helping her to be free.
Asiza didn’t know a whole lot about marriage and getting married because she had never seen what was done in one. She’d heard a few tidbits and one of them was that each person agrees to be the husband and the wife. She hadn’t agreed to any such thing because no one had asked her. Yet – the big man Broc, was now her new master, and husband, so he said.
She was trying to get her mind – to assimilate that. It was information easier given, than it was for her to take in and accept.
What she did understand – was that if all he said was true, she was no longer, free.
She now - belonged to him.
The next question in her mind was, why? Why did knowing that, give her feelings that her burdens were finally lifted? Even if a little bit? Besides that, if she belonged to him, why did he turn his back and ride away from her? Leaving her behind to – do what? What did he want her to do? Did he want her to run off? If so, did that mean he’d be pursuing her? If she ran off, and he had to give chase, would it make him mad at her? So far, he hadn’t shown any anger towards her – not one time had he been mean.
Slowly Flower walked in the same direction Nik-Nik had gone with Broc on her back.
“Masta’ Broc?” Asiza tried the name out softly as it flowed from her lips, afterwards, to feel foolish for doing such a silly thing. With her heart starting to weigh in on it all, she felt sure she was in trouble. Troubled because she was starting to suppose – wonder – hope .
Asiza shook her head, shocked at how fast she was weakening. The whole situation was throwing a pebble in her smooth waters. She’d sassed him, hit him with a rock and told him as plain as day that she did not want him. Told him to take her in to those looking for her and even told him to go ahead and kill her if that was what he was aiming to do. She’d asked him nicely and a bit impatiently as well to stop following her. None of the above had he done.
But – he’d helped her remain free.
He’d killed for her and with her.
He had helped take slaves to where they were going to be free.
She had taken just a moment to finally give in to her mental and physical exhaustion. Only to wake up and find that he now held papers saying he was her new master, and married to her as well.
But now… he was riding away. Leaving her behind, to do what? Asiza was feeling confused when she shouldn’t be. She should just ride off and be free the way she had been for the last so many weeks.
The problem was – in her soul – that part of her soul that led her into doing things, that part - didn’t want her to ride off alone , to be free. While she could defend herself in most circumstances, see about herself, feed herself, clothe herself… she would end up being, by herself – all by herself - to die alone. Just the thought of it, made her tired – made her sad.
Then, there was also the risk of being captured - if not by those hunting for her, then by someone else. Someone who would try to hold onto her, keep her. They could be of any sort, from any various tribes still existing to white men who would be her new master.
As a woman of color, running around free had its risks.
Unable to deny that reality, left her with another option - the big man, Broc - Masta’ Broc that is. In truth, she did not mind him so much, no, not at all. At the very least he was someone she was already getting to know. Since their coming together, she spoke her mind, in her way – and not once did he strike out at her, stifle her or slap her. He knew of her deeds against other white men, yet – he stood with her. She had seen him in action, the kind of actions that could not be clearer. She knew as well what to eventually expect from him. Admittedly, he confused her, there was still a mystery to him. A nice mystery if she were to admit it. However, he did not fit in with what she knew about white men, and it was that she feared
Asiza didn’t know a whole lot about marriage and getting married because she had never seen what was done in one. She’d heard a few tidbits and one of them was that each person agrees to be the husband and the wife. She hadn’t agreed to any such thing because no one had asked her. Yet – the big man Broc, was now her new master, and husband, so he said.
She was trying to get her mind – to assimilate that. It was information easier given, than it was for her to take in and accept.
What she did understand – was that if all he said was true, she was no longer, free.
She now - belonged to him.
The next question in her mind was, why? Why did knowing that, give her feelings that her burdens were finally lifted? Even if a little bit? Besides that, if she belonged to him, why did he turn his back and ride away from her? Leaving her behind to – do what? What did he want her to do? Did he want her to run off? If so, did that mean he’d be pursuing her? If she ran off, and he had to give chase, would it make him mad at her? So far, he hadn’t shown any anger towards her – not one time had he been mean.
Slowly Flower walked in the same direction Nik-Nik had gone with Broc on her back.
“Masta’ Broc?” Asiza tried the name out softly as it flowed from her lips, afterwards, to feel foolish for doing such a silly thing. With her heart starting to weigh in on it all, she felt sure she was in trouble. Troubled because she was starting to suppose – wonder – hope .
Asiza shook her head, shocked at how fast she was weakening. The whole situation was throwing a pebble in her smooth waters. She’d sassed him, hit him with a rock and told him as plain as day that she did not want him. Told him to take her in to those looking for her and even told him to go ahead and kill her if that was what he was aiming to do. She’d asked him nicely and a bit impatiently as well to stop following her. None of the above had he done.
But – he’d helped her remain free.
He’d killed for her and with her.
He had helped take slaves to where they were going to be free.
She had taken just a moment to finally give in to her mental and physical exhaustion. Only to wake up and find that he now held papers saying he was her new master, and married to her as well.
But now… he was riding away. Leaving her behind, to do what? Asiza was feeling confused when she shouldn’t be. She should just ride off and be free the way she had been for the last so many weeks.
The problem was – in her soul – that part of her soul that led her into doing things, that part - didn’t want her to ride off alone , to be free. While she could defend herself in most circumstances, see about herself, feed herself, clothe herself… she would end up being, by herself – all by herself - to die alone. Just the thought of it, made her tired – made her sad.
Then, there was also the risk of being captured - if not by those hunting for her, then by someone else. Someone who would try to hold onto her, keep her. They could be of any sort, from any various tribes still existing to white men who would be her new master.
As a woman of color, running around free had its risks.
Unable to deny that reality, left her with another option - the big man, Broc - Masta’ Broc that is. In truth, she did not mind him so much, no, not at all. At the very least he was someone she was already getting to know. Since their coming together, she spoke her mind, in her way – and not once did he strike out at her, stifle her or slap her. He knew of her deeds against other white men, yet – he stood with her. She had seen him in action, the kind of actions that could not be clearer. She knew as well what to eventually expect from him. Admittedly, he confused her, there was still a mystery to him. A nice mystery if she were to admit it. However, he did not fit in with what she knew about white men, and it was that she feared
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