said. "On a pretty little pillow."
"What rings?" Fudge asked.
"The wedding rings, Turkey Brain. I thought you knew all about getting married."
"All I know is you get to sleep in the same bed."
"That's the best part," Buzzy Senior said. Mom shook her head. "Really, Buzzy..."
Grandma and Buzzy Senior decided on a Saturday morning wedding so they wouldn't interfere with the Sunday ball game.
142
Every time they went to town they invited someone else. Mom said they had to tell her how many people were coming, and soon. How else could she plan the wedding barbecue?
"Oh... just figure everyone is coming,'' Grandma said.
"Everyone?" Mom said. "What does that mean?"
It meant the guy from the hardware store, the butcher from Sawyer's Market, Dorothy of Oz, and the couple from the jewelry store, who sold them their wedding rings. It meant the Ickles from the ice cream parlor, Bicycle Bob, Isobel from the library and--Mitzi, Mrs. A and Big.
Mom worried about the weather but when we woke up on Saturday morning it was clear and warm. We all helped decorate the yard. We tied pink ribbons around the swing tree and set pots of pink flowers in Fudge's garden.
Sheila and Libby showed how creative they could be by sewing beads and ribbons all over their jeans and T-shirts. At the last minute Sheila decided we should dress up our animals, too. She tied a pink satin bow around Jake's neck. Then she asked me to tie one around Turtle's.
"You do it," I said. "I'm not that good with bows."
143
"I can't do it," Sheila said.
"Why not?"
"You know..." "Because he's too smelly and disgusting for you to touch?" "He's not that smelly anymore."
"Then why can't you do it?"
Sheila took a deep breath. "All right," she said. "I'll do it. But you have to hold him still."
I think Sheila's still scared of Turtle, but now that he and Jake are going to be stepdogs, she's making an effort to get along with him. Turtle wasn't crazy about having a pink satin bow tied around his neck. He tried to eat it.
Next, Sheila decorated Uncle Feather's cage.
"Ole!" she said, snapping her fingers.
"Olay..." he answered.
The guests began to arrive at ten-thirty. Big wore his Red Sox uniform, but not his spikes. He gave Grandma and Buzzy Senior an autographed baseball for a wedding present. Mitzi brought them a bottle of monster spray, just in case. And she had one for Fudge, too. "Grandma just made it," she said, "so it's nice and fresh."
Actually, the bride and groom got a lot of interesting gifts. Matching bike helmets from Bicycle Bob. A book called How to Survive Your First Year of Marriage from Isobel.
144
A set of hand-painted rocks from Sheila and Libby. A painting called Baby Feet Go to a Wedding from Mr. Fargo. The only copy in the entire world of Tell Me a Fudge, by Farley Drexel Hatcher. And a twenty-five-foot banner from Jimmy and me. We'd been working on it all week. It said:
WHO CAN EXPLAIN IT, WHO CAN TELL YOU WHY?
MURIEL AND BUZZY
AUGUST 28
SOUTHWEST HARBOR, MAINE
Grandma and Buzzy Senior liked it a lot, even though we forgot to include the year. Grandma said it was better that way.
Just before the ceremony Fudge asked Mitzi to help him be the Ring Bear. He showed her the lace pillow with the gold wedding bands resting on it. Then he whispered something in her ear and they giggled.
The judge was the last one to arrive. She pulled up in a shiny red pickup truck, wearing her judge's robe. She looked familiar. But I couldn't remember where I'd seen her until she said, "What are you doing here, junior?" It was When in Rome.
"You're the judge?" I said.
"That's right, junior."
"My name is Peter," I told her. "Not junior. And my grandmother is the bride."
145
"Well, isn't that something!" she said. "I hope you behave yourself today."
"When in Rome..." I told her.
This time she laughed.
The ceremony began a few minutes after eleven. The bride wore a white jogging suit. She bought it at the sports store where Fudge got his mitt-sy .
