Finding the Blood Assassin [Lords of the Expanse 3] (Siren Publishing Allure) by Honor James

and carefully slid into the water as the heat hit all the wounds on his body at one time. Shifting about for a few moments, he found a comfortable position and slid lower into the water to let it sit just under his chin. 
    Sitting opposite him, she adjusted her feet so that one was on each side of his thigh and her legs over the top of his. Leaning back, she was watching him under lowered lashes. “Am I worth it?” The question came out of nowhere, and she looked to almost regret it as soon as it came out of her mouth. “Am I worth the pain that I cause you? The demands I am placing on us being together. The frustration you likely feel anytime you see me because you want to throttle me for saving you that first time? Am I worth it?”
    His lips twitched slightly at her words because, and he’d never admit it, he had wanted to throttle her or strip her and show her who was boss. Of course, that he was still a little fuzzy on as well, but the thought did pop up relatively clear. Holding out a hand, he took hers and pulled her to him so she was straddling his lap. Kissing her chin, he nodded. “Yes, Jamison, I think you are worth all that and so much more.” He, on the other hand, wasn’t worth the air he breathed. Or so his delightfully warm and fuzzy mother had drummed into his head from the moment he’d first opened his eyes. “You don’t cause me pain,” he murmured, closing his eyes as he held her to him. “But I seem to continuously hurt you.”
    “You don’t hurt me, Raven.” She held onto him tightly as she whispered, her voice soft and soothing. “You don’t hurt me, my love. I do that all on my own. I expect more of you than you can give, that’s on me, not you.” Her hands gently stroked over his shoulders as she rubbed her cheek to his shoulder. “I will forever love you, Raven, I will keep showing you that I do and I will never leave you, and I hope that one day you will realize just how worthy that you really are of my love.”
    “I hope so, too,” he whispered back, not sure if she’d hear and hoping she wouldn’t since it was the little boy inside whispering its need to be loved for the world to hear. Closing his eyes as he felt perilously close to tears, Raven breathed her in, using her scent as an anchor for his rattled senses. What scared him the most was that, though it was still small and fragile, he really was beginning to believe she could love him, that she did love him, and that she always would. But what had terror lancing through his veins was the feeling that she was important to him and that he might just be starting to reciprocate those feelings of love.
    She lay there in his arms for a long while until finally, she pulled back and whispered. “I hate to break this moment, Raven, but you and I are both so tired. We need to pull ourselves out of here, get dried, and in bed.” There was a moment’s pause before she added, “Will you sleep with me, Raven, please?”
    He was so tired he didn’t think to guard his words. “Where the hell else would I be sleeping?” he asked in a grumbling tone, and then a brain cell sparked to life. “Unless you’d rather I sleep in one of the spare rooms,” he said softly. He was aware that she may not want him anywhere near her since he couldn’t seem to give her what she wanted and needed.
    “Don’t even go there,” she grumbled and shook her head. “I want to sleep with you. I want to be able to go to sleep in your arms and wake there as well.” She chewed her lip a moment before saying in a little voice that cut him deep, “I feel safe when you’re holding me, Raven. I don’t want to lose that feeling.”
    “Really?” he asked, his shock showing clearly in his stunned tone of voice. Blinking, he looked at her as she nodded. “I don’t think anyone’s ever said that to me,” he admitted quietly as he tried to process the idea she actually felt safe with him. Hugging her to him for a moment, he took her hands. “Up,”