elevator.
“Let me guess,” Conrad Linthor says, as if he and Billie have been having a conversation. “You’re here to audition.” When Billie continues to stare at him blankly, this time because she really doesn’t know what he’s talking about and not just because she’s faking being stupid, he elaborates: “You want to be a sidekick. That guy who just got off? The Blue Fist? I hear his sidekicks keep quitting for some reason.”
“I’m here to meet a friend,” Billie says. “Why does everyone keep asking me that? Are you? You know, a sidekick?”
“Me?” Conrad Linthor says. “Very funny.”
The elevator door dings open, fifteenth floor, and Billie gets off.
“See you around,” Conrad Linthor calls after her. It sounds more mocking than hopeful.
You know what, Paul Zell? I never thought you would be super handsome or anything. I never cared about what you might turn out to look like. I know you have brown hair and brown eyes and you’re kind of skinny and you have a big nose. I know because you told me you look like your avatar, Boggle. Me, I was always terrified you’d ask for my photo, because then it would really have been a lie, even more of a lie, because I would’ve sent you a photo of Melinda.
My dad says I look so much like Melinda did when she was a kid, it’s scary. That we could practically be twins. But I’ve seen pictures of Melinda when she was my age and I don’t look like her at all. Melinda was kind of freakish looking when she was my age, actually. I think that’s why she’s so nice now and not vain, because it was a surprise to her, too, when she got awesome looking. I’m not gorgeous and I’m not a freak, either, and so that whole ugly duckling then knockout swan thing that Melinda went through probably isn’t going to happen to me.
But you saw me, right? You know what I look like.
Billie knocks on the door of Paul Zell’s hotel room, just in case. Even though you aren’t there. If you were there, she’d die on the spot of heart failure, even though that’s why she’s there. To see you.
Maybe you’re wondering why she came all this way, when meeting you face-to-face was always going to be this huge problem.Honestly? She doesn’t really know. She still doesn’t know. Except you said: Want to meet up? See if this is real or not?
What was she supposed to do? Say no? Tell the truth?
There are two double beds in room 1584, and a black suitcase on a luggage rack. No Paul Zell, because you’re going to be in meetings all day. The plan is to meet at the Golden Lotus at six.
Last night you slept in one of those beds, Paul Zell. Billie sits down on the bed closest to the window. It’s a damn shame housekeeping has already made up the room, otherwise Billie could climb into the bed you were sleeping in last night and put her head down on your pillow.
She goes over to the suitcase, and here’s where it starts to get kind of awful, Paul Zell. This is why I have to write about all of this in the third person, because maybe then I can pretend that it wasn’t really me there, doing these things.
The lid of your suitcase is up. You’re a tidy packer, Paul Zell. The dirty clothes on the floor of the closet are folded. Billie lifts up the squared shirts and khakis. Even the underwear is folded. Your pants size is 32, Paul Zell. Your socks are just socks. There’s a velvet box, a jeweler’s box, near the bottom of the suitcase, and Billie opens it. Then she puts the box back at the bottom of the suitcase. I can’t really tell you what she was thinking right then, even though I was there.
I can’t tell you everything, Paul Zell.
Billie didn’t pack a suitcase, because her dad and Melinda would have wondered about that. (But nobody’s ever surprised when you go off to school and your backpack looks crammed full of things.) Billie takes out the skirt she’s planning to wear to dinner and hangs it up in the closet. She brushes her teeth andafterward she puts her
“Let me guess,” Conrad Linthor says, as if he and Billie have been having a conversation. “You’re here to audition.” When Billie continues to stare at him blankly, this time because she really doesn’t know what he’s talking about and not just because she’s faking being stupid, he elaborates: “You want to be a sidekick. That guy who just got off? The Blue Fist? I hear his sidekicks keep quitting for some reason.”
“I’m here to meet a friend,” Billie says. “Why does everyone keep asking me that? Are you? You know, a sidekick?”
“Me?” Conrad Linthor says. “Very funny.”
The elevator door dings open, fifteenth floor, and Billie gets off.
“See you around,” Conrad Linthor calls after her. It sounds more mocking than hopeful.
You know what, Paul Zell? I never thought you would be super handsome or anything. I never cared about what you might turn out to look like. I know you have brown hair and brown eyes and you’re kind of skinny and you have a big nose. I know because you told me you look like your avatar, Boggle. Me, I was always terrified you’d ask for my photo, because then it would really have been a lie, even more of a lie, because I would’ve sent you a photo of Melinda.
My dad says I look so much like Melinda did when she was a kid, it’s scary. That we could practically be twins. But I’ve seen pictures of Melinda when she was my age and I don’t look like her at all. Melinda was kind of freakish looking when she was my age, actually. I think that’s why she’s so nice now and not vain, because it was a surprise to her, too, when she got awesome looking. I’m not gorgeous and I’m not a freak, either, and so that whole ugly duckling then knockout swan thing that Melinda went through probably isn’t going to happen to me.
But you saw me, right? You know what I look like.
Billie knocks on the door of Paul Zell’s hotel room, just in case. Even though you aren’t there. If you were there, she’d die on the spot of heart failure, even though that’s why she’s there. To see you.
Maybe you’re wondering why she came all this way, when meeting you face-to-face was always going to be this huge problem.Honestly? She doesn’t really know. She still doesn’t know. Except you said: Want to meet up? See if this is real or not?
What was she supposed to do? Say no? Tell the truth?
There are two double beds in room 1584, and a black suitcase on a luggage rack. No Paul Zell, because you’re going to be in meetings all day. The plan is to meet at the Golden Lotus at six.
Last night you slept in one of those beds, Paul Zell. Billie sits down on the bed closest to the window. It’s a damn shame housekeeping has already made up the room, otherwise Billie could climb into the bed you were sleeping in last night and put her head down on your pillow.
She goes over to the suitcase, and here’s where it starts to get kind of awful, Paul Zell. This is why I have to write about all of this in the third person, because maybe then I can pretend that it wasn’t really me there, doing these things.
The lid of your suitcase is up. You’re a tidy packer, Paul Zell. The dirty clothes on the floor of the closet are folded. Billie lifts up the squared shirts and khakis. Even the underwear is folded. Your pants size is 32, Paul Zell. Your socks are just socks. There’s a velvet box, a jeweler’s box, near the bottom of the suitcase, and Billie opens it. Then she puts the box back at the bottom of the suitcase. I can’t really tell you what she was thinking right then, even though I was there.
I can’t tell you everything, Paul Zell.
Billie didn’t pack a suitcase, because her dad and Melinda would have wondered about that. (But nobody’s ever surprised when you go off to school and your backpack looks crammed full of things.) Billie takes out the skirt she’s planning to wear to dinner and hangs it up in the closet. She brushes her teeth andafterward she puts her
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