than it already was.  Antonio seemed concerned that I wouldn’t eat, but he didn’t make a fuss.  She left us and we were alone again.  “Did you have a good time at the dance?”  He asked in a low voice and then reached across the table to clasp my hands in his. 
                  “Of course I did.  I always have a good time with you.”
                  “You looked really good in that dress.  I had to make sure to look you in the eyes ‘cause I knew your dad was watching me.”
    I smiled weakly.  “Yeah he was de finitely waiting for you to mess up, so he’d have an excuse to keep me home.”
                  “I can’t blame him for trying to keep you under wraps.  If I had a choice in the matter you wouldn’t go anywhere .  I’d keep you locked up with me somewhere all day,” he said smiling.  It soon faded and his voice took on a more serious tone.  “I really care about you Sam…...I mean I really care about you.”  I braced myself, unsure where this conversation was going.  Then he said the words I wasn’t sure I could handle hearing.  Not on this particular day.  “I love you.”
    I stared back at him for a moment , shocked.  My brain was overloaded already and I wasn’t prepared to add this to the equation.  Feeling Antonio’s eyes on me, I knew that he needed a response.  I searched my heart before answering, being sure that I only responded in truth.  Those words are too important to ever utter them without them being absolutely true.  Did I share these feelings?  In my head, I traveled back to the beginning of our relationship.  I closed my eyes for a moment and let myself remember.  If I erased the past few days from the records and didn’t include AJ in this comparison, I couldn’t remember another person who made me feel as special as Antonio did.  Once upon a time he’d been the only guy to affect my heart in any type of way and get my attention.  I couldn’t deny that I had strong feelings for him – regardless of the fact that things had become a little cloudy lately. 
    I took a deep breath and exhale d the words, “I love you too.” 
    Antonio smiled and kissed my hand again.  He seemed to be relieved to hear me say it – almost like he wasn’t sure if I would or not.  It was clear from his expression that he was content.  I, on the other hand, had a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach that I knew wasn’t supposed to be there.  I smiled back and did my best to ignore it. When you tell someone that you love them for the first time you’re supposed to be on cloud nine, right?  I should’ve been just as excited as Antonio was.  So…why did I feel dread more than I felt anything else?
    Shortly after Antonio finished his meal we were back on the road.  I mostly daydreamed, again unaware of where we were headed.  Every so often I glanced over at him as his eyes watched the road.  My prevailing thought was that I’d done the right thing.  Whether or not I believed that to be true is another story.
    I was beginning to recognize the route Antonio was taking; we were headed to his house.  We pulled into the driveway and he turned the car off.  I didn’t move as quickly to undo my seatbelt as I had at the restaurant, feeling a little nervous about what his intentions might be.  Antonio came around