“you’re
right. I’ve been stupid. I need to set a line for myself.”
I
looked at Giara and my mom’s face looked back at me.
“Mom,”
I said, and then because my voice cracked when I said that name I haven’t said
in too long, I started again. “Mom, I promise I won’t do anything dumb.”
Giara
reached forward and took my hand in her own. There was silence at the table, as
tears ran down my face.
“That’s
good enough for me,” she said.
Ms.
P. smiled at me; tears were in her eyes but none fell. “That’s good enough for
me too.”
We
smiled at each other; I laughed a strange explosive crying laugh, and I wiped
my face. The bell on the door rang when Joe walked back inside the restaurant.
He dropped his coat next to Giara’s purse, and then sat at the table.
“When
did the food get here?” he said as he reached for a chip.
I
shook my head and laughed.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Overall,
it was a pleasant criminal experience. Giara and Ms. P. seemed to like each
other as allies in the war against teenage promiscuity. Joe and I relaxed in
the vinyl booth. We made wise and witty comments as we ate the food that felt
like home. I should have gone back there more. That restaurant stood as a
living reminder that my family had existed.
We
left, and Giara gave Ms. P. a hug. She said they would talk later, and then we
walked together through the biting chill to the Toyota. When we got inside,
Giara turned to me.
“You
tried to steal my notebook,” she said.
I
looked at the road in front of me, and glanced over to where Joe was opening
the car door for his mother.
“I…um…the
word I’d use is borrow,” I said.
“You
really thought I wouldn’t put protections on my own notebook?” she said. “How
dumb do you think I am? About as dumb as you are apparently.”
That
last sentence she mumbled as if she didn’t mean for me to hear it. I put my
hand against my hairline and looked away. My knee started jumping up and down
again. Giara took a deep breath.
“You
really don’t want me as your enemy,” she warned.
“I
only know ten runes, Giara. Ten. My mom’s notebook had ten runes on a page.”
Giara looked away and started the car. “Do you know where my mom’s notebook is
now, Giara?”
Giara
wouldn’t look at me. “No, I don’t.” She faced me, and we both knew she was
lying.
“What
am I supposed to do without it?” I looked down at my hands. My legs,
surprisingly, were still. “I’m useless. I can’t do anything helpful…” I
breathed out. “Meaningful.”
Giara
was silent for a moment. Finally she spoke. “You could have asked.”
“And
you would have taught me?” I asked incredulously.
I
had thought stealing the notebook would be my only option, but maybe I should
have just asked her for help. I’d viewed the Grandmothers as my enemies since
my family died, but maybe there was another option. My mom’s voice reminded me
that there was always a choice, if I took the time to look for one.
Giara
looked me over, as if judging my worth. I sat up taller in my seat.
“Why
not?” she said, turning back to the road.
“Teach
me,” I said. “Please Giara. Anything at all.”
“Anything?
Oh, I could teach you everything,” she said with a smile. “But first, tell me
something.”
My
stomach muscles clenched.
“This
boy, this Instinct of yours.”
I
swallowed.
“Can
he do runes?” she asked.
I
sat back in the seat in silence. They didn’t know. The Grandmothers suspected,
but they didn’t know Joe could do runes, not for sure. Maybe they weren’t my
enemy, but they were Joe’s. My heart pounded, and I didn’t know what to do,
what to say. I couldn’t lie to her, could I?
“Joe’s
a good person,” I said. “He’s obnoxious sometimes, but he… he’s used his magic
to save regular peoples’ lives. He has gotten up early and walked through snow
to shovel my sidewalk. He’s the best person I know. I… I love him. However, I
promise you if he
right. I’ve been stupid. I need to set a line for myself.”
I
looked at Giara and my mom’s face looked back at me.
“Mom,”
I said, and then because my voice cracked when I said that name I haven’t said
in too long, I started again. “Mom, I promise I won’t do anything dumb.”
Giara
reached forward and took my hand in her own. There was silence at the table, as
tears ran down my face.
“That’s
good enough for me,” she said.
Ms.
P. smiled at me; tears were in her eyes but none fell. “That’s good enough for
me too.”
We
smiled at each other; I laughed a strange explosive crying laugh, and I wiped
my face. The bell on the door rang when Joe walked back inside the restaurant.
He dropped his coat next to Giara’s purse, and then sat at the table.
“When
did the food get here?” he said as he reached for a chip.
I
shook my head and laughed.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Overall,
it was a pleasant criminal experience. Giara and Ms. P. seemed to like each
other as allies in the war against teenage promiscuity. Joe and I relaxed in
the vinyl booth. We made wise and witty comments as we ate the food that felt
like home. I should have gone back there more. That restaurant stood as a
living reminder that my family had existed.
We
left, and Giara gave Ms. P. a hug. She said they would talk later, and then we
walked together through the biting chill to the Toyota. When we got inside,
Giara turned to me.
“You
tried to steal my notebook,” she said.
I
looked at the road in front of me, and glanced over to where Joe was opening
the car door for his mother.
“I…um…the
word I’d use is borrow,” I said.
“You
really thought I wouldn’t put protections on my own notebook?” she said. “How
dumb do you think I am? About as dumb as you are apparently.”
That
last sentence she mumbled as if she didn’t mean for me to hear it. I put my
hand against my hairline and looked away. My knee started jumping up and down
again. Giara took a deep breath.
“You
really don’t want me as your enemy,” she warned.
“I
only know ten runes, Giara. Ten. My mom’s notebook had ten runes on a page.”
Giara looked away and started the car. “Do you know where my mom’s notebook is
now, Giara?”
Giara
wouldn’t look at me. “No, I don’t.” She faced me, and we both knew she was
lying.
“What
am I supposed to do without it?” I looked down at my hands. My legs,
surprisingly, were still. “I’m useless. I can’t do anything helpful…” I
breathed out. “Meaningful.”
Giara
was silent for a moment. Finally she spoke. “You could have asked.”
“And
you would have taught me?” I asked incredulously.
I
had thought stealing the notebook would be my only option, but maybe I should
have just asked her for help. I’d viewed the Grandmothers as my enemies since
my family died, but maybe there was another option. My mom’s voice reminded me
that there was always a choice, if I took the time to look for one.
Giara
looked me over, as if judging my worth. I sat up taller in my seat.
“Why
not?” she said, turning back to the road.
“Teach
me,” I said. “Please Giara. Anything at all.”
“Anything?
Oh, I could teach you everything,” she said with a smile. “But first, tell me
something.”
My
stomach muscles clenched.
“This
boy, this Instinct of yours.”
I
swallowed.
“Can
he do runes?” she asked.
I
sat back in the seat in silence. They didn’t know. The Grandmothers suspected,
but they didn’t know Joe could do runes, not for sure. Maybe they weren’t my
enemy, but they were Joe’s. My heart pounded, and I didn’t know what to do,
what to say. I couldn’t lie to her, could I?
“Joe’s
a good person,” I said. “He’s obnoxious sometimes, but he… he’s used his magic
to save regular peoples’ lives. He has gotten up early and walked through snow
to shovel my sidewalk. He’s the best person I know. I… I love him. However, I
promise you if he
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