Gooney Bird Greene!" the class called.
Mrs. Pidgeon sighed again. "I'm afraid I don't know many facts abut Gooney Bird Greene," she said. "I know a lot of facts about Christopher Columbus, though. Christopher Columbus was born in—"
" We want Gooney Bird! " the class chanted.
"Gooney Bird?" Mrs. Pidgeon said, finally. "How do you feel about this?"
Gooney Bird Greene stood up beside her desk in the middle of the room. "Can I tell the story?" she asked. "Can I be right smack in the middle of everything? Can I be the hero?"
"Well, since you would be the main character," Mrs. Pidgeon said, "I guess that would put you in the middle of everything. I guess that would make you the hero."
"Good," Gooney Bird said. "I will tell you an absolutely true story about me."
2.
Gooney Bird adjusted the pink ballet tutu she was wearing over a pair of green stretch pants. Her T-shirt was decorated with polka dots. Her red hair was pulled into two pigtails and held there with blue scrunchies.
She pulled carefully on one of her pigtails, rearranging it neatly, because the scrunchie was coming loose. She felt her earlobes, which were small and pink and empty.
"I should have worn the dangling diamond earrings that I got from the prince," she told the class. "Maybe I'll wear them next week."
" Diamond earrings? Prince? " Mrs. Pidgeon asked.
"Well, actually, the prince didn't give me the earrings. I got them at the palace," Gooney Bird explained.
"Why were you at the palace?"
"Well, first I was in jail, and then—" Gooney Bird interrupted herself. "It's a long story." She reached down and tidied her socks.
"May I come up to the front of the room to begin?" she asked the teacher after she had adjusted her clothes. "I like to be absolutely the center of attention."
Mrs. Pidgeon nodded and stepped aside so that there was room for Gooney Bird to stand in the front of the class.
"You might as well sit down, Mrs. Pidgeon," Gooney Bird said politely. "Take a load off your feet."
Mrs. Pidgeon sat down in the chair behind her cluttered desk. She looked at the clock on the wall. "We have fifteen minutes," she said, "before arithmetic."
"Class," Gooney Bird said, "you heard Mrs. Pidgeon. We have just fifteen minutes. There are many Gooney Bird stories I might tell you, but I have time for only one today. Who has a suggestion for a story?"
Ben's hand shot up. "Tell about how you came from China," he said.
Nicholas called, "Why are you named Gooney Bird?"
Chelsea was wiggling and wiggling in her seat. "The palace!" she said. "Tell about jail, and the palace, and the diamond earrings!"
Other hands were waving, but Gooney Bird motioned for those children to put their hands down. She looked around the room, thinking.
"This is the title of the story," she said at last. "'How Gooney Bird Got Her Name.'"
"Just like How the Leopard Got His Spots, " Barry Tuckerman said in a loud whisper.
"Barry, pay attention, please," Gooney Bird said. "I like to have absolutely all eyes on me." Then, when the class was silent, and all eyes, except those of Felicia Ann, who always looked at the floor, were on her, she began.
How Gooney Bird Got Her Name
Once upon a time, eight years ago, a man and a woman named Mr. and Mrs. Greene—that's Greene with a silent 'e' at the end—discovered that they were expecting a baby girl.
The man's name was Gordon Greene. His wife was Barbara Greene.
They decided to name their baby girl with their initials. G for Gordon, B for Barbara.
They thought of many different names.
"Gail Beth," said Mrs. Greene. She liked short names.
"Gwendolyn Belinda," said Mr. Greene. He liked long names.
They discussed and discussed. They never argued or fought. But they had many discussions.
Once, in the middle of the night, Mrs. Greene woke up. She had had a dream about a name. She nudged Mr. Greene until he woke up a little bit. Then she said, "Georgina Babette."
"No," he said, and went back to sleep.
One night Mr. Greene woke
Mrs. Pidgeon sighed again. "I'm afraid I don't know many facts abut Gooney Bird Greene," she said. "I know a lot of facts about Christopher Columbus, though. Christopher Columbus was born in—"
" We want Gooney Bird! " the class chanted.
"Gooney Bird?" Mrs. Pidgeon said, finally. "How do you feel about this?"
Gooney Bird Greene stood up beside her desk in the middle of the room. "Can I tell the story?" she asked. "Can I be right smack in the middle of everything? Can I be the hero?"
"Well, since you would be the main character," Mrs. Pidgeon said, "I guess that would put you in the middle of everything. I guess that would make you the hero."
"Good," Gooney Bird said. "I will tell you an absolutely true story about me."
2.
Gooney Bird adjusted the pink ballet tutu she was wearing over a pair of green stretch pants. Her T-shirt was decorated with polka dots. Her red hair was pulled into two pigtails and held there with blue scrunchies.
She pulled carefully on one of her pigtails, rearranging it neatly, because the scrunchie was coming loose. She felt her earlobes, which were small and pink and empty.
"I should have worn the dangling diamond earrings that I got from the prince," she told the class. "Maybe I'll wear them next week."
" Diamond earrings? Prince? " Mrs. Pidgeon asked.
"Well, actually, the prince didn't give me the earrings. I got them at the palace," Gooney Bird explained.
"Why were you at the palace?"
"Well, first I was in jail, and then—" Gooney Bird interrupted herself. "It's a long story." She reached down and tidied her socks.
"May I come up to the front of the room to begin?" she asked the teacher after she had adjusted her clothes. "I like to be absolutely the center of attention."
Mrs. Pidgeon nodded and stepped aside so that there was room for Gooney Bird to stand in the front of the class.
"You might as well sit down, Mrs. Pidgeon," Gooney Bird said politely. "Take a load off your feet."
Mrs. Pidgeon sat down in the chair behind her cluttered desk. She looked at the clock on the wall. "We have fifteen minutes," she said, "before arithmetic."
"Class," Gooney Bird said, "you heard Mrs. Pidgeon. We have just fifteen minutes. There are many Gooney Bird stories I might tell you, but I have time for only one today. Who has a suggestion for a story?"
Ben's hand shot up. "Tell about how you came from China," he said.
Nicholas called, "Why are you named Gooney Bird?"
Chelsea was wiggling and wiggling in her seat. "The palace!" she said. "Tell about jail, and the palace, and the diamond earrings!"
Other hands were waving, but Gooney Bird motioned for those children to put their hands down. She looked around the room, thinking.
"This is the title of the story," she said at last. "'How Gooney Bird Got Her Name.'"
"Just like How the Leopard Got His Spots, " Barry Tuckerman said in a loud whisper.
"Barry, pay attention, please," Gooney Bird said. "I like to have absolutely all eyes on me." Then, when the class was silent, and all eyes, except those of Felicia Ann, who always looked at the floor, were on her, she began.
How Gooney Bird Got Her Name
Once upon a time, eight years ago, a man and a woman named Mr. and Mrs. Greene—that's Greene with a silent 'e' at the end—discovered that they were expecting a baby girl.
The man's name was Gordon Greene. His wife was Barbara Greene.
They decided to name their baby girl with their initials. G for Gordon, B for Barbara.
They thought of many different names.
"Gail Beth," said Mrs. Greene. She liked short names.
"Gwendolyn Belinda," said Mr. Greene. He liked long names.
They discussed and discussed. They never argued or fought. But they had many discussions.
Once, in the middle of the night, Mrs. Greene woke up. She had had a dream about a name. She nudged Mr. Greene until he woke up a little bit. Then she said, "Georgina Babette."
"No," he said, and went back to sleep.
One night Mr. Greene woke
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