From The Ashes (The Knights of Mayhem Book 3) by Brook Greene Page A

mine, absorbing her.  “Where are we going?”
    “Inside.”   She sleeps as if she hasn’t slept in days, if not weeks.  I take her and lay her in the only bed in the cabin then I stand and look at her.  Why is it we’re always having a knife held to our throats and our feet to the fire?  I’m getting sick of this and plan to fix it, when and if I can. 
    After settling her away into the one bedroom, I start a fire in the main room, hoping I can flesh out the reasons of why and how I’m going to handle her being back in my life.   I sit in the old rocker, studying the licking flames, holding my whiskey and searching for answers as to what the hell I need to do to get my ass out of this mess. There’s a place in the back of my mind, telling me that we could have a shot at the life I wanted for us. She does seem different, but the blaring voice keeps reminding me of what she’s done, just as it has been for the past week.
    I’ve been trying to push her away, but I don’t have it in me to be mean, not even to her.  I’ve never been a cruel person. I can have a sharp tongue, but I always regret it later.  I know everyone is eaten up with hatred for her, as I should be, but I can’t explain why I feel mine has started to fall away to myself or anyone else.  Maybe while I’m up here I can figure it all out, because it’s all on me to do.
    “Hey.”  Her soft, smooth voice from behind me draws my eyes away from the fire.
    “Hey,”  I reply, not fully turning to see her. I know I’d lose more of my will, if not all of it.
    I can hear her move; her soft footfalls echo off the wood walls of the cabin.  She comes to a stop behind me and the feel of her small hand and fingers running through my hair has my head leaning into her soft touch.  “Is there anything to eat here?”  she asks as she continues to stroke my head.
    “We can’t do this.”
     
    Hollis
    “Then why did you bring me here? Why did you spare my life?  You could’ve put an end to it that morning in the bed.”  He stands and faces me, looking very uncomfortable with my question.  “Is that what they wanted, or was it all you?”
    His silence makes me sick to my stomach and the sheen of guilt covering his face lets me know it was all him and his need to make things even in his head.  He takes a deep breath, letting it out slowly with the admission that nearly breaks me.  “It was me. They told me to cut you loose.”  He turns his back to me, the glow of the fire lining his frame, making thoughts I shouldn’t be having of my would-be assassin dance in my head.  “Just leave it, Hollis, and don’t think any more about it.”
    Feeling the little bit of defiance that’s grown in me, I stand my ground.  “And why is that? Have you already deemed me not worthy, or you don’t want to look weak in the eyes of your brothers?”
    “Yeah, Hollis, that’s it. I don’t want to look weak.”  He takes in a deep breaths, still refusing to look at me.  Taking matters into my own hands, I reach for his forearm, trying to spin him around to me.  But the difference in our sizes becomes evident when he doesn’t move and I slam into him.  He rights me, then just as quickly, he lets me go, diverting his eyes away from me again.
    “Damn it, Roman. Talk to me, please?”  I move myself to where he has to look at me.  “That was something we never had a problem with.”
    “No, we didn’t because we had all our discussions at the same time I was fucking the hell out of you, and it only required a yes or fuck no answer.”  He moves away to the tiny kitchen, leaving me alone again.  I can see he’s fighting it—fighting us. I can feel  it in the charge of the air.
    “If you thought nothing of us, or me, then why are you here? Why did you spare me when you could’ve put everything in you to ease with the pull of that trigger?”  I’m fighting tears. I’m not sure what I’m crying for, but I know the dam is about to