Feels Like Love by Jeanette Lewis

defensively.
    He
shrugged. “Nothing.”
    April
finished the recipe cards while Trevor ate the entire box of cereal from a
mixing bowl, then he helped her get Ben up and give him breakfast. Donna did
not come on Sundays and April was glad to have something to keep her occupied.
    She
guided Ben gently through his morning therapy to stretch and strengthen his
stiff muscles. “Does that hurt?” she asked as she bent and straightened his
knee.
    He
smiled.
    April
worked in silence for a few more minutes. “Do you think I should call mom?” she
finally asked Ben, then shook her head. “No, you’re right. I should leave her
alone.”
    Tears
welled in her eyes and she rested her forehead on her brother’s bent knee. “I don’t
know what to do, Benny,” she whispered.
    Ben
squirmed impatiently and she lifted her head and gave him a smile. “Sorry. Arms
now?”
    By
the time they were finished with the exercises, April knew what to do. She changed
her clothes, fixed her hair, dealt with her red eyes the best she could, and
drove to town.
    Sunday
services were ending; the heavy wooden doors of the church were open and Pastor
John stood just inside as the congregation filtered out. April parked in a
disabled stall at the dry cleaner’s across the street and waited until the
crowd dispersed. As she hurried toward the church, she saw Kazlyn coming in the
other direction, still with the tall man she’d been with at the carnival.
    They
stopped to chat, but April brushed off Kazlyn’s concern at her red eyes and after
a quick conversation and a sympathetic hug, her friend moved on. April hurried
to the side entrance of the church, slipping past the offices and into the
chapel.
    It
was empty and quiet. She sat on a hard wooden pew and gazed at the altar and
the crucifix hanging below the large stained glass window. It was painted, not
real stained glass, but it was still pretty. As a child, she thought the colored
sunshine spilling through it was the most beautiful thing in the world.
    It was pretty cool.
    After
a few minutes, the door at the back of the chapel opened and Pastor John came
in, looking even taller and lankier in his black robes. His face broke into a smile
when he saw her.
“April! We
missed you at services this morning,” he said, taking a seat at her side.
    With
so many people in his congregation, it seemed odd he would notice her absence,
but she didn’t doubt he had. Pastor John was that kind of person.
    He
tipped his head to one side and gave her a questioning look. “Need to talk?”
    April
took a shaky breath. She had planned to tell him only about Scott, but once she
began, she found herself going into details about Wade as well, including what
had happened at the carnival and in Twin Falls.
    He
listened without interruption until she finished her story. “This week has been
quite a rollercoaster ride for you, hasn’t it?” he finally said kindly. “How
can I help?”
    “What
do I do?” April pleaded. “I’m so torn. Why can’t I have Wade, but with Scott’s
ambition? If I’m being really honest, I love Scott, but I’m in love with
Wade.” She shook her head and swiped at the tears on her cheeks. “But I can’t spend my life on a farm.”
    “Are
you sure you’re not focusing on Smarties?” Pastor John asked gently.
    “Smarties?”
    His
eyes lit up the way they always did when he told a story. “When my son was
about four, he found a package of Smarties in my wife’s purse. He wanted them so badly, but we wouldn’t give them to him. He cried and begged and sulked and the
only thing in his world at the moment was that package of Smarties.
    “He
didn’t even notice the chocolate cake on the counter right above his head. We wouldn’t
let him have Smarties because we were going to give him cake … later.” He
paused for a minute. “If my son had known about the cake, how do you think he would
have felt about the Smarties?”
    “He
wouldn’t have wanted them,” April replied,