side of this straightened out.”
“That’s not it,” Jenna said decisively.
“It’s not?” I blinked with surprise.
“Nope. You just want me down there to deal with that lady cop. She scares the hell out of you, doesn’t she?”
“She’s one impressive woman,” I confessed. “But honestly, I think if push came to shove, I could probably handle Officer Hanratty on my own. Slip a Mickey Finn in her Krispy Kremes or something. I’m clever that way.”
Now it was Jenna’s turn to laugh. “Attaboy, Logan. Keep thinking like that, and you’ll have those local yokels wrapped around your finger in no time.”
I felt a sudden lurch of worry at her words. “Does that mean you’re not coming?”
“Easy, Logan. Let me look at my schedule, see what’s coming up, and maybe you’ll get a visitor.” I started to tell her how greatthat was, but she hushed me. “No promises, mind you. Five minutes from now I may decide you’re on a moonshine bender and forget the whole thing.”
“You’re not the forgetting type,” I said, and I was deadly serious. “Call me when you know what you’re doing.”
“I will,” she promised. “Find that cell phone, though. I don’t want to think about you being at the mercy of country phone wiring.”
“Yes, ma’am,” I said, and I threw her a salute across the miles.
“Miss,” she said, and she hung up on me.
“Missed indeed,” I told the phone, and I hung up myself.
nine
I drank another cup of coffee, then I dialed up my auto insurance company. Ten minutes of punching in my policy number and the pound sign followed, until I finally managed to convince the computer on the other end that I needed to talk to a human being of one sort or another.
“Good morning, how can I help you?” said the voice of the chipper young thing I finally got connected to. I told her she could help me by processing my claim for a stolen car, but all that inspired was the tap-tap-tapping of some computer keys.
“Hmm,” she said after a while. “It says here, Mr. Logan, that we haven’t received the police report on the theft.”
“I asked them to send it,” I said, thinking that I probably had done so at some point. “You mean to tell me they didn’t?”
The voice sounded a bit less perky now, and a little irritated.I could only imagine what she was thinking:
Nine thirty in the morning and already I got myself a crazy
. But she tried to keep it out of her voice. “They were supposed to give you a copy of the report, Mr. Logan, and you were supposed to send it to us. Have you done so?”
“No,” I admitted, even as I started pacing in slow circles around the kitchen. “And that would be because they didn’t give me a copy of the report.”
“Then technically,” she said, and there was just a hint of righteous indignation seasoning her words, “the car isn’t legally considered stolen, and there’s not much we can do about it.”
“But—,” I started, but she interrupted me.
“I’m sorry, sir, I can’t do anything without a police report.” No doubt about it now; her voice was shot through with smug. “Is there anything else I can help you with?”
“You have no idea,” I told her, and I hung up. “If that’s what my premiums were going for,” I said out loud, “I’ve been wasting my money for years.” No one chuckled to approve of my witticism, but no one booed, either, and that was as good as a man could hope for.
I turned to pour myself another cup of coffee, but I never made it that far. Outside, I could hear the sound of an approaching car splashing up the road, and I went to the window to see who was fool enough to try to drive in the torrent that was coming down.
The first thing Father taught me when I was learning to drive was the difference between gas and brake. The second was not to try to drive our road in the rain. In theory, the gravel was supposed to hold the road surface together, even when rain came down in solid sheets
“That’s not it,” Jenna said decisively.
“It’s not?” I blinked with surprise.
“Nope. You just want me down there to deal with that lady cop. She scares the hell out of you, doesn’t she?”
“She’s one impressive woman,” I confessed. “But honestly, I think if push came to shove, I could probably handle Officer Hanratty on my own. Slip a Mickey Finn in her Krispy Kremes or something. I’m clever that way.”
Now it was Jenna’s turn to laugh. “Attaboy, Logan. Keep thinking like that, and you’ll have those local yokels wrapped around your finger in no time.”
I felt a sudden lurch of worry at her words. “Does that mean you’re not coming?”
“Easy, Logan. Let me look at my schedule, see what’s coming up, and maybe you’ll get a visitor.” I started to tell her how greatthat was, but she hushed me. “No promises, mind you. Five minutes from now I may decide you’re on a moonshine bender and forget the whole thing.”
“You’re not the forgetting type,” I said, and I was deadly serious. “Call me when you know what you’re doing.”
“I will,” she promised. “Find that cell phone, though. I don’t want to think about you being at the mercy of country phone wiring.”
“Yes, ma’am,” I said, and I threw her a salute across the miles.
“Miss,” she said, and she hung up on me.
“Missed indeed,” I told the phone, and I hung up myself.
nine
I drank another cup of coffee, then I dialed up my auto insurance company. Ten minutes of punching in my policy number and the pound sign followed, until I finally managed to convince the computer on the other end that I needed to talk to a human being of one sort or another.
“Good morning, how can I help you?” said the voice of the chipper young thing I finally got connected to. I told her she could help me by processing my claim for a stolen car, but all that inspired was the tap-tap-tapping of some computer keys.
“Hmm,” she said after a while. “It says here, Mr. Logan, that we haven’t received the police report on the theft.”
“I asked them to send it,” I said, thinking that I probably had done so at some point. “You mean to tell me they didn’t?”
The voice sounded a bit less perky now, and a little irritated.I could only imagine what she was thinking:
Nine thirty in the morning and already I got myself a crazy
. But she tried to keep it out of her voice. “They were supposed to give you a copy of the report, Mr. Logan, and you were supposed to send it to us. Have you done so?”
“No,” I admitted, even as I started pacing in slow circles around the kitchen. “And that would be because they didn’t give me a copy of the report.”
“Then technically,” she said, and there was just a hint of righteous indignation seasoning her words, “the car isn’t legally considered stolen, and there’s not much we can do about it.”
“But—,” I started, but she interrupted me.
“I’m sorry, sir, I can’t do anything without a police report.” No doubt about it now; her voice was shot through with smug. “Is there anything else I can help you with?”
“You have no idea,” I told her, and I hung up. “If that’s what my premiums were going for,” I said out loud, “I’ve been wasting my money for years.” No one chuckled to approve of my witticism, but no one booed, either, and that was as good as a man could hope for.
I turned to pour myself another cup of coffee, but I never made it that far. Outside, I could hear the sound of an approaching car splashing up the road, and I went to the window to see who was fool enough to try to drive in the torrent that was coming down.
The first thing Father taught me when I was learning to drive was the difference between gas and brake. The second was not to try to drive our road in the rain. In theory, the gravel was supposed to hold the road surface together, even when rain came down in solid sheets
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