pain. Relaxation exercises (see page 212) are useful for becoming calm before or during the appointment.
Fear of heights
Fear of heights is common and is probably left over from the instinc-tual fear we have of falling as infants. However, fear of heights is not inevitable, else there would be no mountaineers and no pilots. Being uncomfortable with heights is not a problem unless it stops you flying, living above the ground floor, or appreciating a wonderful view.
As long as your vantage point is safe (such as a balcony) then there is no real danger.
Deal with fear of heights by using some of these skills: J Use a relaxation pattern (page 212).
J Use a safety anchor and relax your body to calm the fear (page 220).
J Look and see what mental pictures you are making (usually of you falling or being whirled away into space and then falling).
J Dissociate from the pictures.
J Picture yourself enjoying the view and then enjoy it.
82
COMMON FEARS THAT HOLD US HOSTAGE
Fear of elevators
Elevators manage to combine two fears: fear of enclosed spaces and fear of heights. When I visited one of the tallest buildings in the world, I felt a little uncomfortable. We were in Hong Kong and one building on Hong Kong Island with the unexciting name of Two International Finance Centre has over 80 floors. Visitors can take a lift only to the 55th floor, but this was quite enough for me. The lift was very good: it ascended for less than a minute at a constant acceleration, so I did not feel I was moving. The view over the bay was magnificent.
Fear of elevators and heights are dealt with in exactly the same way as other fears:
J Relax (page 212).
J Use a safety anchor and relax your body to calm the fear (page 220).
J Look and see what mental pictures you are making (usually pictures of the lift plummeting out of control or the lights going out and being stuck between floors).
J Dissociate from the pictures.
J Picture yourself enjoying the ride and concentrate on where you are going to arrive rather than on the elevator ride itself.
Fear of death
As George Bernard Shaw said: “Life does not cease to be fun when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.”
Many people fear death; it is the ultimate loss—loss of life. This fear keeps us safe: it stops us taking stupid risks. Fear of death only becomes a problem if it preoccupies your thoughts or makes you anxious. Fear of death is similar to other worries about the future, but here we know that eventually it will come true. We just do not know when.
83
FREE YOURSELF FROM FEARS
One reason death has the power to frighten is that we deny it most of the time. Nearly everywhere in the world it is illegal to die of old age, the World Health Organization does not allow it. Everyone must die of a specific cause; “old age” is inadmissible on a death certificate, even though doctors know it is an adequate statement because our bodies are not exempt from the law of entropy.
Only one third of the adult population of England has made a will. It is not that the others have nothing to leave, but a will is an uncomfortable reminder of your own mortality, as if to think about death might somehow invite it. Yet making a will is common sense: it allows your affairs to be settled more quickly and in a less distressing way for friends and family. Denying death gives it the power to frighten us and means we may be unprepared.
Death is a fact of life. Everyone will die, and this is what gives life its meaning. There is a proverb: “Dream as if you will never die, but live and act to achieve your goals as if you will die tomorrow.” Our dreams should be wide and unlimited; they define the scope of our life. Then we should take action and put those dreams into reality.
Without a sense of urgency, the dreams remain just dreams. Death makes us take action. Actors cannot give a good performance if the curtain never falls, athletes cannot pace themselves without a
Fear of heights
Fear of heights is common and is probably left over from the instinc-tual fear we have of falling as infants. However, fear of heights is not inevitable, else there would be no mountaineers and no pilots. Being uncomfortable with heights is not a problem unless it stops you flying, living above the ground floor, or appreciating a wonderful view.
As long as your vantage point is safe (such as a balcony) then there is no real danger.
Deal with fear of heights by using some of these skills: J Use a relaxation pattern (page 212).
J Use a safety anchor and relax your body to calm the fear (page 220).
J Look and see what mental pictures you are making (usually of you falling or being whirled away into space and then falling).
J Dissociate from the pictures.
J Picture yourself enjoying the view and then enjoy it.
82
COMMON FEARS THAT HOLD US HOSTAGE
Fear of elevators
Elevators manage to combine two fears: fear of enclosed spaces and fear of heights. When I visited one of the tallest buildings in the world, I felt a little uncomfortable. We were in Hong Kong and one building on Hong Kong Island with the unexciting name of Two International Finance Centre has over 80 floors. Visitors can take a lift only to the 55th floor, but this was quite enough for me. The lift was very good: it ascended for less than a minute at a constant acceleration, so I did not feel I was moving. The view over the bay was magnificent.
Fear of elevators and heights are dealt with in exactly the same way as other fears:
J Relax (page 212).
J Use a safety anchor and relax your body to calm the fear (page 220).
J Look and see what mental pictures you are making (usually pictures of the lift plummeting out of control or the lights going out and being stuck between floors).
J Dissociate from the pictures.
J Picture yourself enjoying the ride and concentrate on where you are going to arrive rather than on the elevator ride itself.
Fear of death
As George Bernard Shaw said: “Life does not cease to be fun when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.”
Many people fear death; it is the ultimate loss—loss of life. This fear keeps us safe: it stops us taking stupid risks. Fear of death only becomes a problem if it preoccupies your thoughts or makes you anxious. Fear of death is similar to other worries about the future, but here we know that eventually it will come true. We just do not know when.
83
FREE YOURSELF FROM FEARS
One reason death has the power to frighten is that we deny it most of the time. Nearly everywhere in the world it is illegal to die of old age, the World Health Organization does not allow it. Everyone must die of a specific cause; “old age” is inadmissible on a death certificate, even though doctors know it is an adequate statement because our bodies are not exempt from the law of entropy.
Only one third of the adult population of England has made a will. It is not that the others have nothing to leave, but a will is an uncomfortable reminder of your own mortality, as if to think about death might somehow invite it. Yet making a will is common sense: it allows your affairs to be settled more quickly and in a less distressing way for friends and family. Denying death gives it the power to frighten us and means we may be unprepared.
Death is a fact of life. Everyone will die, and this is what gives life its meaning. There is a proverb: “Dream as if you will never die, but live and act to achieve your goals as if you will die tomorrow.” Our dreams should be wide and unlimited; they define the scope of our life. Then we should take action and put those dreams into reality.
Without a sense of urgency, the dreams remain just dreams. Death makes us take action. Actors cannot give a good performance if the curtain never falls, athletes cannot pace themselves without a
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