option. – Mark Twain
The interview begins.
“May I call you Beatrice?”
“No. You may call me Bea.”
“All right. Bea, as you can see, this NDA has been signed by me.”
“Would you like more tea?”
“Thank you, no, and touché, my sweetpea. I do have a question about the ground rules before we begin.”
“Yes?”
“It’s odd not being able to look you in the eyes. Where shall I look?”
“How about at my lips.”
Bea sensually licks her glistening red lips. I melt.
“Holy shit.”
“What did you say?” Bea asks as she leans forward.
“Um, sorry.” I can’t believe I just swore in front of the most influential woman in the county.
“I have this thing about swear words.”
“I apologize. I won’t let it happen again.”
“Why? I didn’t say it’s a bad thing, did I?”
“Huh?” Sexy and strange.
“Look, Silver, although I don’t use swear words, I’m not your typical lady. When a lover uses coarse language it makes me damp down there.”
“That’s fucking hot!” I try my luck.
“You’re not a lover, Silver... not yet.”
Yet?
“OK, I know you’re a busy woman, so let’s begin.”
I wriggle uncomfortably in my chair, pull my reading glasses from my shirt collar, slide them to the base of my nose, and flip open my legal pad.
“Don’t do that.”
“Bea, I can’t see the questions I’ve prepared without my glasses.”
“Don’t touch your nose.”
“What?” I do it again.
“Stop. I’m warning you, Silver.”
“Does it gross you out? Sorry.”
“No, it turns me on.”
“My nose?” Well, that’s a first.
“No, the act of touching it.”
“Do you want to touch my nose?” What a goddamned freak!
“What? No.”
“I’m sorry. Have I missed something obvious?”
“You don’t understand my world. It’s nothing you’ve ever been exposed to. I have certain needs and fetishes, and I can’t expect you to comprehend them.”
“Nose fetishes?”
“That’s one. I’ll try to explain it to you, but you’re not writing about this. Agreed?”
“Agreed.” I slowly scratch the tip of my nose.
“Oh, my god! Please stop.”
“Either tell me or I’ll do it again.”
“Your nose reminds me of my big beefy clitoris and when you touch it, it’s like you’re touching me.”
“There’s no fucking way your clit is as big as my Italian schnoz.” I exclaim as I pinch the tip.
Bea slaps her hands on the top of her desk, stands, and glares at me.
“You just used the F-word again.”
“Bet your kinky fucking ass I did.”
She flies over the table, knocking the chair and me over. She’s on top of me in full mount (as they say in MMA). I’m instantly erect as she balls my shirt in each fist.
“You’re going to hockey bang me right here, right now, Silver, or I’m going to yell rape and have my assistant beat you to a bloody puddle.”
“Hockey bang?”
Chapter Three
The idea of using Viagra at my age is like erecting a brand-new flagpole in front of a condemned building. – Harvey Korman
“Did I s-s-stutter?”
“No, but I don’t recall what a hockey bang is ... and you scratched me. I think my nipple is bleeding.”
“Don’t be a baby. You call yourself a fan, Silver? Get up.”
Bea climbs off me. I stand; my jeans are uncomfortably tight with the recent addition of blood to the area. My nipple smarts, but I don’t want to rub it, as that would be extra creepy. Bea turns away from me and reaches over her desk toward her speakerphone. This exposes her underwear, which feature the Montreal Canadiens logo. Hmm, this crazy chick really is a fan. I prefer orange and black panties, but this will do. Bea removes the receiver and presses a button.
*Beep*
“What’s with the phone, Sugarbone?”
“You have two minutes,” she informs me as she shoves me backward.
“Hey, play nice!”
“Pansy.”
“Fucking psycho.”
“What did you call me?” she grabs the sleeves of my T-shirt and yanks.
“So,
The interview begins.
“May I call you Beatrice?”
“No. You may call me Bea.”
“All right. Bea, as you can see, this NDA has been signed by me.”
“Would you like more tea?”
“Thank you, no, and touché, my sweetpea. I do have a question about the ground rules before we begin.”
“Yes?”
“It’s odd not being able to look you in the eyes. Where shall I look?”
“How about at my lips.”
Bea sensually licks her glistening red lips. I melt.
“Holy shit.”
“What did you say?” Bea asks as she leans forward.
“Um, sorry.” I can’t believe I just swore in front of the most influential woman in the county.
“I have this thing about swear words.”
“I apologize. I won’t let it happen again.”
“Why? I didn’t say it’s a bad thing, did I?”
“Huh?” Sexy and strange.
“Look, Silver, although I don’t use swear words, I’m not your typical lady. When a lover uses coarse language it makes me damp down there.”
“That’s fucking hot!” I try my luck.
“You’re not a lover, Silver... not yet.”
Yet?
“OK, I know you’re a busy woman, so let’s begin.”
I wriggle uncomfortably in my chair, pull my reading glasses from my shirt collar, slide them to the base of my nose, and flip open my legal pad.
“Don’t do that.”
“Bea, I can’t see the questions I’ve prepared without my glasses.”
“Don’t touch your nose.”
“What?” I do it again.
“Stop. I’m warning you, Silver.”
“Does it gross you out? Sorry.”
“No, it turns me on.”
“My nose?” Well, that’s a first.
“No, the act of touching it.”
“Do you want to touch my nose?” What a goddamned freak!
“What? No.”
“I’m sorry. Have I missed something obvious?”
“You don’t understand my world. It’s nothing you’ve ever been exposed to. I have certain needs and fetishes, and I can’t expect you to comprehend them.”
“Nose fetishes?”
“That’s one. I’ll try to explain it to you, but you’re not writing about this. Agreed?”
“Agreed.” I slowly scratch the tip of my nose.
“Oh, my god! Please stop.”
“Either tell me or I’ll do it again.”
“Your nose reminds me of my big beefy clitoris and when you touch it, it’s like you’re touching me.”
“There’s no fucking way your clit is as big as my Italian schnoz.” I exclaim as I pinch the tip.
Bea slaps her hands on the top of her desk, stands, and glares at me.
“You just used the F-word again.”
“Bet your kinky fucking ass I did.”
She flies over the table, knocking the chair and me over. She’s on top of me in full mount (as they say in MMA). I’m instantly erect as she balls my shirt in each fist.
“You’re going to hockey bang me right here, right now, Silver, or I’m going to yell rape and have my assistant beat you to a bloody puddle.”
“Hockey bang?”
Chapter Three
The idea of using Viagra at my age is like erecting a brand-new flagpole in front of a condemned building. – Harvey Korman
“Did I s-s-stutter?”
“No, but I don’t recall what a hockey bang is ... and you scratched me. I think my nipple is bleeding.”
“Don’t be a baby. You call yourself a fan, Silver? Get up.”
Bea climbs off me. I stand; my jeans are uncomfortably tight with the recent addition of blood to the area. My nipple smarts, but I don’t want to rub it, as that would be extra creepy. Bea turns away from me and reaches over her desk toward her speakerphone. This exposes her underwear, which feature the Montreal Canadiens logo. Hmm, this crazy chick really is a fan. I prefer orange and black panties, but this will do. Bea removes the receiver and presses a button.
*Beep*
“What’s with the phone, Sugarbone?”
“You have two minutes,” she informs me as she shoves me backward.
“Hey, play nice!”
“Pansy.”
“Fucking psycho.”
“What did you call me?” she grabs the sleeves of my T-shirt and yanks.
“So,
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