through Dane’s left such a longing in Gray’s soul that he actually had to tear his eyes away. How many times had he been sitting next to Luke in the last week and wished he could touch him like that? Whether they were watching TV or sitting on their log by the creek, Gray always found himself wanting just a little more than just the quiet strength that Luke exuded.
“So yeah, I have cancer,” Gray finally said since neither man seemed capable of speech. “God, that’s the first time I’ve said that out loud,” he said softly as he bounced Emma on his knee.
Dane managed to recover first. “How long?”
“I was diagnosed a couple of months ago. Testicular cancer,” he added. “It’s spread but my doctors are hopeful that chemo will do the trick.”
“What can we do, Gray?” Jax asked. The question came as a surprise since he’d expected to get the third degree about not telling them sooner.
“I’m good right now, but I’ll let you know.” He shifted his gaze to Dane. “Thank you for what you did. Luke told me what you risked...I didn’t even realize how bad it had gotten.”
“I’m glad he was there,” Dane said. “Dehydration can get really bad, really fast.”
Gray nodded. He had no doubt that Luke had likely saved his life because he’d been too out of it to realize the danger he’d been in.
“Do you need any more saline?” Dane asked.
“No, I don’t think so. I had a treatment a couple of days ago and the fluids helped me get back on my feet pretty quickly. Luke also found some foods and drinks that I can tolerate. I have one more treatment next week and I think he said you gave him enough to get me through that.”
“Do you need a ride to your treatment?” Jax asked.
Gray shook his head. “Luke is taking me.” It was something he and Luke had argued about especially since Luke had insisted on accompanying him into the hospital for the actual treatment. Even with the private room and limited staff treating him, Gray had still been on edge the entire time that someone would recognize Luke. Not that there’d be any reason that they would since Gray had been monitoring the headlines and hadn’t seen any stories about a man fitting Luke’s description. He’d been tempted on more than one occasion to do an Internet search on Luke’s name and Fort Benning where Luke was stationed to see what came up but it had been a line he just didn’t want to cross. He trusted Luke and wanted the man to trust him.
Gray shifted his eyes to Jax and said, “I owe you an apology.”
Jax was caught off guard by the statement.
“I never meant to come between you and Dane,” he said softly.
“Gray-” Dane began to say but he saw Jax tighten his hold on Dane’s hand and Dane fell silent.
“We’re good, Gray. Jealousy wasn’t a great color on me.”
He knew Jax was letting him off easy considering how he’d goaded the man on more than one occasion so he just nodded.
“So Luke is still staying with you?” Jax ventured, his unasked question clear as day.
“Just till he gets back on his feet. He’s kind of starting over,” Gray hedged. It was as close to the truth as he was going to be able to get. “We’re not…we’re not what I made you believe we were a couple of weeks ago. We’re just friends.”
He saw Dane and Jax look at each other briefly. “Gray, what I saw the other day when he came here wasn’t just about friendship,” Dane said.
Gray’s heart seized up but he quickly dismissed the wayward emotion. “He’s straight, Dane. He’s just a really good guy, that’s all.”
Dane looked like he wanted to say something else but Gray didn’t have the emotional strength to deal with arguing over something that just wasn’t going to happen. Even if by some miracle Luke’s interest in him did straddle the line between friendship and something else, what the hell did Gray have to offer? He was a shell of a man with an uncertain future. And that didn’t even
“So yeah, I have cancer,” Gray finally said since neither man seemed capable of speech. “God, that’s the first time I’ve said that out loud,” he said softly as he bounced Emma on his knee.
Dane managed to recover first. “How long?”
“I was diagnosed a couple of months ago. Testicular cancer,” he added. “It’s spread but my doctors are hopeful that chemo will do the trick.”
“What can we do, Gray?” Jax asked. The question came as a surprise since he’d expected to get the third degree about not telling them sooner.
“I’m good right now, but I’ll let you know.” He shifted his gaze to Dane. “Thank you for what you did. Luke told me what you risked...I didn’t even realize how bad it had gotten.”
“I’m glad he was there,” Dane said. “Dehydration can get really bad, really fast.”
Gray nodded. He had no doubt that Luke had likely saved his life because he’d been too out of it to realize the danger he’d been in.
“Do you need any more saline?” Dane asked.
“No, I don’t think so. I had a treatment a couple of days ago and the fluids helped me get back on my feet pretty quickly. Luke also found some foods and drinks that I can tolerate. I have one more treatment next week and I think he said you gave him enough to get me through that.”
“Do you need a ride to your treatment?” Jax asked.
Gray shook his head. “Luke is taking me.” It was something he and Luke had argued about especially since Luke had insisted on accompanying him into the hospital for the actual treatment. Even with the private room and limited staff treating him, Gray had still been on edge the entire time that someone would recognize Luke. Not that there’d be any reason that they would since Gray had been monitoring the headlines and hadn’t seen any stories about a man fitting Luke’s description. He’d been tempted on more than one occasion to do an Internet search on Luke’s name and Fort Benning where Luke was stationed to see what came up but it had been a line he just didn’t want to cross. He trusted Luke and wanted the man to trust him.
Gray shifted his eyes to Jax and said, “I owe you an apology.”
Jax was caught off guard by the statement.
“I never meant to come between you and Dane,” he said softly.
“Gray-” Dane began to say but he saw Jax tighten his hold on Dane’s hand and Dane fell silent.
“We’re good, Gray. Jealousy wasn’t a great color on me.”
He knew Jax was letting him off easy considering how he’d goaded the man on more than one occasion so he just nodded.
“So Luke is still staying with you?” Jax ventured, his unasked question clear as day.
“Just till he gets back on his feet. He’s kind of starting over,” Gray hedged. It was as close to the truth as he was going to be able to get. “We’re not…we’re not what I made you believe we were a couple of weeks ago. We’re just friends.”
He saw Dane and Jax look at each other briefly. “Gray, what I saw the other day when he came here wasn’t just about friendship,” Dane said.
Gray’s heart seized up but he quickly dismissed the wayward emotion. “He’s straight, Dane. He’s just a really good guy, that’s all.”
Dane looked like he wanted to say something else but Gray didn’t have the emotional strength to deal with arguing over something that just wasn’t going to happen. Even if by some miracle Luke’s interest in him did straddle the line between friendship and something else, what the hell did Gray have to offer? He was a shell of a man with an uncertain future. And that didn’t even
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