"What rings?" Fudge asked.
"The wedding rings, Turkey Brain. I thought you knew all about getting married."
"All I know is you get to sleep in the same bed."
"That's the best part," Buzzy Senior said. Mom shook her head. "Really, Buzzy..."
Grandma and Buzzy Senior decided on a Saturday morning wedding so they wouldn't interfere with the Sunday ball game.
142
Every time they went to town they invited someone else. Mom said they had to tell her how many people were coming, and soon. How else could she plan the wedding barbecue?
"Oh... just figure everyone is coming,'' Grandma said.
"Everyone?" Mom said. "What does that mean?"
It meant the guy from the hardware store, the butcher from Sawyer's Market, Dorothy of Oz, and the couple from the jewelry store, who sold them their wedding rings. It meant the Ickles from the ice cream parlor, Bicycle Bob, Isobel from the library and--Mitzi, Mrs. A and Big.
Mom worried about the weather but when we woke up on Saturday morning it was clear and warm. We all helped decorate the yard. We tied pink ribbons around the swing tree and set pots of pink flowers in Fudge's garden.
Sheila and Libby showed how creative they could be by sewing beads and ribbons all over their jeans and T-shirts. At the last minute Sheila decided we should dress up our animals, too. She tied a pink satin bow around Jake's neck. Then she asked me to tie one around Turtle's.
"You do it," I said. "I'm not that good with bows."
143
"I can't do it," Sheila said.
"Why not?"
"You know..." "Because he's too smelly and disgusting for you to touch?" "He's not that smelly anymore."
"Then why can't you do it?"
Sheila took a deep breath. "All right," she said. "I'll do it. But you have to hold him still."
I think Sheila's still scared of Turtle, but now that he and Jake are going to be stepdogs, she's making an effort to get along with him. Turtle wasn't crazy about having a pink satin bow tied around his neck. He tried to eat it.
Next, Sheila decorated Uncle Feather's cage.
"Ole!" she said, snapping her fingers.
"Olay..." he answered.
The guests began to arrive at ten-thirty. Big wore his Red Sox uniform, but not his spikes. He gave Grandma and Buzzy Senior an autographed baseball for a wedding present. Mitzi brought them a bottle of monster spray, just in case. And she had one for Fudge, too. "Grandma just made it," she said, "so it's nice and fresh."
Actually, the bride and groom got a lot of interesting gifts. Matching bike helmets from Bicycle Bob. A book called How to Survive Your First Year of Marriage from Isobel.
144
A set of hand-painted rocks from Sheila and Libby. A painting called Baby Feet Go to a Wedding from Mr. Fargo. The only copy in the entire world of Tell Me a Fudge, by Farley Drexel Hatcher. And a twenty-five-foot banner from Jimmy and me. We'd been working on it all week. It said:
WHO CAN EXPLAIN IT, WHO CAN TELL YOU WHY?
MURIEL AND BUZZY
AUGUST 28
SOUTHWEST HARBOR, MAINE
Grandma and Buzzy Senior liked it a lot, even though we forgot to include the year. Grandma said it was better that way.
Just before the ceremony Fudge asked Mitzi to help him be the Ring Bear. He showed her the lace pillow with the gold wedding bands resting on it. Then he whispered something in her ear and they giggled.
The judge was the last one to arrive. She pulled up in a shiny red pickup truck, wearing her judge's robe. She looked familiar. But I couldn't remember where I'd seen her until she said, "What are you doing here, junior?" It was When in Rome.
"You're the judge?" I said.
"That's right, junior."
"My name is Peter," I told her. "Not junior. And my grandmother is the bride."
145
"Well, isn't that something!" she said. "I hope you behave yourself today."
"When in Rome..." I told her.
This time she laughed.
The ceremony began a few minutes after eleven. The bride wore a white jogging suit. She bought it at the sports store where Fudge got his mitt-sy .
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