here,” he said. “I’ll never be with anyone else but you. I’ll never want to.” She lifted up one hand and put it against Danny’s face. “Mine,” she said.
They began spending more and more time in Danny’s room. He opened his drawer. “Look,” he said shyly, and she looked down and saw the five kinds of condoms he had bought: red and blue and ribbed, all with names so ridiculous she sputtered with laughter. Bareback Rider. Intense. Wild Thing. In the supermarket, all he had to do was trace a line down her back, and her whole body felt a flutter and she would turn and kiss him. She wouldn’t be able to stop. “Kids, get a room,” someone muttered,walking past them, and all Sara could think was,
I wish we could. I wish we could get a whole country
.
He took her places she didn’t even know existed. A Japanese mall at the far end of town, a supermarket where every item was either in Japanese or translated incorrectly. Sara plucked up a sponge, delighted, because it was called Clean Life Please. She bought Danny a tea towel that said “From the Kitchen of Buxom Beauties.”
He showed her how to tune an engine, sneaking her into the vocational school, patient when she flubbed it. “Soon as I get a car, I’ll teach you to drive,” he said. He showed her the maps he saved. California, Alaska, the paper soft because he had opened and closed them back up so many times.
“You don’t need much money to live a good life in Alaska,” Danny said.
“Is that where you’re going when school’s over?” Sara asked. She didn’t want to look at the maps anymore.
“I’m going where you’re going,” he said and folded the maps shut.
They talked quietly about the future, planning it out. The house they’d live in, by the water, with a backyard. His auto body shop nearby, and her psychologist office on the top floor. The dog they would have, a big rangy mutt that would sleep at the foot of their bed. “You’re the first thing I haven’t somehow fucked up in my life,” he told her. “The first thing I’ve ever gotten right.”
That night, when she was alone in bed, she imagined Danny there beside her, and she got so restless, she bolted up from bed and went to the kitchen for ice, rolling it across her arms and legs, trying to cool some of the heat down. She came back upstairs and sat at the window, willing him to come get her. If he showed, she vowed she’d climb out her window to be with him. She swore she’d let him into her room. She reached for her phone and told herself if he didn’t answer on the first ring, she’d hang up.
“Hello?” His voice was soft, heavy with sleep.
“Come and get me,” she whispered.
She felt him before she saw him. Then she heard pebbles rattling at the window. Stealthily, she opened the window and slid outside, grabbing on to the maple tree she had grown up climbing, shimmying down in her nightgown, her toes curling on the dewy grass. The neighborhood was dark. A cat yowled in the distance. And then the two of them lowered to the damp grass. Wordlessly, she slid off her nightgown, she unbuttoned his shirt and lifted up her mouth to his.
Later, when she finally came back in, she fell into a sleep so deep she felt drugged. When Abby came in the morning to wake Sara for school, there were bits of grass on the sheet, and the hem of her nightgown was muddy, and Abby, racing to leave for work herself, didn’t notice. “There’s my beautiful daughter,” Jack said, walking past her room.
Sara ran off for school, stopping at the patch of grass where she and Danny had been the night before. In the hazy morning light, it seemed almost magical, and she crouched, raising one hand over the grass, and she still felt its heat.
She didn’t think anything of it when she missed one period, but when she missed the next one, she told Danny. “It’s just nerves. You can’t be pregnant,” he said. “We used condoms.”
“Condoms don’t always work. What if I am?
They began spending more and more time in Danny’s room. He opened his drawer. “Look,” he said shyly, and she looked down and saw the five kinds of condoms he had bought: red and blue and ribbed, all with names so ridiculous she sputtered with laughter. Bareback Rider. Intense. Wild Thing. In the supermarket, all he had to do was trace a line down her back, and her whole body felt a flutter and she would turn and kiss him. She wouldn’t be able to stop. “Kids, get a room,” someone muttered,walking past them, and all Sara could think was,
I wish we could. I wish we could get a whole country
.
He took her places she didn’t even know existed. A Japanese mall at the far end of town, a supermarket where every item was either in Japanese or translated incorrectly. Sara plucked up a sponge, delighted, because it was called Clean Life Please. She bought Danny a tea towel that said “From the Kitchen of Buxom Beauties.”
He showed her how to tune an engine, sneaking her into the vocational school, patient when she flubbed it. “Soon as I get a car, I’ll teach you to drive,” he said. He showed her the maps he saved. California, Alaska, the paper soft because he had opened and closed them back up so many times.
“You don’t need much money to live a good life in Alaska,” Danny said.
“Is that where you’re going when school’s over?” Sara asked. She didn’t want to look at the maps anymore.
“I’m going where you’re going,” he said and folded the maps shut.
They talked quietly about the future, planning it out. The house they’d live in, by the water, with a backyard. His auto body shop nearby, and her psychologist office on the top floor. The dog they would have, a big rangy mutt that would sleep at the foot of their bed. “You’re the first thing I haven’t somehow fucked up in my life,” he told her. “The first thing I’ve ever gotten right.”
That night, when she was alone in bed, she imagined Danny there beside her, and she got so restless, she bolted up from bed and went to the kitchen for ice, rolling it across her arms and legs, trying to cool some of the heat down. She came back upstairs and sat at the window, willing him to come get her. If he showed, she vowed she’d climb out her window to be with him. She swore she’d let him into her room. She reached for her phone and told herself if he didn’t answer on the first ring, she’d hang up.
“Hello?” His voice was soft, heavy with sleep.
“Come and get me,” she whispered.
She felt him before she saw him. Then she heard pebbles rattling at the window. Stealthily, she opened the window and slid outside, grabbing on to the maple tree she had grown up climbing, shimmying down in her nightgown, her toes curling on the dewy grass. The neighborhood was dark. A cat yowled in the distance. And then the two of them lowered to the damp grass. Wordlessly, she slid off her nightgown, she unbuttoned his shirt and lifted up her mouth to his.
Later, when she finally came back in, she fell into a sleep so deep she felt drugged. When Abby came in the morning to wake Sara for school, there were bits of grass on the sheet, and the hem of her nightgown was muddy, and Abby, racing to leave for work herself, didn’t notice. “There’s my beautiful daughter,” Jack said, walking past her room.
Sara ran off for school, stopping at the patch of grass where she and Danny had been the night before. In the hazy morning light, it seemed almost magical, and she crouched, raising one hand over the grass, and she still felt its heat.
She didn’t think anything of it when she missed one period, but when she missed the next one, she told Danny. “It’s just nerves. You can’t be pregnant,” he said. “We used condoms.”
“Condoms don’t always work. What if I am?
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