Finding Alana by Meg Farrell

do. So what do you have planned for today?”
                  He shrugs. “I left my weekend wide open. You decide.”
                  I gape. “You mean we have the whole weekend together?”
                  “If that’s what you want. Of course, if you want to send me packing, you can do that, too.”
                  I think it over and decide I really like the idea of actually getting to know him. “Let’s do something fun. You decide what we do with the day, and I’ll decide what we do tonight.”
                  His face seems perplexed, but very much onboard with this deal. “Okay. What do you have in mind for tonight?”
                  Grinning ear-to-ear, I lean forward and tell him about Kate’s roller derby bout and suggest we go. “It’s hella fun! Plus, they have beer and food trucks.”
                  He thinks for a moment, and it takes him so long I start to think he’s not okay with this idea. Finally, he says, “Okay a night of beer and debauchery it is. So for the day, we do something outdoors to earn our beer and nachos.”
                  “Keep talking. What do you have in mind?”
                  “We’re going to Cameron’s family cabin near Jackson. They have land, and I can show you the trails we used to hike when we were growing up.”
                  It sounds amazing. The win is spending the day with Justin. Maybe he’ll tell me why he’s not a cop anymore. I mean, I didn’t even know you could quit that profession. I’ve always thought it was the kind of career that ran in your blood. Once a cop, always a cop, right? Not knowing that bugs me.
                  “It’s a date. First up, showers!”
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                  A couple hours later, we’re parking his truck in front of the cabin. It’s tiny; probably only a one bedroom and one bathroom. We packed a cooler with some lunch and drinks because Justin wasn’t sure if Cameron or his parents have the cabin stocked right now. Justin pulls the key out of fake rock and opens the door. I didn’t initially notice the rock because it was under a bush by the front steps. After the ride, we decide to start by relaxing and catching our breath.
                  Justin sits on the couch with one leg up and one leg on the floor. I slide my jacket off and take a seat between his legs. Laying my head on his chest, he wraps his arms around me then kisses me on the head. I close my eyes and just enjoy the moment. Sitting in the silence with him is so necessary. I can start to appreciate the rhythm of his breathing and the timing of his heartbeat. My brain notes how his heartbeat coincides with my own. Not on the same timing, but complimentary.
    I think he starts to notice, too. Before we get so settled we forget about our hike, he says, “All right. Time to go. We’ll stay here forever if we don’t move.” I agree with him because the longer we sit here like this, the more I think about what else we could be doing. Amazing things—that’s what we could be doing.
    We both stand, put on our jackets, and then walk out the front door. He reaches for my hand as we descend the front steps. Hiking into the woods right by the driveway, we make it two hundred yards away when he says, “So, what is it you want to know?”
    I clear my throat. “Why aren’t you a cop anymore?”
    “Wow. You get right to it, don’t you? Being a cop was the only thing I ever wanted to do with my life. I was the one who did all the research and figured out how I could get both of us into the academy. Dude, we worked so hard. Cameron was always a thin kid, but he was never very athletic. We had to work hard and train every day so he could pass the physical part of the academy. The good thing was that we balanced each other, as we had for our whole lives. I could help him