approve of me only if I am the sum of your ideas of who I am or should be.”
Marissa’s breath caught in the back of her throat at the backhanded accusation that she was being close-minded. He couldn’t have known that it was the one thing she couldn’t bear feeling. The idea that she was being intolerant of another human being …
Human being.
She didn’t know why she reached out to touch him. All she had tried to do since that horrible fight had ended was try to get away, pu autocraticag.sh away, repel and resist. But now she reached to touch him, her fingertip restingshakily against his chest and then, a moment later her palm followed to press against his bare skin.
There. There it was. A powerful, steady heartbeat.
“A single heart … two souls. Human in almost every way, Marissa. Human and
more
,” he said as though he could read her mind. Hell, for all she knew he
was
reading her mind. Unable to check the impulse, she let her eyes drop down the length of his torso. Naked as he was he was completely exposed to any inspection she wanted to subject him to. But the minute she laid eyes on his sex she whipped her gaze back up. Oh yeah, he sure seemed human to her. And he was definitely
more
!
“I want to believe you. I-I have to believe you because if I don’t it means I’ve lost hold of reality. And at the same time everything inside me is screaming at me to push it all away. To shut it all away, because if I accept this craziness …”
“Then you must be crazy yourself. And who wants to admit that to themselves? Who wants to face the prospect that they might not be as in control of their own lives as they thought they were.”
“Yes,” she said softly. She looked back into his eyes, the sea-foam color of them so clear and sharp. And that was when she realized that he was so obviously
more
than Jackson Waverly had been. Jackson had been handsome and vital, dedicated and loyal, devoted to his work and those whose lives he held in his hands every day. She had always considered him to be intelligent, but not in an existential way. The man standing before her was everything Jackson was … and so much more. After Chico’s death he had been growing increasingly less patient, his bitterness taking its toll on him. But she realized that for the pas he scrubbed a
CHAPTER FIVE
Jackson was looking down into her face when he saw understanding blossom into her features and eyes like a drop of ink released into crystal clear water. It was understanding and, more important, it was acceptance. He knew that because her other hand lifted to touch his arm at the biceps, and for the first time she wasn’t trying to press her body and everything else away from him. He knew she wasn’t going to completely grasp all of what he had told her for some time, but at least she was now receptive to the information.
As for himself, he was more than a little confused by his own actions. True, he was only just learning about the power that Menes commanded, and of course there had been no way of preventing her from witnessing him in action. They both would have been dead if he had not shown his hand. But what baffled Jackson was why Menes had gone out of his way to make a show of protecting Marissa. He had said himself that those actions were like putting a bull’s-eye on her.
So why had he made it so obvious? And it
had
been Menes in control at that moment. Jackson’s first lesson in being host to a being as powerful as Menes was to learn when to step back and let the expert take charge of the moment, just as Menes did when in an elementonly Jackson could manage because of familiarity and experience. It was the more mundane things in life that found them more perfectly blended, and Menes assured him that would only grow and spread over time as they both continued to experience life and each other. But in spite of this Blending being supposedly finished, Jackson felt there was still much of Menes’s mind that he
Marissa’s breath caught in the back of her throat at the backhanded accusation that she was being close-minded. He couldn’t have known that it was the one thing she couldn’t bear feeling. The idea that she was being intolerant of another human being …
Human being.
She didn’t know why she reached out to touch him. All she had tried to do since that horrible fight had ended was try to get away, pu autocraticag.sh away, repel and resist. But now she reached to touch him, her fingertip restingshakily against his chest and then, a moment later her palm followed to press against his bare skin.
There. There it was. A powerful, steady heartbeat.
“A single heart … two souls. Human in almost every way, Marissa. Human and
more
,” he said as though he could read her mind. Hell, for all she knew he
was
reading her mind. Unable to check the impulse, she let her eyes drop down the length of his torso. Naked as he was he was completely exposed to any inspection she wanted to subject him to. But the minute she laid eyes on his sex she whipped her gaze back up. Oh yeah, he sure seemed human to her. And he was definitely
more
!
“I want to believe you. I-I have to believe you because if I don’t it means I’ve lost hold of reality. And at the same time everything inside me is screaming at me to push it all away. To shut it all away, because if I accept this craziness …”
“Then you must be crazy yourself. And who wants to admit that to themselves? Who wants to face the prospect that they might not be as in control of their own lives as they thought they were.”
“Yes,” she said softly. She looked back into his eyes, the sea-foam color of them so clear and sharp. And that was when she realized that he was so obviously
more
than Jackson Waverly had been. Jackson had been handsome and vital, dedicated and loyal, devoted to his work and those whose lives he held in his hands every day. She had always considered him to be intelligent, but not in an existential way. The man standing before her was everything Jackson was … and so much more. After Chico’s death he had been growing increasingly less patient, his bitterness taking its toll on him. But she realized that for the pas he scrubbed a
CHAPTER FIVE
Jackson was looking down into her face when he saw understanding blossom into her features and eyes like a drop of ink released into crystal clear water. It was understanding and, more important, it was acceptance. He knew that because her other hand lifted to touch his arm at the biceps, and for the first time she wasn’t trying to press her body and everything else away from him. He knew she wasn’t going to completely grasp all of what he had told her for some time, but at least she was now receptive to the information.
As for himself, he was more than a little confused by his own actions. True, he was only just learning about the power that Menes commanded, and of course there had been no way of preventing her from witnessing him in action. They both would have been dead if he had not shown his hand. But what baffled Jackson was why Menes had gone out of his way to make a show of protecting Marissa. He had said himself that those actions were like putting a bull’s-eye on her.
So why had he made it so obvious? And it
had
been Menes in control at that moment. Jackson’s first lesson in being host to a being as powerful as Menes was to learn when to step back and let the expert take charge of the moment, just as Menes did when in an elementonly Jackson could manage because of familiarity and experience. It was the more mundane things in life that found them more perfectly blended, and Menes assured him that would only grow and spread over time as they both continued to experience life and each other. But in spite of this Blending being supposedly finished, Jackson felt there was still much of Menes’s mind that he
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