forever since I've seen you, other than the coming
and goings of our regular day."
The timer
went off which meant the bread was done. I pulled it out, sliced it and started
to make the plates. I walked over with them both placing one in front of her
and taking a seat myself. And that's when I lost it.
"Heather,
what have I done? If it’s that I haven't been able to be here for you, then
that makes me feel like the worst friend of all. You have been there for me
through everything I had to put up with James, me trying to get past it, well
you know, it was a whole lot of shit. But now, I feel like you won't let me return
the favor."
"Oh
Sadie, that's not it at all. It’s just all been one big cluster fuck. Do you
remember the morning after everything happened when Jason was here? Well, at
first he was all like, Heather, I'm so sorry I overreacted, I'm so glad to hear
that nothing happened, I love you and I want to make this work. He even told me
about the ring! Then at the hospital he told me police had been to his house
and wanted him to come in for questioning. Now he's blaming me for everything
again. You know his brother, Tony, is a lawyer, right?" I shook my head
and then she continued, "Well he is, and he went to law school with the
prosecuting attorney. He's trying to pull every string he can to get them to
drop the charges. Right now Tony is saying that they will allow it all to fall
on Shawn. Meaning, if he doesn't want them to pursue it, it could all go away.
But that's where it’s really fucked up. Am I a terrible person for feeling like
Shawn has every right to press charges? Jason went fucking crazy on him, Sadie!
I'm not even sure I trust his temper after watching him that night. He was
crazy!"
Holy shit!
She has been in the middle of a sand storm all by herself.
"Heather,
you are an amazing person, don't question that. This is fucking crazy. I'm not
sure what Shawn will decide, but leave it up to Shawn. Jason did that to him,
not you. I can see where Jason could scare you. You know full well I don't like
tempers. That part is your decision. But Jason has never given off the vibe
that he could be abusive to me. After James, I trusted men about a far as I
could throw them. Mike, Jason, Dave, Bryan, and Shawn, they all made me feel
safe, not scared. That's why I pretty much wrapped myself around them. But you
have to go with your gut."
"That
is, if Jason will ever get over me not telling him to begin with. He says if I
was honest to begin with, none of this would have ever happened and I agree
with that. "
"Bull
shit! If you would have said that you slept with Shawn, because that's what you
convinced yourself must have happened back then, he would have tracked him down
and done the exact same thing. You didn’t want to lose him. That's why you
didn't say anything. I would have probably done the same thing."
"It all
still makes me feel awful. Shawn gets to have his wires removed next week. It’s
been great to at least be able to communicate by paper, I just can't wait for him to look like him again."
"Me
either. Heather, I'm so glad we finally got to talk about this. It makes me
feel better about you not doing this by yourself."
"Believe
me, Sadie; it feels a lot better talking to someone finally. You are the best
friend I have. Don't blame any of this on yourself for me not telling you. I
just needed time."
I got up and
hugged her. I love this girl something fierce. After dinner we cleaned up and
decided to chill back and watch some TV. We hadn't caught up on the Housewives
of New Jersey in forever together. It was pretty damn funny watching those
women, who are supposed to be ladies, act like little spoiled brats. DVR
recorders are the shit. It allowed us to catch up on old seasons in their
entirety. I think it was about three season’s worth of shows before we were
ready to call it a night. There is definitely something to be said about your
best friend being your
and goings of our regular day."
The timer
went off which meant the bread was done. I pulled it out, sliced it and started
to make the plates. I walked over with them both placing one in front of her
and taking a seat myself. And that's when I lost it.
"Heather,
what have I done? If it’s that I haven't been able to be here for you, then
that makes me feel like the worst friend of all. You have been there for me
through everything I had to put up with James, me trying to get past it, well
you know, it was a whole lot of shit. But now, I feel like you won't let me return
the favor."
"Oh
Sadie, that's not it at all. It’s just all been one big cluster fuck. Do you
remember the morning after everything happened when Jason was here? Well, at
first he was all like, Heather, I'm so sorry I overreacted, I'm so glad to hear
that nothing happened, I love you and I want to make this work. He even told me
about the ring! Then at the hospital he told me police had been to his house
and wanted him to come in for questioning. Now he's blaming me for everything
again. You know his brother, Tony, is a lawyer, right?" I shook my head
and then she continued, "Well he is, and he went to law school with the
prosecuting attorney. He's trying to pull every string he can to get them to
drop the charges. Right now Tony is saying that they will allow it all to fall
on Shawn. Meaning, if he doesn't want them to pursue it, it could all go away.
But that's where it’s really fucked up. Am I a terrible person for feeling like
Shawn has every right to press charges? Jason went fucking crazy on him, Sadie!
I'm not even sure I trust his temper after watching him that night. He was
crazy!"
Holy shit!
She has been in the middle of a sand storm all by herself.
"Heather,
you are an amazing person, don't question that. This is fucking crazy. I'm not
sure what Shawn will decide, but leave it up to Shawn. Jason did that to him,
not you. I can see where Jason could scare you. You know full well I don't like
tempers. That part is your decision. But Jason has never given off the vibe
that he could be abusive to me. After James, I trusted men about a far as I
could throw them. Mike, Jason, Dave, Bryan, and Shawn, they all made me feel
safe, not scared. That's why I pretty much wrapped myself around them. But you
have to go with your gut."
"That
is, if Jason will ever get over me not telling him to begin with. He says if I
was honest to begin with, none of this would have ever happened and I agree
with that. "
"Bull
shit! If you would have said that you slept with Shawn, because that's what you
convinced yourself must have happened back then, he would have tracked him down
and done the exact same thing. You didn’t want to lose him. That's why you
didn't say anything. I would have probably done the same thing."
"It all
still makes me feel awful. Shawn gets to have his wires removed next week. It’s
been great to at least be able to communicate by paper, I just can't wait for him to look like him again."
"Me
either. Heather, I'm so glad we finally got to talk about this. It makes me
feel better about you not doing this by yourself."
"Believe
me, Sadie; it feels a lot better talking to someone finally. You are the best
friend I have. Don't blame any of this on yourself for me not telling you. I
just needed time."
I got up and
hugged her. I love this girl something fierce. After dinner we cleaned up and
decided to chill back and watch some TV. We hadn't caught up on the Housewives
of New Jersey in forever together. It was pretty damn funny watching those
women, who are supposed to be ladies, act like little spoiled brats. DVR
recorders are the shit. It allowed us to catch up on old seasons in their
entirety. I think it was about three season’s worth of shows before we were
ready to call it a night. There is definitely something to be said about your
best friend being your
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