Finding Her Way
the farthest side of the kitchen, putting distance between them, cutting vegetables on the middle island. As if a light switch turned on in her head, she remembered where, she had seen the outfit.
    Jerrica spoke first. “Did you bring your blazer?”
    Confusion crossed Devin’s face. “Sorry, I don’t understand.”
    Still chopping vegetables, Jerrica continued. “I’ve seen you wearing that in your office. I’m asking if you have your blazer to complete your ensemble.”
    Devin answered the question in a dull tone, “Actually, yes. It’s in my suitcase.”
    “Need to look all business when you see mommy and daddy?” Bitterness was evident in her voice.
    “Are you staying,” Devin asked, noticing all the cut vegetables.
    “Not that it is any of your business, but yes. I’m not ready to face anyone so soon after this weekend.”
    “Jerrica, please, I don’t want to end our weekend like this,” Devin’s voice was trembling.
    Tears started to form in Jerrica’s eyes. One tear bravely escaped and tumbled down her cheek. Jerrica whispered.
    “Devin, this is not only the end of our weekend but it’s the end of us. I can’t do the lying and sneaking around thing. It took me a long time to get to where I am today. I am proud of the person I’ve become and I will not hide for you or for anyone ever again. I don’t trust you and if I can’t trust you, then there is no reason for us to be together.”
    Devin gazed down at her hands that now rested on the counter top. Her heart was broken. “Don’t do this, please. Jerrica, you don’t understand? My life is complicated …well my….”
    For a brief second Jerrica wanted to console her because she recognized the inner torment of what she was going through. She had traveled part of this road herself in discovery of her truth. However, she also knew that if Devin wanted to change, she would have to do it on her own and for herself.
    Jerrica set down the knife, staring at the cutting board. Taking a deep breath and holding onto the edge of the counter, she uttered the last words she would say to Devin that weekend.
    “I have always been up front with you, Devin, of who I am and how I feel. It kills me to admit this now, but I do love you…if you’re not willing to fight for us then at least fight for yourself. My love for you is not strong enough to fight this battle alone. I can’t and I won’t pretend I’m someone I’m not.”  
    Devin stepped back as if wanting to say something or anything that would make this situation right between them but nothing materialized. Devin’s phone rang, breaking the silence. Retrieving it from her pocket, she tapped it. “Hello. Yes, I’m ready, five minutes, that’s fine. I’ll be waiting,” she said into the phone.
    Finished, she slid it back into her pocket. They stood in silence for what seemed like eternity. Devin looked up at Jerrica “Jerrica, I’m sorry. I care for you more than I’ve cared for anyone else. I’m sorry that it has come to this. I wish things were different but….”
    Devin broke off as she saw a fresh flow of tears streaming down Jerrica’s face.
    Devin rushed around the kitchen island toward Jerrica. As she reached out for her, a car horn pierced the stillness and she froze in mid-stride. She let her arms fall to her side. The driver had arrived. Jerrica wouldn’t even look at her. She just stared at the counter while the tears continuously fell.
    Devin shifted backward as the horn sounded again. Not knowing what to say, Devin retreated to the front door. Once opened, the driver stepped in, picked up her luggage, and then disappeared outside. Devin stood in the doorway ready to leave. She could hear the soft sobs coming from the kitchen. Turning her head, she saw Jerrica’s tear stained face.
    “I’m sorry,” she said.
    Through tear-filled eyes, Jerrica watched the car pull away. Even though the car windows were tinted, Jerrica could tell that Devin wasn’t looking back. Jerrica

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