Get the Truth: Former CIA Officers Teach You How to Persuade Anyone to Tell All by Philip Houston, Michael Floyd, Susan Carnicero
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more difficult.
Third, a remarkably effective mechanism to get someone to stop talking is the universal stop sign: You hold up your hand. You do it almost as a gesture of self-defense—you’re not extending it out aggressively and shoving it into the person’s face, or doing it with attitude. It’s a visual amplification of your control phrase, and it’s more powerful than you might imagine. The reason is that this is a verbal battle, and when you get the person to stop talking, you’ve taken away his weapon. In medieval times, it was a clash of swords; in the Wild West, it was a gunfight. The knight whose sword was stricken from his hand, the cowboy whose gun was emptied of its bullets, suddenly had no choice but to raise his arms in surrender. He was helpless. That same sense of helplessness can overwhelm a person in a verbal battle if he’s unable to speak. It becomes a one-sided fight.
Several investigators from a sheriff’s department in California who had undergone our training several years ago later got in touch with us to share the story of how they had recently broken up a gang-related theft ring. They did it by getting one of the gang members, whom we’ll call “Carl,” to admit that the gang had broken into a warehouse and stolen over $100,000 worth of desktop computer systems.
The investigators’ supervisor had contended that it would be pointless to interview Carl, because he was one of the more hardened gang members, and there was no way he was going to talk. The supervisor relented when the investigators insisted that it was worth a shot. After they got the confession, the stunned supervisor wanted to know how they did it. They went back into the interview room and asked Carl what prompted him to confess.
“As soon as I saw your hand come up, and you wouldn’t let me lie to you,” Carl said, “I knew it was game over.” Without being able to say anything, it was like he had brought a knife to a gunfight. He had no chance.
* * *
Resistance varies not only in the form it takes, but in the timing of its appearance. Often, it appears before the engagement even begins. If a person has made up his mind that he’s going to resist the process, whether it’s a screening interview, a criminal questioning, or some other encounter, his aim will likely be to try to delay or control the situation. That was certainly the case with a senior executive with a Fortune 500 company, whom we’ll call “Norman.”
Early in his career at the Agency, Phil was assigned to a case related to the selection of Norman’s company for a government contract. The sensitive nature of the work that was to be performed under the contract was such that several executives within the company, including Norman, were required to obtain security clearances. The problem in Norman’s case was that his background investigation had revealed that he had a foreign associate whom he had not disclosed to the government as required. It was a serious situation: Norman had lied on a government form about his association with a foreign national. Phil’s job was to get Norman to acknowledge the association, ascertain the nature of the relationship, and determine why Norman had failed to disclose it.
A neutral observer could have been forgiven for seeing the matchup as grossly unbalanced. Phil, young and relatively inexperienced, was up against this much older, seasoned executive, who was no doubt used to issuing directives and having them followed. Asserting his control in any business encounter was second nature. Phil knew the moment Norman entered the room that he had his hands full.
Phil introduced himself, and asked Norman to have a seat. With a silent, dismissive glance, Norman turned and spotted a hanger on a hook on the back of the door. He walked slowly back toward the door, making an elaborate, deliberate effort of taking off his suit coat, hanging it up, and finally sitting down. He looked at Phil. “I don’t have a lot of
Third, a remarkably effective mechanism to get someone to stop talking is the universal stop sign: You hold up your hand. You do it almost as a gesture of self-defense—you’re not extending it out aggressively and shoving it into the person’s face, or doing it with attitude. It’s a visual amplification of your control phrase, and it’s more powerful than you might imagine. The reason is that this is a verbal battle, and when you get the person to stop talking, you’ve taken away his weapon. In medieval times, it was a clash of swords; in the Wild West, it was a gunfight. The knight whose sword was stricken from his hand, the cowboy whose gun was emptied of its bullets, suddenly had no choice but to raise his arms in surrender. He was helpless. That same sense of helplessness can overwhelm a person in a verbal battle if he’s unable to speak. It becomes a one-sided fight.
Several investigators from a sheriff’s department in California who had undergone our training several years ago later got in touch with us to share the story of how they had recently broken up a gang-related theft ring. They did it by getting one of the gang members, whom we’ll call “Carl,” to admit that the gang had broken into a warehouse and stolen over $100,000 worth of desktop computer systems.
The investigators’ supervisor had contended that it would be pointless to interview Carl, because he was one of the more hardened gang members, and there was no way he was going to talk. The supervisor relented when the investigators insisted that it was worth a shot. After they got the confession, the stunned supervisor wanted to know how they did it. They went back into the interview room and asked Carl what prompted him to confess.
“As soon as I saw your hand come up, and you wouldn’t let me lie to you,” Carl said, “I knew it was game over.” Without being able to say anything, it was like he had brought a knife to a gunfight. He had no chance.
* * *
Resistance varies not only in the form it takes, but in the timing of its appearance. Often, it appears before the engagement even begins. If a person has made up his mind that he’s going to resist the process, whether it’s a screening interview, a criminal questioning, or some other encounter, his aim will likely be to try to delay or control the situation. That was certainly the case with a senior executive with a Fortune 500 company, whom we’ll call “Norman.”
Early in his career at the Agency, Phil was assigned to a case related to the selection of Norman’s company for a government contract. The sensitive nature of the work that was to be performed under the contract was such that several executives within the company, including Norman, were required to obtain security clearances. The problem in Norman’s case was that his background investigation had revealed that he had a foreign associate whom he had not disclosed to the government as required. It was a serious situation: Norman had lied on a government form about his association with a foreign national. Phil’s job was to get Norman to acknowledge the association, ascertain the nature of the relationship, and determine why Norman had failed to disclose it.
A neutral observer could have been forgiven for seeing the matchup as grossly unbalanced. Phil, young and relatively inexperienced, was up against this much older, seasoned executive, who was no doubt used to issuing directives and having them followed. Asserting his control in any business encounter was second nature. Phil knew the moment Norman entered the room that he had his hands full.
Phil introduced himself, and asked Norman to have a seat. With a silent, dismissive glance, Norman turned and spotted a hanger on a hook on the back of the door. He walked slowly back toward the door, making an elaborate, deliberate effort of taking off his suit coat, hanging it up, and finally sitting down. He looked at Phil. “I don’t have a lot of
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