lesson in basketball. "
Still , the night isn ' t forgotten that easy. I feel like a chump. Step up! Let ' s see how many people can fool Carter Shaw! One empty promise to quit and I believed Mom. And Mel. I knew something was going on , but I ignored it.
I fall back against a tree , both my hands running through my hair. I almost want to open my mouth and tell her about Mom. Just to get out the words I ' ve never spoken to anyone. I ' ve seen her drunk so many times , I can ' t figure out why this one call has me so spazzed out.
" Hey ... you okay? You look like you ' re about to puke or something. "
I open my mouth , not knowing what ' s going to come out. " I seriously think you ' re following me. You know , if you want to hang out , all you have to do is ask. "
A small laugh escapes her mouth. " Good try , but no cigar. You ' re pissed about something and I have a feeling it ' s a lot more than just your ex-girlfriend , but I ' ll play along if it makes you feel better. I was helping Travis look for you. He ' s leaving , but wanted to talk to you first. "
My body sags a little. I hadn ' t wanted her to have an excuse for finding me.
" Shaw! Where the hell are you? " drifts toward me from the house. My feet itch to run , not wanting to see him. Not wanting to see anyone right now. I feel like I ' m one step away from cracking , which I cannot do unless I ' m alone.
" Back here! " I try to make myself smile , try to push everything else away and be the Carter everyone expects me to be.
Travis comes stomping over a few seconds later. " What? Oh ..." H is eyes linger on Kira.
" Yeah , not what you ' re thinking , man. " I make myself laugh for good measure.
" Damn. I ' m sorry. " He gives a real laugh and Kira rolls her eyes. I hear her mumble something that sounds like , " boys. "
" Beer ' s almost gone here. I ' m out. We ' re going to go play some pool or something at Roger ' s house. Wanna come? "
I pass a reply back and forth in my head. Yes , no , yes , no. No wins. I can ' t be Happy Carter tonight. " Nah , I think I ' m gonna head home. You cool though? Sober driver and all? " I ask.
Travis nods. " Yeah. Roger ' s girl doesn ' t drink. She ' s driving. " He holds his fist out for a bump. " Have fun ," Travis winks. " Text me tomorrow. " Then he ' s s tumbling away again.
Kira ' s standing next to me , silent while I try to quiet the voices running around in my head. Mel and I just broke up. I was over her , but still it ' s weird. And Mom ...if she's drinking now, how can I trust her not to try it again when Sara's home?
I shake my head , hoping the thoughts will fall out. And suddenly , even though I know it ' s better , I don ' t want to be alone. " Hey . If you ' re not busy ..." Spit it out , Shaw. I shrug. " I don ' t know ... You want that basketball lesson? "
She doesn ' t complain about how it ' s almost midnight. She doesn ' t ask me again what ' s wrong or tell me the last thing she wants to do on a Friday night is play a sport she hates with a guy who ' s obviously screwed up in the head. Instead she looks at me and smiles. " Okay ... but you can ' t get mad if I beat you. "
Chapter Nine
I park the truck in the farthest parking spot a way from the street , hoping no one will notice it. " You haven ' t been drinking , have you? " I ask Kira.
" Nope. " She opens the door , making the interior light come on.
" Good . If you see a cop , still run , but if we get caught , I ' m sure we won ' t get into trouble. Hanging out in the park after curfew isn ' t as bad as being drunk and under twenty-one. "
" Great. The first time you take me out and we might get arrested. Lana ' s going to love you. " Kira slams the door after she jumps out. I scramble out of my seat behind her.
" I don ' t want your mom — "
" Guardian. "
Oops. " Sorry. Your guardian to want to kill me. Should we go? " Say no.
" No. "
Thank you!
" But I will totally blame it on you if we get caught. " She smiles , making
Still , the night isn ' t forgotten that easy. I feel like a chump. Step up! Let ' s see how many people can fool Carter Shaw! One empty promise to quit and I believed Mom. And Mel. I knew something was going on , but I ignored it.
I fall back against a tree , both my hands running through my hair. I almost want to open my mouth and tell her about Mom. Just to get out the words I ' ve never spoken to anyone. I ' ve seen her drunk so many times , I can ' t figure out why this one call has me so spazzed out.
" Hey ... you okay? You look like you ' re about to puke or something. "
I open my mouth , not knowing what ' s going to come out. " I seriously think you ' re following me. You know , if you want to hang out , all you have to do is ask. "
A small laugh escapes her mouth. " Good try , but no cigar. You ' re pissed about something and I have a feeling it ' s a lot more than just your ex-girlfriend , but I ' ll play along if it makes you feel better. I was helping Travis look for you. He ' s leaving , but wanted to talk to you first. "
My body sags a little. I hadn ' t wanted her to have an excuse for finding me.
" Shaw! Where the hell are you? " drifts toward me from the house. My feet itch to run , not wanting to see him. Not wanting to see anyone right now. I feel like I ' m one step away from cracking , which I cannot do unless I ' m alone.
" Back here! " I try to make myself smile , try to push everything else away and be the Carter everyone expects me to be.
Travis comes stomping over a few seconds later. " What? Oh ..." H is eyes linger on Kira.
" Yeah , not what you ' re thinking , man. " I make myself laugh for good measure.
" Damn. I ' m sorry. " He gives a real laugh and Kira rolls her eyes. I hear her mumble something that sounds like , " boys. "
" Beer ' s almost gone here. I ' m out. We ' re going to go play some pool or something at Roger ' s house. Wanna come? "
I pass a reply back and forth in my head. Yes , no , yes , no. No wins. I can ' t be Happy Carter tonight. " Nah , I think I ' m gonna head home. You cool though? Sober driver and all? " I ask.
Travis nods. " Yeah. Roger ' s girl doesn ' t drink. She ' s driving. " He holds his fist out for a bump. " Have fun ," Travis winks. " Text me tomorrow. " Then he ' s s tumbling away again.
Kira ' s standing next to me , silent while I try to quiet the voices running around in my head. Mel and I just broke up. I was over her , but still it ' s weird. And Mom ...if she's drinking now, how can I trust her not to try it again when Sara's home?
I shake my head , hoping the thoughts will fall out. And suddenly , even though I know it ' s better , I don ' t want to be alone. " Hey . If you ' re not busy ..." Spit it out , Shaw. I shrug. " I don ' t know ... You want that basketball lesson? "
She doesn ' t complain about how it ' s almost midnight. She doesn ' t ask me again what ' s wrong or tell me the last thing she wants to do on a Friday night is play a sport she hates with a guy who ' s obviously screwed up in the head. Instead she looks at me and smiles. " Okay ... but you can ' t get mad if I beat you. "
Chapter Nine
I park the truck in the farthest parking spot a way from the street , hoping no one will notice it. " You haven ' t been drinking , have you? " I ask Kira.
" Nope. " She opens the door , making the interior light come on.
" Good . If you see a cop , still run , but if we get caught , I ' m sure we won ' t get into trouble. Hanging out in the park after curfew isn ' t as bad as being drunk and under twenty-one. "
" Great. The first time you take me out and we might get arrested. Lana ' s going to love you. " Kira slams the door after she jumps out. I scramble out of my seat behind her.
" I don ' t want your mom — "
" Guardian. "
Oops. " Sorry. Your guardian to want to kill me. Should we go? " Say no.
" No. "
Thank you!
" But I will totally blame it on you if we get caught. " She smiles , making
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