same way as Brendan. After leaving the psychologist, he walks home thinking that it isn’t as bad as he thought and he feels somewhat better talking to her. Once again he has hope. He also finds it interesting that his appointment with the psychologist is at the same time as his catechism classes were the year before. That ended in disappointment, but he is sure that this time he is in good hands.
H e also feels more and more pressure from his school mates and various girls to have a girlfriend. He is from the same gene pool as his Casanova brother, so he is hugely attractive and liked by many. He is talented in many ways, does well in a number of extramural activities and impresses everyone with his massive general knowledge of just about anything. He often withdraws himself from everyone which gives the impression that he is a bit shy, although he isn’t. Many girls like the fact that he is attractive, yet without the arrogance that some of the other hot guys have. He knows that he has to get a girlfriend, or else people might suspect something. But who? He still finds himself staring at other boys, wondering how big their packages are, although thankfully, it is much less than before. He now makes a deliberate attempt to look around. There are some girls with whom he is great friends, but he doesn’t want anything more from them. It just doesn’t feel right somehow.
Chapter XV
A little more than a year later, Kevin is sitting at the office of the psychologist again. He thinks that they have made great progress. His pain associated with Brendan’s death is gone. He understands now that when one has depression and it spirals out of control, parts of the brain begin to shut down. One of the brain’s functions is to conserve energy. So, if one has depression, this leads one to become irrational and illogical. Therefore, subjects requiring logic like math and science will see a decline in performance. The brain then interprets this poor performance as a signal that it cannot perform logical functions and shuts science and math abilities down, because it needs to conserve energy. Eventually the brain has shut down so many functions that it erroneously comes to a conclusion that there is no point to function anymore. As a short cut taken by the brain, the idea of termination or death is the last and only remaining option. The brain doesn’t realize that in termination, it terminates itself too. Hence, depression is irrational thinking.
In short, Brendan didn’t make the choice of killing himself. His brain did so by coming to a mistaken conclusion, because it wasn’t functioning correctly anymore due to his illness. Once a person reaches a p oint where termination appears to be the last remaining solution, there is very little even a trained psychiatrist or psychologist can do.
His other concern was that he felt he should have done something. Brendan was his friend and there were things that were shared only between the two of them. Brendan didn’t give a warning, didn’t say a word about his plans or send a message. Kevin had no idea the problem was so serious. The psychologist told him that when people are seriously set on committing suicide, they usually don’t give anyone a warning, because then someone would try and stop them. He now knows that he was not responsible in any way. This brings peace and great comfort to Kevin.
He now understands everything about self-esteem and that he had put too much pressure on himself to perform well and figure out how the world works. He doesn’t have any pressure from his parents to perform, so it can only come from himself.
He is annoyed that once again he didn’t do as well as he wanted in athletics, although he won all his races except the last one. “The last one was the only one that mattered!” he said and he was frustrated that no one seemed to get it. If he had won that one, he would have gone to the South African championship, but he came second. Second
H e also feels more and more pressure from his school mates and various girls to have a girlfriend. He is from the same gene pool as his Casanova brother, so he is hugely attractive and liked by many. He is talented in many ways, does well in a number of extramural activities and impresses everyone with his massive general knowledge of just about anything. He often withdraws himself from everyone which gives the impression that he is a bit shy, although he isn’t. Many girls like the fact that he is attractive, yet without the arrogance that some of the other hot guys have. He knows that he has to get a girlfriend, or else people might suspect something. But who? He still finds himself staring at other boys, wondering how big their packages are, although thankfully, it is much less than before. He now makes a deliberate attempt to look around. There are some girls with whom he is great friends, but he doesn’t want anything more from them. It just doesn’t feel right somehow.
Chapter XV
A little more than a year later, Kevin is sitting at the office of the psychologist again. He thinks that they have made great progress. His pain associated with Brendan’s death is gone. He understands now that when one has depression and it spirals out of control, parts of the brain begin to shut down. One of the brain’s functions is to conserve energy. So, if one has depression, this leads one to become irrational and illogical. Therefore, subjects requiring logic like math and science will see a decline in performance. The brain then interprets this poor performance as a signal that it cannot perform logical functions and shuts science and math abilities down, because it needs to conserve energy. Eventually the brain has shut down so many functions that it erroneously comes to a conclusion that there is no point to function anymore. As a short cut taken by the brain, the idea of termination or death is the last and only remaining option. The brain doesn’t realize that in termination, it terminates itself too. Hence, depression is irrational thinking.
In short, Brendan didn’t make the choice of killing himself. His brain did so by coming to a mistaken conclusion, because it wasn’t functioning correctly anymore due to his illness. Once a person reaches a p oint where termination appears to be the last remaining solution, there is very little even a trained psychiatrist or psychologist can do.
His other concern was that he felt he should have done something. Brendan was his friend and there were things that were shared only between the two of them. Brendan didn’t give a warning, didn’t say a word about his plans or send a message. Kevin had no idea the problem was so serious. The psychologist told him that when people are seriously set on committing suicide, they usually don’t give anyone a warning, because then someone would try and stop them. He now knows that he was not responsible in any way. This brings peace and great comfort to Kevin.
He now understands everything about self-esteem and that he had put too much pressure on himself to perform well and figure out how the world works. He doesn’t have any pressure from his parents to perform, so it can only come from himself.
He is annoyed that once again he didn’t do as well as he wanted in athletics, although he won all his races except the last one. “The last one was the only one that mattered!” he said and he was frustrated that no one seemed to get it. If he had won that one, he would have gone to the South African championship, but he came second. Second
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