Tolliver said, without a trace of irony.
six
AFTER the departure of the police, the silence that fell was the noisiest silence weâd ever shared. I didnât even want to look at my brother, much less discuss what had just happened. We didnât move. Finally, I threw my hands up in the air, made a sound that came out âArrrr,â and stomped into my bedroom, slamming the door behind me. It immediately opened, and Tolliver strode in.
âAll right, what did you want me to say?â he said. âDid you want me to lie?â
Iâd thrown myself down on my bed, and Tolliver chose to loom over me, his hands on his hips.
âI didnât want you to say anything,â I said, in as neutral a voice as I could manage. But then I bounced to my feet to glare at him. âI didnât want you to say anything today. What I would have wanted, if I could have had it, was for you to haveshown a little discretion, a little common sense, months ago! What were you thinking? Was your upper brain involved in this process at all?â
âYou justâ¦canât you cut me some slack?â
âNo! No! A waitress here or there, well, ick, but okay! You meet someone in a bar, well, okay! We all have needs. But to have a relationship with a client, someone involved in a caseâ¦come on , Tolliver. You should keep your pants zipped! Or can you?â
Since Tolliver was so in the wrong, he got even angrier. âShe was just a woman. She isnât even a member of the family, at least not the direct family!â
âJust a woman. Okay, Iâm seeing it now. Just a hole for you to sink into, is that what youâre saying? So much for being selective. So much for thinking every time you have sex, âIs this the woman I choose to have a baby with?â Because thatâs what it means, Tolliver!â
âWas that what you were thinking when you screwed that cop in Sarne? How you wanted to have his baby?â
There was another silence, this one charged with other tensions.
âHey,â he said, âIâm sorry I said that.â The anger drained away.
âI donât know if Iâm sorry or not,â I said. âYou know you did a wrong thing. Canât you just say it? Do you have to justify it?â
âDo you have to ask me to?â
âYes, I think I do. Because this wasnât only personal, thiswas business, too. Youâve never done that before.â Okay, at least I didnât think he had.
âFelicia wasnât paying us. Sheâs not really a member of the family.â
âBut still.â
âYeah, yeah,â he said, crumbling at last. âYouâre right. She was too close to the action. I shouldnât have.â He smiled, that rare, radiant smile that almost made me smile in return. Almost. âBut she made a real pass at me, and I guess I was too weak to turn it down. She was offering, she was pretty, and I couldnât think of a real reason why not.â
I tried to think of something to say, but I couldnât. Actually, why not? Exactly for this reason, thatâs why notâbecause this time, Tolliverâs sex life had backfired on us. I thought we were in even more trouble than weâd been before, and that hadnât been inconsiderable.
Tolliver hugged me. âIâm sorry,â he said, and his voice was quiet and sincere. I hugged him back, inhaling the familiar smell of him, laying my cheek against his hard chest. We stood like that for a long minute, with the dust motes floating in the sun coming through the hotel window. Then his arms loosened, and I stepped back.
âThis is what the detectives should have asked you: who called you about the cemetery?â I asked.
âDr. Nunley. And in Detective Laceyâs defense, he did ask me that at the station.â
âDid Nunley say whoâd asked him to call? Or did you get the impression it was just his idea?â I went back
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