Frosted Midnight: A Christmas Novella by Breena Wilde, !2 NAs of Christmas

 
     
     
    I was nineteen when I fell in love. It was that once in a lifetime kind of love, the kind of love that hit hard and didn’t let go, the kind where all I could do was think about him. Only him. Always him.
    The shine in h is hazel eyes and the way the corners of his eyes would crinkle when he smiled. Or the way his dark hair fell into his face when he leaned down to kiss me.
    His name was Austin Merrick. He wasn’t a boy from my quaint tourist town of Bandon, Oregon . He was a man: tall, muscled. He wore cowboy boots, jeans that sat low on his tapered hips, t-shirts, and a cowboy hat that looked older than him. He had a square jaw, straight white teeth, and a mouth that could do things to my lips and my body…
    He was my first t ime, my every time. From the moment I met him I knew I’d never have to look at another man again.
    I still didn’t know why he came to Bandon , but from the moment he walked into the library where I worked, came over to my desk, and asked for my opinion on a good book, I was a goner. Yes, it was love at first sight. And I didn’t regret it.
    He was in my lif e for eight weeks, eight flawless weeks. And then he left. Without a good-bye. Just rolled over, kissed me tenderly, walked out of my bedroom, and never came back.
    My heart broke that day, splintered into a million pieces. After that I got sick, couldn’t keep down food. Nine months later, I had a baby girl.
    Everything changed when she was born. My heart healed. Her tiny body, her sweet cries became my first real truth. Her life, her love, her needs superseded mine.
    It was strange to think in terms of another person’s life, to gauge my own merits and accomplishments based on someone else, and maybe it wasn’t right, maybe that wasn’t how I was meant to live. But I was responsible for her. Without me she would die. I knew that. Accepted it.
    I named my daughter Emma Austin after my grandmother and her father. Emma taught me what it meant to love and be loved unconditionally.
    I never told her father. He never contacted me, and I didn’t look for him. What happened to us happened all the time in tourist towns. An out-of-towner fell for a local. When summer ended, one would leave the other behind. With Austin I thought things would be different. I believed it when he told me he loved me. But that was the way summers in tourist towns went. It wasn’t his fault I believed him. It was mine.
    So, for the last five months I raised Emma on my own. Well , with the help of my mom and my three older sisters.
    Emma was spoiled rotten , which was good. My life was good. Busy. Between work at the library, taking care of Emma, and spending time at the hospital and with family, there wasn’t time for anything else.
    I n two days Emma would celebrate her first Christmas.
    I was content with the life I had. Settled even. At the ripe old age of twenty.
    A t least, that was what I believed until I received an email.
    From him.
    Austin Fucking Merrick.

 
     
     
    I read the email again.
     
    Willow,
     
    I hope this letter finds you well. It’s been a while since we’ve talked. Maybe you don’t even remember me. We met at the library a couple of summers ago. We dated, kissed, and more.
     
    Anyway, I left without saying good-bye or giving you a reason.
     
    That was wrong.
     
    You deserve an explanation.
     
    Can you meet me on Christmas Eve at midnight? At our spot on the beach. Near the caves, remember? I’d like to explain, see you again. I’ve missed you.
     
    Please say yes.
     
    Yours,
     
    Austin
     
    There were several things about the email that irritated the hell out of me. The first was the implication that I might not remember him, as though I fell in love with guys all the time or something. The second was that he emailed me out of the blue, after almost fifteen months, asking me to meet him.
    It surprised me he knew my email. I hadn’t given it to him. While we were together we hadn’t exchanged email addresses.