Getting Ahead by Emily Cale

ride after that. Her hands shook violently, and her heart threatened to push its way out of her chest. Somehow, she managed to dismount and make her way to the fence. All she could manage was to hold on tight and pray she wouldn’t pass out. Everything felt like it was spinning. She couldn’t do this, not today, maybe not ever.
    ***
     
    As the rider went down, all he could think about was whether Amber would be able to go on. After everything she’d been through, trying to prepare for this, seeing someone go down would shake her spirit. He’d watched her struggle to overcome her fear, but now that it was sitting right in front of her, he knew she wouldn’t be able to simply ignore it anymore. He certainly wouldn’t be able to.
    He needed to see her. Sure, she’d asked him to leave her alone, but he couldn’t simply sit in the stands and wonder how she was doing. If she didn’t go out there, or worse, if she did and something happened, he’d always feel as though he’d abandoned her in the moment of her greatest need. He had to do something more. Whether she liked it or not, they were in it together at this point. Maybe yelling at him would take her mind off her turn.
    He stood up and pushed his way through all the people out on the concourse. Once there, he nearly sprinted around to the back area where the contestants hung out. He started stopping people and asking where she might be, but everyone gave him the same response. They hadn’t seen her in a while. His gut sank. Maybe she’d already run off. It’d taken him a little bit to work his way back there, so there was a chance he had missed her.
    Turning around, he found her clutching the fence, Black Lightning standing close by.
    “Amber?” He jogged over and put an arm on her back. “What are you doing? You’re supposed to go on in a minute.” He half-expected her to slap him across the face and walk off without another word. He wouldn’t blame her if she did. After all, he’d treated her like some woman he meant to sleep with then leave behind. If he’d followed his instincts, he wouldn’t have kept any secrets from her.
    “I don’t think I can.” Her eyes were puffy and red, like she’d been crying, but he didn’t see a single tear.
    “Why not? Because someone else fell? How many competitions have you been at where no one fell?”
    She didn’t answer him.
    “You have to go out there. You’ve worked too hard not to go out there and give it your best shot.” We’ve worked too hard to give up.
    “I can’t. I’m not ready.” She turned away.
    Catching her arm, he held her in place. “Do you think you’ll be ready at any point? If you leave now, what are you going to do? Keep training until the next competition? Then what? Will you give up at the next one where someone before you falls? You can’t base your competition on anyone else. The only one you are competing against today is yourself. As long as you go out there and ride, you’re a winner.” He’d heard the line a hundred times, but not once in his career had he believed it. Saying it to Amber, he finally understood what it meant. Whatever happened on her runs, no matter what the results of the go-rounds were, he would always think she was the bravest person he’d ever met.
    “I don’t feel like one right now.” She relaxed her arm and allowed him to pull her close.
    “You don’t have to. I know that you are the best rider out here. I’ll believe in you. You just go out there and do the best you can.”
    “What if I screw it up? What if I fall again?” She finally voiced the words he’d imagined playing in her mind like a broken record since the first day he met her.
    “You’ll still be a winner in my book.” He kissed her forehead gently.
    “Do you really believe that I can do this?”
    “No.”
    Her smile fell.
    “I don’t have to believe in anything, I know you can.”
    “You’re up,” a voice called from a few steps away.
    She took in a deep breath,