eyes tight as Daddy continued to kiss her head and stroke her face. They looked into each other’s eyes for what felt like a really long time before Daddy let her go and looked down to the bundle wrapped in pink.
“She’s pretty Mom,” I said, looking at my new sister sleeping in Mommy’s arms.
“She’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen,” said Daddy, “next to your mother James.”
Daddy kissed the baby very softly on her head. “What should we name her?”
Mommy’s eye lids blinked fast. I’m not sure why I noticed that. Sometimes when people moved fast, it became slow motion in my head. Like my brain had to pay attention to the details. I knew I was a bit different to most little boys. The way the world moved around me scared me sometimes. The speed that things moved did not seem normal.
“I was thinking Margot. It means ‘pearl’ in French. A beautiful little pearl. She has fair hair like you and blue eyes like the sea. Seems to fit, don’t you think?”
Daddy pat the baby’s head. “Yes, it certainly does. Margot...” he said slowly. “I love it.”
“And Delia for her second name.”
Daddy’s eyes flicked open really wide at Mommy.
“Margot Delia White. What do you think?”
“It’s perfect. Just perfect.” Daddy kissed the baby’s head once more. “Can I hold her?”
Mommy slowly handed the baby over to Daddy who cradled Margot in his arms. He started walking around the room, whispering into her little baby ears. Daddy looked so happy. Peaceful. I smiled.
Mommy’s hand was then on my head. “Climb up onto the bed next to me James.” I did what I was told, but to be honest, I wanted to get into bed next to Mommy the moment I walked into the room. She pulled me close so I was nestled next to her under her shoulder like I was a baby bird under her wing.
“Has he said anything about last night?” my Mom asked out loud, but not to me.
Daddy shook his head. “He says he can’t remember anything about what happened. Nothing at all.”
Mommy made a ‘mmm’ sound. “Do you think he’s in shock? Maybe we should get a doctor to look him over.”
“I was thinking the same thing too,” Daddy said staring at me worried again.
Mommy put her finger on my chin and turned my head so I could see her eyes. “James, sweetheart...are you okay? What do you remember about last night? It’s important that you tell Mommy and Daddy everything that you remember. It’s so we can help you.”
I looked at Mom, not able to say anything. I tried again to think about last night, but all I saw was black. Nothing more. “Am I in trouble?” The way they both looked at made me think that something was wrong. That ‘I’ did something wrong.
“You’re not in trouble sweetie. Mommy and Daddy just need to know what you remember...it’s very important that you tell us.”
“Mommy, I can’t remember anything. I’m sorry,” I said, looking down.
“Don’t be sorry sweetheart.” She hugged me tight against her ribs.
Daddy spoke from across the room. “It makes sense he’s blocked it out. With what he saw, it’s more than his little mind can probably cope with. I’m sure he doesn’t understand what happened...or what he did...”
“Do you really think he...” Mommy’s voice trailed off, not finishing what she was going to say.
“I honestly don’t know...I couldn’t see straight when it happened...”
Mommy pat my hair as I leaned against her. “And what happens when he remembers? What do we say to him? What do we do?”
I didn’t know what Mommy and Daddy were talking about, but I knew it was about me. Both sets of eyes were still looking at me full of worry. I wish I could remember what happened, what they were talking about...but it was as if the previous night didn’t exist in my head. Something about time felt out of whack. Like it was misplaced or moved. Then I suddenly saw a vision of a monster, a loud bag. And screams. But as quickly as I saw this flash,
“She’s pretty Mom,” I said, looking at my new sister sleeping in Mommy’s arms.
“She’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen,” said Daddy, “next to your mother James.”
Daddy kissed the baby very softly on her head. “What should we name her?”
Mommy’s eye lids blinked fast. I’m not sure why I noticed that. Sometimes when people moved fast, it became slow motion in my head. Like my brain had to pay attention to the details. I knew I was a bit different to most little boys. The way the world moved around me scared me sometimes. The speed that things moved did not seem normal.
“I was thinking Margot. It means ‘pearl’ in French. A beautiful little pearl. She has fair hair like you and blue eyes like the sea. Seems to fit, don’t you think?”
Daddy pat the baby’s head. “Yes, it certainly does. Margot...” he said slowly. “I love it.”
“And Delia for her second name.”
Daddy’s eyes flicked open really wide at Mommy.
“Margot Delia White. What do you think?”
“It’s perfect. Just perfect.” Daddy kissed the baby’s head once more. “Can I hold her?”
Mommy slowly handed the baby over to Daddy who cradled Margot in his arms. He started walking around the room, whispering into her little baby ears. Daddy looked so happy. Peaceful. I smiled.
Mommy’s hand was then on my head. “Climb up onto the bed next to me James.” I did what I was told, but to be honest, I wanted to get into bed next to Mommy the moment I walked into the room. She pulled me close so I was nestled next to her under her shoulder like I was a baby bird under her wing.
“Has he said anything about last night?” my Mom asked out loud, but not to me.
Daddy shook his head. “He says he can’t remember anything about what happened. Nothing at all.”
Mommy made a ‘mmm’ sound. “Do you think he’s in shock? Maybe we should get a doctor to look him over.”
“I was thinking the same thing too,” Daddy said staring at me worried again.
Mommy put her finger on my chin and turned my head so I could see her eyes. “James, sweetheart...are you okay? What do you remember about last night? It’s important that you tell Mommy and Daddy everything that you remember. It’s so we can help you.”
I looked at Mom, not able to say anything. I tried again to think about last night, but all I saw was black. Nothing more. “Am I in trouble?” The way they both looked at made me think that something was wrong. That ‘I’ did something wrong.
“You’re not in trouble sweetie. Mommy and Daddy just need to know what you remember...it’s very important that you tell us.”
“Mommy, I can’t remember anything. I’m sorry,” I said, looking down.
“Don’t be sorry sweetheart.” She hugged me tight against her ribs.
Daddy spoke from across the room. “It makes sense he’s blocked it out. With what he saw, it’s more than his little mind can probably cope with. I’m sure he doesn’t understand what happened...or what he did...”
“Do you really think he...” Mommy’s voice trailed off, not finishing what she was going to say.
“I honestly don’t know...I couldn’t see straight when it happened...”
Mommy pat my hair as I leaned against her. “And what happens when he remembers? What do we say to him? What do we do?”
I didn’t know what Mommy and Daddy were talking about, but I knew it was about me. Both sets of eyes were still looking at me full of worry. I wish I could remember what happened, what they were talking about...but it was as if the previous night didn’t exist in my head. Something about time felt out of whack. Like it was misplaced or moved. Then I suddenly saw a vision of a monster, a loud bag. And screams. But as quickly as I saw this flash,
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