book, Lucas is writing something down, both of them just trying to distract themselves while I continue to think everything over.
“ Where does Kelly fit into all of this? ” I ask abruptly.
Lucas and Jonathan look up and stare at me, obviously not expecting that question right at this moment. It takes several seconds before one of them answers. “Your cousin was an angel.”
I literally fall out of my chair. My head smacks onto the tiled floor.
“ Ow.”
Jonathan and Lucas are instantly beside me, helping me up.
“ Are you okay?” Jonathan asks, worried.
“ It's just shock,” Lucas observes.
Once I've balanced myself on the chair, I shoo them away. Kelly, my Kelly was an angel? This is ...I can't... I rub the side of my face, which aches from the fall.
“ An angel,” I echo in my perfected monotone.
“ Past tense,” Jonathan explains, seemingly relieved that I've decided to talk. “It's rare, but once in a while one of us decides to become hu man. It's uncommon because it's a permanent decision, if self-made. Kelly was dissatisfied with our way of life. She wanted something else.”
“ I was related to a former angel.” More monotone.
“ It's complete coincidence that she was in your family,” Jonathan tells me. I can tell he hopes this will make me feel better.
Instead, strong emotion threatens to consume my insides. “I knew her before?”
Lucas, who hasn't moved from my side, nods carefully. “I don't exactly buy into Jonathan's belief that her being in your life was a coincidence. You two were very close. She was an angel of Death, too.”
I swallow tears, wishing I could be with Kelly right now, talk to her about this. There is regret, too, that this couldn't have happened three years ago. Maybe she'd st ill be alive... “Did she know about all of this?”
“ Yes, before she became human,” Jonathan answers softly. “It was a major part of her decision. I think when she found out about Raguel and Remiel her faith our Father was shaken. She couldn't understand wh y He would let any of that happen.” Out of nowhere, he chuckles darkly. “We're all so much more human than we believe. We don't need faith because we know, and yet we still doubt.”
So what have these cemetery visits meant? Why have I been going?
“ Where is she now?”
“ Being reborn, somewhere. She will live out the rest of mankind's existence as a human. When everyone is brought home, she will be as well. But that's eons away, and even that's dependent on whether or not we win this war. None of us 'defectors' will exist anymore if Raguel and Remiel get what they want.” Jonathan looks away, troubled.
Lucas gets up and kneels down next to me. I look down at him, at his tender expression, and my breath catches. He sweetly brushes some of my tears away.
“ I know yo u've been seeing her,” he whispers to me.
The ceiling becomes very interesting to look at. “I just...I don't know. When Jonathan saved me from the car accident, it was like just losing her all over again. I felt close to her, closer than I have for years.”
He rubs my shoulder. “Jonathan tapped into the angel inside of you. It reminded you...”
When I've collected myself, which takes longer than it should've because of Lucas' affectionate gesture, I look at him, and then Jonathan. A decision has imprinted its elf into my mind. Kelly has affirmed it. My pain at her shortened life, the compassion I feel for others' suffering, affirms it. I clear my throat. “Kelly was - is important to me. Probably the most important thing to me in this life. I love her and I will not let her be wiped out of existence.” I swallow heavily. “I'm sure I would say the same about you two, if I could remember any of it.”
Jonathan's face is pained; Lucas remains expressionless. I go on. “I love being human and I love this earth. There ar e innocent people here. This world has no idea what's going on...they're just people trying to live their lives. I
“ Where does Kelly fit into all of this? ” I ask abruptly.
Lucas and Jonathan look up and stare at me, obviously not expecting that question right at this moment. It takes several seconds before one of them answers. “Your cousin was an angel.”
I literally fall out of my chair. My head smacks onto the tiled floor.
“ Ow.”
Jonathan and Lucas are instantly beside me, helping me up.
“ Are you okay?” Jonathan asks, worried.
“ It's just shock,” Lucas observes.
Once I've balanced myself on the chair, I shoo them away. Kelly, my Kelly was an angel? This is ...I can't... I rub the side of my face, which aches from the fall.
“ An angel,” I echo in my perfected monotone.
“ Past tense,” Jonathan explains, seemingly relieved that I've decided to talk. “It's rare, but once in a while one of us decides to become hu man. It's uncommon because it's a permanent decision, if self-made. Kelly was dissatisfied with our way of life. She wanted something else.”
“ I was related to a former angel.” More monotone.
“ It's complete coincidence that she was in your family,” Jonathan tells me. I can tell he hopes this will make me feel better.
Instead, strong emotion threatens to consume my insides. “I knew her before?”
Lucas, who hasn't moved from my side, nods carefully. “I don't exactly buy into Jonathan's belief that her being in your life was a coincidence. You two were very close. She was an angel of Death, too.”
I swallow tears, wishing I could be with Kelly right now, talk to her about this. There is regret, too, that this couldn't have happened three years ago. Maybe she'd st ill be alive... “Did she know about all of this?”
“ Yes, before she became human,” Jonathan answers softly. “It was a major part of her decision. I think when she found out about Raguel and Remiel her faith our Father was shaken. She couldn't understand wh y He would let any of that happen.” Out of nowhere, he chuckles darkly. “We're all so much more human than we believe. We don't need faith because we know, and yet we still doubt.”
So what have these cemetery visits meant? Why have I been going?
“ Where is she now?”
“ Being reborn, somewhere. She will live out the rest of mankind's existence as a human. When everyone is brought home, she will be as well. But that's eons away, and even that's dependent on whether or not we win this war. None of us 'defectors' will exist anymore if Raguel and Remiel get what they want.” Jonathan looks away, troubled.
Lucas gets up and kneels down next to me. I look down at him, at his tender expression, and my breath catches. He sweetly brushes some of my tears away.
“ I know yo u've been seeing her,” he whispers to me.
The ceiling becomes very interesting to look at. “I just...I don't know. When Jonathan saved me from the car accident, it was like just losing her all over again. I felt close to her, closer than I have for years.”
He rubs my shoulder. “Jonathan tapped into the angel inside of you. It reminded you...”
When I've collected myself, which takes longer than it should've because of Lucas' affectionate gesture, I look at him, and then Jonathan. A decision has imprinted its elf into my mind. Kelly has affirmed it. My pain at her shortened life, the compassion I feel for others' suffering, affirms it. I clear my throat. “Kelly was - is important to me. Probably the most important thing to me in this life. I love her and I will not let her be wiped out of existence.” I swallow heavily. “I'm sure I would say the same about you two, if I could remember any of it.”
Jonathan's face is pained; Lucas remains expressionless. I go on. “I love being human and I love this earth. There ar e innocent people here. This world has no idea what's going on...they're just people trying to live their lives. I
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