deserves anything. There’s no one keeping score. Why can’t everyone be happy for eternity, and no one has to suffer?”
“I don’t know,” said Ava softly. “I’m sorry, but this isn’t my thing. It isn’t James’s, either. It’s Henry’s. And maybe Persephone’s. She could probably tell you.”
“Great,” I muttered. “The two people who can explain it are either being held hostage or want nothing to do with this anymore. I’m sure the first thing Persephone’s going to want to do after we interrupt her is tell me all about the thousands of years she spent doing this. No wonder she gave up her immortality and ran.”
“Don’t,” said James from behind us. I jumped. He was closer than I’d thought. “Persephone went through hell. She deserves a little happiness.”
There was that word again. I didn’t care what Persephone deserved. I cared about what she’d done and why. “That’s exactly why this might all be for nothing,” I said. “If she won’t help us, then what?”
“Persephone’s a better person than you think,” said James. “Henry’s probably filled your head with all sorts of stories about how he’s the victim, but they both were. He was stuck with a wife he loved who didn’t love him back, and she was stuck with a husband she didn’t love and a job that made her miserable. Don’t hate her for that.”
I fidgeted. The only other time I’d seen James like this was when he’d confronted Henry about making me stay in Eden Manor after I’d tried to leave, and seeing James’s anger and disapproval made me want to crawl under the log and hide.
“I don’t hate her,” I said quietly. “I hate that she was something to Henry that I’ll never be. I hate that she could do this damn job without feeling ready to jump into a lake of fire herself. And Henry’s never said a word against her.”
With his mouth set in a thin line, James set down the pieces of wood he’d collected, and he started to build a small teepee that reminded me of the fries he used to treat like Lincoln Logs back in Eden High School, before I’d known he was a god. Before any of this had ever happened. “She and Henry had thousands of years together. You’ve barely had one. Give it time.”
“I’m not going to tell you again that Henry loves you,” said Ava. “You can choose to believe me or not, but I wouldn’t lie to you.”
“I know you wouldn’t, and I believe you, but you two didn’t see how he acted around me.” No matter how many years we had together and how much he loved me, I knew he would never love me as much as he loved Persephone. He couldn’t love two people that much. It was impossible.
James finished arranging the wood. Rubbing his hands together, he held them out as if he were trying to get warm. A moment later, the wood crackled, and the sticks burst into a cheerful fire. “He acts like that with all of us, but it doesn’t mean he doesn’t care.”
I wasn’t all of them though. I was supposed to be his wife. His queen. His partner. “So I’m supposed to accept that having a husband who never touches me is fine?”
“You’re the one who decided to do this,” said James, and I glowered at him. “Don’t give me that look. I warned you he wasn’t going to act the way you expected. It’s not his fault for being himself.”
“So it’s my fault for pushing him?” I said, and the moment it was out, I knew it was true. My face reddened. I hated the desperation that filled me, making it impossible to see logic and reason; I hated the part of me that was capable of acting this way. All I wanted was to know he cared. That he wasn’t doing this because he had to. I didn’t want to force him, but he wasn’t doing it on his own, and I didn’t know what to feel anymore. Not when I was giving up my entire future on a maybe.
I touched the flower made of pink quartz and pearls in my pocket. The things he’d said to me before the ceremony—his insistence that
“I don’t know,” said Ava softly. “I’m sorry, but this isn’t my thing. It isn’t James’s, either. It’s Henry’s. And maybe Persephone’s. She could probably tell you.”
“Great,” I muttered. “The two people who can explain it are either being held hostage or want nothing to do with this anymore. I’m sure the first thing Persephone’s going to want to do after we interrupt her is tell me all about the thousands of years she spent doing this. No wonder she gave up her immortality and ran.”
“Don’t,” said James from behind us. I jumped. He was closer than I’d thought. “Persephone went through hell. She deserves a little happiness.”
There was that word again. I didn’t care what Persephone deserved. I cared about what she’d done and why. “That’s exactly why this might all be for nothing,” I said. “If she won’t help us, then what?”
“Persephone’s a better person than you think,” said James. “Henry’s probably filled your head with all sorts of stories about how he’s the victim, but they both were. He was stuck with a wife he loved who didn’t love him back, and she was stuck with a husband she didn’t love and a job that made her miserable. Don’t hate her for that.”
I fidgeted. The only other time I’d seen James like this was when he’d confronted Henry about making me stay in Eden Manor after I’d tried to leave, and seeing James’s anger and disapproval made me want to crawl under the log and hide.
“I don’t hate her,” I said quietly. “I hate that she was something to Henry that I’ll never be. I hate that she could do this damn job without feeling ready to jump into a lake of fire herself. And Henry’s never said a word against her.”
With his mouth set in a thin line, James set down the pieces of wood he’d collected, and he started to build a small teepee that reminded me of the fries he used to treat like Lincoln Logs back in Eden High School, before I’d known he was a god. Before any of this had ever happened. “She and Henry had thousands of years together. You’ve barely had one. Give it time.”
“I’m not going to tell you again that Henry loves you,” said Ava. “You can choose to believe me or not, but I wouldn’t lie to you.”
“I know you wouldn’t, and I believe you, but you two didn’t see how he acted around me.” No matter how many years we had together and how much he loved me, I knew he would never love me as much as he loved Persephone. He couldn’t love two people that much. It was impossible.
James finished arranging the wood. Rubbing his hands together, he held them out as if he were trying to get warm. A moment later, the wood crackled, and the sticks burst into a cheerful fire. “He acts like that with all of us, but it doesn’t mean he doesn’t care.”
I wasn’t all of them though. I was supposed to be his wife. His queen. His partner. “So I’m supposed to accept that having a husband who never touches me is fine?”
“You’re the one who decided to do this,” said James, and I glowered at him. “Don’t give me that look. I warned you he wasn’t going to act the way you expected. It’s not his fault for being himself.”
“So it’s my fault for pushing him?” I said, and the moment it was out, I knew it was true. My face reddened. I hated the desperation that filled me, making it impossible to see logic and reason; I hated the part of me that was capable of acting this way. All I wanted was to know he cared. That he wasn’t doing this because he had to. I didn’t want to force him, but he wasn’t doing it on his own, and I didn’t know what to feel anymore. Not when I was giving up my entire future on a maybe.
I touched the flower made of pink quartz and pearls in my pocket. The things he’d said to me before the ceremony—his insistence that
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