she’d been screaming at him. But it seemed all he had to do was whisper a few sweet nothings, and she was in his power once again. Even now she was following him to the door.
‘Chloe!’ I gasped. ‘I thought you were going to come back to my place!’
‘Oh, it’s OK, Zoe,’ she said. ‘The guys will give me a lift home. School tomorrow, yeah? Got to get an early night.’ And off they went.
I didn’t have much time to be flabbergasted. Mrs Norman was coming down the stairs, squeezing past Mr Norman, who was shampooing the stair carpet with a resigned expression on his face.
‘That’s got them back to bed,’ she said, staring accusingly at me. ‘I must admit I was surprised, Zoe, when we arrived back, to find the house full of people and the twins running around naked.’
I could have said so much in self-defence. But I suddenly realised it was my chance to get out of babysitting for ever. I need never wrestle and struggle with these nasty little oiks, ever again.
‘You’re absolutely right,’ I said. ‘I’m terribly sorry. It all went pear-shaped. In your position, I wouldn’t feel I could trust me ever again.’
‘Oh, I wouldn’t go so far as to . . .’
‘Yes,’ I said firmly. ‘It was a disaster. I’m sorry. I admit it. I can’t control your children and I feel I should leave it to somebody who can.’ I shot her an accusing glance here, because we both knew that thanks to her maternal incompetence, she couldn’t control them either. In fact, who could?
‘No, no, Zoe, the twins adore you!’ said Mrs Norman. She was on the back foot now. I had taken the initiative good and proper. It was a moment of triumph, pretending to be totally useless. I made a mental note to use it again, when I next needed an escape.
‘No, it’s been a disaster. Excuse me,’ I said, and dived into the sitting room to pick up my jacket. Mrs Norman followed me in.
‘Zoe, please don’t be upset . . .’
‘I am upset,’ I said. I was becoming upset, actually. Yes! I really was upset. My chin actually trembled. I could feel it go. ‘I’ve made a mess of it here and I don’t think it makes sense for me to babysit for you any more. Sorry.’
I walked to the front door. Mrs Norman raced after me, tugging at my sleeve and pleading.
‘Oh please, Zoe! Don’t say that! I don’t mind you having friends over! Of course not – just as long as you tell us first.’
‘I didn’t know they were going to come over,’ I said with what I hoped was simple saintliness. ‘I didn’t even know Chloe was coming. She just turned up, soaking wet – and the guys were looking for Chloe. It was nothing to do with me. But anyway, thanks a lot! Bye!’
I opened the door and strode out. I had rarely felt so terrific. Mrs Norman stood on the doorstep and actually wailed at my retreating back.
‘Zoe!’ she cried. ‘Wait! Don’t leave us like this!’
I turned by the gate and gave her a sad-but-plucky little wave. I also shrugged in a picturesque way. In the film of my life I would be played by Audrey Tatou. Although she’d have to put a bit of weight on first.
Soon I was comfortably out of sight of the Norman house. Mrs N had given up and, I suspect, was even now taking it out on Clive with a series of vicious kicks.
My mobile rang. It was Tam. Darling Tamsin! In the film of my life she would be played by Kate Winslet.
‘Tam!’ I cried. ‘How are you? Where are you? Are you feeling better?’
‘I’m in my room,’ said Tamsin. ‘I haven’t slept or eaten for two days. I’m seriously in danger of losing it.’
‘Well, at least you’re not at the bottom of the river!’ I joked, trying to jolly her along.
‘I’d never drown myself,’ said Tamsin scornfully. ‘When you drown your body sort of all swells up.’
‘Gross!’ I cried. ‘You wouldn’t want to look fat, would you, even if you were dead.’
There was silence at the other end. I hoped Tamsin wasn’t trying to work out a more stylish
‘Chloe!’ I gasped. ‘I thought you were going to come back to my place!’
‘Oh, it’s OK, Zoe,’ she said. ‘The guys will give me a lift home. School tomorrow, yeah? Got to get an early night.’ And off they went.
I didn’t have much time to be flabbergasted. Mrs Norman was coming down the stairs, squeezing past Mr Norman, who was shampooing the stair carpet with a resigned expression on his face.
‘That’s got them back to bed,’ she said, staring accusingly at me. ‘I must admit I was surprised, Zoe, when we arrived back, to find the house full of people and the twins running around naked.’
I could have said so much in self-defence. But I suddenly realised it was my chance to get out of babysitting for ever. I need never wrestle and struggle with these nasty little oiks, ever again.
‘You’re absolutely right,’ I said. ‘I’m terribly sorry. It all went pear-shaped. In your position, I wouldn’t feel I could trust me ever again.’
‘Oh, I wouldn’t go so far as to . . .’
‘Yes,’ I said firmly. ‘It was a disaster. I’m sorry. I admit it. I can’t control your children and I feel I should leave it to somebody who can.’ I shot her an accusing glance here, because we both knew that thanks to her maternal incompetence, she couldn’t control them either. In fact, who could?
‘No, no, Zoe, the twins adore you!’ said Mrs Norman. She was on the back foot now. I had taken the initiative good and proper. It was a moment of triumph, pretending to be totally useless. I made a mental note to use it again, when I next needed an escape.
‘No, it’s been a disaster. Excuse me,’ I said, and dived into the sitting room to pick up my jacket. Mrs Norman followed me in.
‘Zoe, please don’t be upset . . .’
‘I am upset,’ I said. I was becoming upset, actually. Yes! I really was upset. My chin actually trembled. I could feel it go. ‘I’ve made a mess of it here and I don’t think it makes sense for me to babysit for you any more. Sorry.’
I walked to the front door. Mrs Norman raced after me, tugging at my sleeve and pleading.
‘Oh please, Zoe! Don’t say that! I don’t mind you having friends over! Of course not – just as long as you tell us first.’
‘I didn’t know they were going to come over,’ I said with what I hoped was simple saintliness. ‘I didn’t even know Chloe was coming. She just turned up, soaking wet – and the guys were looking for Chloe. It was nothing to do with me. But anyway, thanks a lot! Bye!’
I opened the door and strode out. I had rarely felt so terrific. Mrs Norman stood on the doorstep and actually wailed at my retreating back.
‘Zoe!’ she cried. ‘Wait! Don’t leave us like this!’
I turned by the gate and gave her a sad-but-plucky little wave. I also shrugged in a picturesque way. In the film of my life I would be played by Audrey Tatou. Although she’d have to put a bit of weight on first.
Soon I was comfortably out of sight of the Norman house. Mrs N had given up and, I suspect, was even now taking it out on Clive with a series of vicious kicks.
My mobile rang. It was Tam. Darling Tamsin! In the film of my life she would be played by Kate Winslet.
‘Tam!’ I cried. ‘How are you? Where are you? Are you feeling better?’
‘I’m in my room,’ said Tamsin. ‘I haven’t slept or eaten for two days. I’m seriously in danger of losing it.’
‘Well, at least you’re not at the bottom of the river!’ I joked, trying to jolly her along.
‘I’d never drown myself,’ said Tamsin scornfully. ‘When you drown your body sort of all swells up.’
‘Gross!’ I cried. ‘You wouldn’t want to look fat, would you, even if you were dead.’
There was silence at the other end. I hoped Tamsin wasn’t trying to work out a more stylish
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