proposing either. I just know that I want to be part of something that helps solve the problems, not a part of pushing the issues aside in order to meet a statistical need.”
Dex brushed her hair from her shoulder. He grazed his lips over her neck, then kissed her softly. “That’s one of the things I admire most about you. You’ve always wanted to help others.”
“I’ve…I’ve never been in a real position to help anyone,” she admitted.
He loved hearing the hitch in her voice, knowing his touch was getting to her. “You helped me.”
She laughed and playfully pushed at his chest. He caught her hand in his, locking eyes with her. He brought her hand to his lips and kissed each finger, then trailed kisses up her wrist.
“When…Oh God, Dex.” His name was a heated whisper. “When have I ever helped you with anything? You’ve always been there for me, but you’ve never needed anyone.”
“That’s where you’re wrong, Ellie. Have you really forgotten all the times you pulled me through?”
She shook her head and pulled her hand from his grasp. “You’ve got it wrong. It was the other way around.”
No way in hell did he have it wrong. When his father said things to him that made him want to crawl under a rock, she was there to lift his spirits up. In high school, when he was lost in development of his first computer game, she sat right by his side at a time when other kids ignored him or left him alone because he seemed aloof or too much of an egghead. She didn’t make him feel weird. In some ways, she was his savior. He knew if he reminded her, she’d shove it under the carpet, like it was no big deal, or maybe over the edge of the balcony altogether. It was a big deal, but Ellie had never been very good at acknowledging her feelings, until earlier, in the alley. Dex wasn’t taking any chances of breaking the moment. He let their silence carry her statement away.
“My new bank card should arrive tomorrow and I have another interview, so hopefully I’ll get a job and be able to start looking for a place to live.”
The thought sent a pain through his gut. “Stay. Even if you get a job, there’s no reason to rush into a year-long lease somewhere.”
Her gaze softened. He could get lost in her eyes. “Dex, I’m not sure I’ll ever be what you want me to be.”
He clenched his jaw. Damn it. Will it always come down to this?
“I don’t know if I have it in me.”
“Damn it, Ellie. Why do you even say those things? You have what it takes to love someone. But maybe you just don’t want to love me.” He looked away, afraid he’d say something else he knew he would regret.
“You know, you’re the only man I’m sure I have ever loved, Dex. But you want a woman who knows how to stay. You want a woman who can deal with issues head-on.”
“Wait. What did you just say?” He locked eyes with her.
She drew her brows together. “That you want a woman who can deal with issues?”
“No. Rewind. Before that.”
Her eyes glazed over again.
“I’m the only man that you’ve ever loved. You said it and I heard it. Did you mean it?” Please tell me you meant it, for Christ’s sake .
“Dex.” Her eyes begged him not to make her answer.
His body tensed. “Tell me, Ellie. Did you mean it?”
Her eyes widened, then narrowed as contemplation washed over her face. She drew in a long breath and inched her mouth into a firm line.
“Jesus, Ellie.” He pushed to his feet. “What the hell is all of this? I know it’s been a long time, but what we had then and what we have now…It sure as hell feels real.”
She looked down.
“I know you love me, Ellie, and you know you do, too. Whatever it was that made you run from Maryland back to New York must have hurt the hell out of you. I get that, okay? You know that if anyone does, I do. But I can’t do this over and over again. When I saw you in that bar, my heart stopped. I wanted to run, Ellie, because of everything you’ve already
Dex brushed her hair from her shoulder. He grazed his lips over her neck, then kissed her softly. “That’s one of the things I admire most about you. You’ve always wanted to help others.”
“I’ve…I’ve never been in a real position to help anyone,” she admitted.
He loved hearing the hitch in her voice, knowing his touch was getting to her. “You helped me.”
She laughed and playfully pushed at his chest. He caught her hand in his, locking eyes with her. He brought her hand to his lips and kissed each finger, then trailed kisses up her wrist.
“When…Oh God, Dex.” His name was a heated whisper. “When have I ever helped you with anything? You’ve always been there for me, but you’ve never needed anyone.”
“That’s where you’re wrong, Ellie. Have you really forgotten all the times you pulled me through?”
She shook her head and pulled her hand from his grasp. “You’ve got it wrong. It was the other way around.”
No way in hell did he have it wrong. When his father said things to him that made him want to crawl under a rock, she was there to lift his spirits up. In high school, when he was lost in development of his first computer game, she sat right by his side at a time when other kids ignored him or left him alone because he seemed aloof or too much of an egghead. She didn’t make him feel weird. In some ways, she was his savior. He knew if he reminded her, she’d shove it under the carpet, like it was no big deal, or maybe over the edge of the balcony altogether. It was a big deal, but Ellie had never been very good at acknowledging her feelings, until earlier, in the alley. Dex wasn’t taking any chances of breaking the moment. He let their silence carry her statement away.
“My new bank card should arrive tomorrow and I have another interview, so hopefully I’ll get a job and be able to start looking for a place to live.”
The thought sent a pain through his gut. “Stay. Even if you get a job, there’s no reason to rush into a year-long lease somewhere.”
Her gaze softened. He could get lost in her eyes. “Dex, I’m not sure I’ll ever be what you want me to be.”
He clenched his jaw. Damn it. Will it always come down to this?
“I don’t know if I have it in me.”
“Damn it, Ellie. Why do you even say those things? You have what it takes to love someone. But maybe you just don’t want to love me.” He looked away, afraid he’d say something else he knew he would regret.
“You know, you’re the only man I’m sure I have ever loved, Dex. But you want a woman who knows how to stay. You want a woman who can deal with issues head-on.”
“Wait. What did you just say?” He locked eyes with her.
She drew her brows together. “That you want a woman who can deal with issues?”
“No. Rewind. Before that.”
Her eyes glazed over again.
“I’m the only man that you’ve ever loved. You said it and I heard it. Did you mean it?” Please tell me you meant it, for Christ’s sake .
“Dex.” Her eyes begged him not to make her answer.
His body tensed. “Tell me, Ellie. Did you mean it?”
Her eyes widened, then narrowed as contemplation washed over her face. She drew in a long breath and inched her mouth into a firm line.
“Jesus, Ellie.” He pushed to his feet. “What the hell is all of this? I know it’s been a long time, but what we had then and what we have now…It sure as hell feels real.”
She looked down.
“I know you love me, Ellie, and you know you do, too. Whatever it was that made you run from Maryland back to New York must have hurt the hell out of you. I get that, okay? You know that if anyone does, I do. But I can’t do this over and over again. When I saw you in that bar, my heart stopped. I wanted to run, Ellie, because of everything you’ve already
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