Flip Side of the Game by Tu-Shonda L. Whitaker

cheat.”
    â€œDon’t worry about those things. As long as you keep your man happy at home, he will have no reason to stray. And who knows? Maybe one day you young ladies will find someone just as special as my booga bear!”
    Booga bear? Who is she fooling with her sad eyes and fake-ass smile? This huzzy must think I’m stupid. Please, I do believe I’ll take my red velvet cake to go.
    On the way out, I tapped Roberta on the shoulder and wished her good luck.
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    Ten minutes later, my cell phone rang. “Hello?”
    â€œWhat the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Roger said, blaring in my ear.
    â€œFuck you, Roger!”
    â€œIt wasn’t what it looked like.”
    â€œOh, no? Was I dreaming?”
    â€œNo. She heard me making reservations and she thought that I made them for her and me! What was I going to say? I had to take her. I had no choice.”
    â€œLook, this situation between us doesn’t seem to be working out.”
    â€œDon’t be like that, Vera!”
    â€œWhat did I just say?”
    â€œLet me make it up to you.”
    â€œHow is that?”
    â€œManolo is having a sale.”
    â€œShoes? You think you can make this up with shoes?”
    â€œOkay, name it. What?”
    â€œNothing! We are done! Get it? Good-bye!”
    I was pissed off, confused, and I felt guilty as hell. The truth is, I only snuck my ass to lunch because I was trying to run away from my feelings for Taj, and I only ended up running closer to him, because seeing Roger with his wife only made me want Taj even more.
    I didn’t know why I was running. I just I felt like I wanted to place my emotions on an airplane and run away with them. And where was I running to? I didn’t know, especially when all of my needs, wants, and desires pointed toward Taj. I found myself looking for Taj in everything that I did. If I bought something to eat, I got enough for the both of us. If I bought something to wear, I wondered what he’d think. If I heard something funny, I savored the humor, as if I was holding my breath, and then I exhaled when I saw him, hopped in his lap, and told him what the joke was, and he just looked at me.
    Something in his eyes smiled when I sat on his lap and lay in his arms. I felt safe, the same way I used to feel when Uncle Boy would hold my hand or take me to the park. At the same time, it was different because I outgrew Uncle Boy holding me, but I never wanted to let Taj go. I really couldn’t deal with this.
    Just then the phone rang. It was Roger.
    â€œVera,” Roger said, “don’t hang up, please. I’m really sorry about the other day. Please let me make it up to you.”
    â€œSpare me.”
    â€œLook, I fucked up, but come on, baby, just one more chance, please.”
    â€œJust this one time, Roger, but no more after this.”
    Two seconds after I said that, the doorbell rang. Roger was standing on my stoop, as if he had been sitting in front of my house waiting for me to invite him in.
    Roger tried to kiss me when he walked in the door and handed me five hundred dollars. I nicely pushed him away and gave the money back to him.
    â€œI’m cool,” I said. “I don’t want to be bothered with that anymore. Keep your money.”
    â€œCome on, baby,” he said, running his hands across my breast.
    â€œWould you get off of me?” I said, walking away and sitting on the couch.
    â€œWhat’s the problem, Vera?”
    â€œThere’s no problem. I’m just not feeling you like that.”
    â€œWhat?”
    â€œYou heard me. You know what? Go home, Roger. Don’t you have a wife and four kids? Go and see about them.”
    â€œYou never worried about my wife and kids before.”
    â€œWell, things change and people change. I don’t want to be with you anymore. I’m okay where I’m at.” I stood up and he pushed me back down, trying to climb on top