and I nod hastily.
“Take me, then. However you want, take me. Use me to quiet your mind.”
I open my legs and he settles his hips between my thighs. His beautiful green eyes look so tormented. I would give anything to take away his hurt… his pain.
He places his hands on each side of my face as his forehead rests against mine.
“I’ll always be him.” He rasps, and I frown when a solitary tear runs down his cheek and drips onto my lips.
I reach up and wipe my thumb over the wet trail, slightly pulling his face back so I can look into his eyes. We stare at each other for some time, using only our eyes to communicate our wants, our fears, and the undeniable connection that lingers between us.
My breath hitches as he sinks into me. My fingernails rip across his skin as he takes me hard and unrelenting.
Nestling his head into my shoulder, his teeth sink into my shoulder harshly as he claims me as his own. And I am his. Whether I die here, or whether I live outside of this place, I will always only belong to him, my heart, my soul, and my body.
My legs wrap around his hips as I hold on with everything that I’ve got. I don’t want to let go of this moment. He’s allowing a closeness to exist between us, and I refuse to give it up. I’ve longed for this my entire life. To feel as he’s made me feel, whether it be pain or pleasure. He’s stripped me down to my soul, and he’s molded me into someone else.
As his thrusts become more frenzied, he released his jaw from my shoulder and pulls away. My heart screams for him to stay close, but he won’t allow it. When feelings become raw, he runs from them. He runs from me.
He wraps his fingers around my neck and squeezes. Even as the stars dance before my eyes, I will not break eye contact. His eyes have become clouded with his madness. The tenderness dissipated the second that he pulled away and left me bare below him as he continued to use me.
But I gave that permission, because I could care less about my torn and battered heart. I only care about his. It isn’t healthy. It isn’t warranted either.
My feelings for him pulse through every vein in my body. The need to help this beautiful monster has possessed my senses. My feelings for him have thrown my inhibitions out the window. Though I’m pained to admit it, I do love him. With every fiber of my being, I do.
His head flies back as he roars. His hips still, but his grip on my throat remains. I can’t distinguish whether I should be afraid or grateful. My eyes cannot leave his, though. And when the room around us becomes black, I only see his face. Little stars float around him as my mouth opens and closes, a breath never offering my lungs salvation.
I see his face morph from hatred to remorse in an instant. Finally, he releases his hold and leaves me panting for air.
Then, he leaves.
I’m alone as the moonlight shines across the room. I allow the tears to flow as I curl into a ball, fisting the blanket, my heart feeling as though it is going to break through my ribcage and catapult from my chest.
I allow myself to cry for my childhood, for my adulthood – because I’ve always been lonely. I’ve always been disregarded. I wish that he would have held on until my brain could take no more. I wish that he would have ended me once and for all instead of teasing me with the thought of death.
Yet, he didn’t. He wouldn’t allow it.
I don’t know how long I’ve been lying here. I listened to his faint screams as I stared at the shadows that the trees outside have cast throughout the room. They stretched and swayed, calming me as I listened to his breaking point.
He’s quiet now, but my mind is not.
I never thought in a million years that I would end up here, in this place with a man who has captivated both my body and my heart.
When my father vanished, I was thrown into the system.
I was left behind, and yet I didn’t know how to feel. My entire life, I’d felt not one sliver of love. My
“Take me, then. However you want, take me. Use me to quiet your mind.”
I open my legs and he settles his hips between my thighs. His beautiful green eyes look so tormented. I would give anything to take away his hurt… his pain.
He places his hands on each side of my face as his forehead rests against mine.
“I’ll always be him.” He rasps, and I frown when a solitary tear runs down his cheek and drips onto my lips.
I reach up and wipe my thumb over the wet trail, slightly pulling his face back so I can look into his eyes. We stare at each other for some time, using only our eyes to communicate our wants, our fears, and the undeniable connection that lingers between us.
My breath hitches as he sinks into me. My fingernails rip across his skin as he takes me hard and unrelenting.
Nestling his head into my shoulder, his teeth sink into my shoulder harshly as he claims me as his own. And I am his. Whether I die here, or whether I live outside of this place, I will always only belong to him, my heart, my soul, and my body.
My legs wrap around his hips as I hold on with everything that I’ve got. I don’t want to let go of this moment. He’s allowing a closeness to exist between us, and I refuse to give it up. I’ve longed for this my entire life. To feel as he’s made me feel, whether it be pain or pleasure. He’s stripped me down to my soul, and he’s molded me into someone else.
As his thrusts become more frenzied, he released his jaw from my shoulder and pulls away. My heart screams for him to stay close, but he won’t allow it. When feelings become raw, he runs from them. He runs from me.
He wraps his fingers around my neck and squeezes. Even as the stars dance before my eyes, I will not break eye contact. His eyes have become clouded with his madness. The tenderness dissipated the second that he pulled away and left me bare below him as he continued to use me.
But I gave that permission, because I could care less about my torn and battered heart. I only care about his. It isn’t healthy. It isn’t warranted either.
My feelings for him pulse through every vein in my body. The need to help this beautiful monster has possessed my senses. My feelings for him have thrown my inhibitions out the window. Though I’m pained to admit it, I do love him. With every fiber of my being, I do.
His head flies back as he roars. His hips still, but his grip on my throat remains. I can’t distinguish whether I should be afraid or grateful. My eyes cannot leave his, though. And when the room around us becomes black, I only see his face. Little stars float around him as my mouth opens and closes, a breath never offering my lungs salvation.
I see his face morph from hatred to remorse in an instant. Finally, he releases his hold and leaves me panting for air.
Then, he leaves.
I’m alone as the moonlight shines across the room. I allow the tears to flow as I curl into a ball, fisting the blanket, my heart feeling as though it is going to break through my ribcage and catapult from my chest.
I allow myself to cry for my childhood, for my adulthood – because I’ve always been lonely. I’ve always been disregarded. I wish that he would have held on until my brain could take no more. I wish that he would have ended me once and for all instead of teasing me with the thought of death.
Yet, he didn’t. He wouldn’t allow it.
I don’t know how long I’ve been lying here. I listened to his faint screams as I stared at the shadows that the trees outside have cast throughout the room. They stretched and swayed, calming me as I listened to his breaking point.
He’s quiet now, but my mind is not.
I never thought in a million years that I would end up here, in this place with a man who has captivated both my body and my heart.
When my father vanished, I was thrown into the system.
I was left behind, and yet I didn’t know how to feel. My entire life, I’d felt not one sliver of love. My
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