said that I
gotta take this on myself.’ Clifton wept and took another
drink. ‘When I seen she ain’t gonna come I said I be back
but she said don’t even bother wit’ that.’
He put his
head to his knees and cried.
I was too
weak to comfort him but I knew what was right. I knew that I should
tell him everything I knew about Mouse; what a rotten man he was and
how he messed with other people’s lives. Even if Clifton didn’t
believe me I should have told him and then my conscience would’ve
been clean. I should have taken that boy in the car and gone back
home to Houston, but I was sick and tired. Even when he told me
Mouse’s plan I stayed quiet.
‘Yo’
friend tole me t’meet him t’night. He showed me a place
in the woods where I could sleep an’ then he said I should meet
him t’night an’ he gotta plan fo me t’get away. I
axed why he doin’ all that for me an’ he said he doin’
it fo’ Ernestine so the law don’t get on her. So what can
I do?’
I wake up
nights remembering Clifton sitting there with his hands stretched
out. I had the answers but I didn’t give them to him because
Mouse was my friend and you don’t cross your friends.
Or maybe I
just didn’t care. Maybe that’s what was wrong with us
back then. Life was so hard that we were too tired from just living
to lend a hand.
Clifton
left after a while and I didn’t even think about going with
him. He knew that Mouse was up to no good but he needed someone else
to say it so that he could change his mind.
He’d
have been lucky if it was Big Jim on his trail.
The
second-night drunk never feels as good as the first. I finished the
whiskey and laid in a funk all night. I didn’t sleep at all. I
just had visions of people coming in and out of my room; some of them
I knew and some I didn’t.
My daddy
came in and sat on the bed. He looked at me with sad eyes and I felt
I had done something wrong. I asked why he never came back and he
said that he died; that he wanted to come back but death was too much
and he finally gave out.
Mouse came
in with a young woman. He was talking to me but feeling on her at the
same time. I asked him to stop but he said, ‘You know you like
t’watch, Ease.’ And then he pulled out his thing, it was
so big that the girl got scared but Mouse sweet-talked her and she
said okay…
Then the
door opened and Domaque came in. He stood next to the bed and said,
‘You up, Easy?’
‘Do
I look like I’m up?’
‘Well…
you lyin’ down but yo’ eyes is open…’
I just
waited for him to disappear like the rest of my dreams but then he
said, ‘I wanted t’talk wit’ someone, Easy. An’
you Raymond’s friend too…,’ He went on, ‘I met
that girl an’ she real pretty, an’ she be out to Momma’s
house.’
‘At
Jo’s?’
‘Uh-huh.
She called Ernestine an’ I like her an’ she said she come
out an’ look at my house if Momma wanted her to.’
‘Yeah?’
‘Uh-huh,
Easy. She kinda pretty an’ she wanna stay out to there wit’
momma…’
When I saw
the sky lightening into dawn the dreams went away. I knew that I had
fever but it didn’t matter because I was sure now that I had to
go home. I was going to go to church with Miss Alexander and then I
was going to find the road to Rags Pond. And when I got back to
Houston I was going to learn how to read and write. That was all I
knew; in that I guess I was lucky.
Chapter 10
‘Easy! Easy!
Time fo’ church, hon!’
It was
Miss Alexander calling from the door. I guess she didn’t want
to come into a man’s room uninvited.
‘All
right,’ I called back. ‘I be up in minute.’ But I
was asleep before my mouth closed.
In my
sleep I saw my parents sitting at breakfast. My father was reading a
paper even though he couldn’t read. My mother was making
griddle cakes, singing…
‘Easy!’
Miss Alexander was shaking my shoulder and calling in my ear. ‘We
gotta go, honey! Jo gonna be there.’
I remember
sitting on
gotta take this on myself.’ Clifton wept and took another
drink. ‘When I seen she ain’t gonna come I said I be back
but she said don’t even bother wit’ that.’
He put his
head to his knees and cried.
I was too
weak to comfort him but I knew what was right. I knew that I should
tell him everything I knew about Mouse; what a rotten man he was and
how he messed with other people’s lives. Even if Clifton didn’t
believe me I should have told him and then my conscience would’ve
been clean. I should have taken that boy in the car and gone back
home to Houston, but I was sick and tired. Even when he told me
Mouse’s plan I stayed quiet.
‘Yo’
friend tole me t’meet him t’night. He showed me a place
in the woods where I could sleep an’ then he said I should meet
him t’night an’ he gotta plan fo me t’get away. I
axed why he doin’ all that for me an’ he said he doin’
it fo’ Ernestine so the law don’t get on her. So what can
I do?’
I wake up
nights remembering Clifton sitting there with his hands stretched
out. I had the answers but I didn’t give them to him because
Mouse was my friend and you don’t cross your friends.
Or maybe I
just didn’t care. Maybe that’s what was wrong with us
back then. Life was so hard that we were too tired from just living
to lend a hand.
Clifton
left after a while and I didn’t even think about going with
him. He knew that Mouse was up to no good but he needed someone else
to say it so that he could change his mind.
He’d
have been lucky if it was Big Jim on his trail.
The
second-night drunk never feels as good as the first. I finished the
whiskey and laid in a funk all night. I didn’t sleep at all. I
just had visions of people coming in and out of my room; some of them
I knew and some I didn’t.
My daddy
came in and sat on the bed. He looked at me with sad eyes and I felt
I had done something wrong. I asked why he never came back and he
said that he died; that he wanted to come back but death was too much
and he finally gave out.
Mouse came
in with a young woman. He was talking to me but feeling on her at the
same time. I asked him to stop but he said, ‘You know you like
t’watch, Ease.’ And then he pulled out his thing, it was
so big that the girl got scared but Mouse sweet-talked her and she
said okay…
Then the
door opened and Domaque came in. He stood next to the bed and said,
‘You up, Easy?’
‘Do
I look like I’m up?’
‘Well…
you lyin’ down but yo’ eyes is open…’
I just
waited for him to disappear like the rest of my dreams but then he
said, ‘I wanted t’talk wit’ someone, Easy. An’
you Raymond’s friend too…,’ He went on, ‘I met
that girl an’ she real pretty, an’ she be out to Momma’s
house.’
‘At
Jo’s?’
‘Uh-huh.
She called Ernestine an’ I like her an’ she said she come
out an’ look at my house if Momma wanted her to.’
‘Yeah?’
‘Uh-huh,
Easy. She kinda pretty an’ she wanna stay out to there wit’
momma…’
When I saw
the sky lightening into dawn the dreams went away. I knew that I had
fever but it didn’t matter because I was sure now that I had to
go home. I was going to go to church with Miss Alexander and then I
was going to find the road to Rags Pond. And when I got back to
Houston I was going to learn how to read and write. That was all I
knew; in that I guess I was lucky.
Chapter 10
‘Easy! Easy!
Time fo’ church, hon!’
It was
Miss Alexander calling from the door. I guess she didn’t want
to come into a man’s room uninvited.
‘All
right,’ I called back. ‘I be up in minute.’ But I
was asleep before my mouth closed.
In my
sleep I saw my parents sitting at breakfast. My father was reading a
paper even though he couldn’t read. My mother was making
griddle cakes, singing…
‘Easy!’
Miss Alexander was shaking my shoulder and calling in my ear. ‘We
gotta go, honey! Jo gonna be there.’
I remember
sitting on
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