reappeared uninvited. I wished I could crucify those unwanted emotions that crept their way silently and unnoticed back into my heart and made their home again inside that wretched, barely beating organ.
“You still have feelings for him?” Jericho asked, but it wasn't a question, it felt like a resonating accusation.
“No, how could I?” I argued with myself. “But at the same time the thought that he could die, or that he is dying, makes me want to.... truthfully, I want to vomit.”
I thought Jericho would pull away from me, or slap me, or get angry with me or anything but laugh. But laugh he did, the silent kind of laughter that shakes one's body and brings a tear to one's eye. I looked up at him, confused by how entertained he was at my expense. His laughter subsided, but the amusement never left his twinkling eyes.
“Eden, it's all right. What you felt for Kiran was real, as hard as that may be to hear, it was real. It became even more real by the fact that you planned this future with him and when that was taken from you, you didn't even get a say, or have a choice. You were as much of a victim that night as I was, or Avalon or even Amory. Even if you want to kill him, that doesn't mean you want him dead. Feelings like that, they just don't disappear because you want them to. They're irrational to begin with, so telling them to go away usually makes them worse. Believe me,” Jericho explained in such a way that I felt weight was lifted from my shoulders. I looked up at him, and he looked back at me, resting his forehead against mine for a brief moment before kissing it gently and releasing his embrace.
“But they will go away, won't they?” I asked in a small voice, leaning back against the counter.
“Yes, I believe they will,” he nodded confidently, smiling in a way that made his dimple come to life and his eyes shine with assurance. “Besides, it's not fair that he should get to die of this unnamed disease. I want to be the one to kill him.”
“I feel the same way,” I echoed Jericho's light tone, finding a smile to give back to him.
“There is something you should know though,” he turned serious for a moment, the light in his eyes dimming and his smile fading away. He cleared his throat before continuing, “It was Kiran's idea to send me with Talbott. Lucan originally wanted to send Lilly; he thought she was less of a threat and the most compelling bargaining chip, but Kiran insisted that I would be stronger leverage. Kiran demanded that his father send me instead of Lilly.”
I stared at him with confusion, wanting to ask questions, but he held up his hand to stop me.
“Talbott told me on the way over that Kiran wanted you to be protected. He sent me to protect you. Hell, it was even his idea for Talbott to let me go no matter what you decided about Avalon and the magic. He still loves you Eden, he's still trying to protect you, even from his death bed,” Jericho finished quietly, as if he was making a case for Kiran.
“Why are you telling me this? Why are sticking up for him?” I asked, horrified. My stomach started to churn violently again and I felt for sure, this time, I would be sick.
“I just want you to have all of the facts.... I just want you to know the whole story. Eden, I want nothing more for you than to forget about him, I want you to move on and I want to be the reason you are able to move on.” Jericho took a step forward, his voice deep with sincerity and his eyes burning with intensity. I felt the blush rise to my cheeks at his honesty, but I couldn't turn away. I drank in his words, holding them tightly to my heart and letting the hope he shared fill me. “I love you, that has never changed. I am hoping that one day, not any day soon, I get that, but one day you will be able to love me in return. So I plan on doing everything in my power to help you move past Kiran and onto.... different things. It's not fair though, if you don't know the entire story, so I'm
“You still have feelings for him?” Jericho asked, but it wasn't a question, it felt like a resonating accusation.
“No, how could I?” I argued with myself. “But at the same time the thought that he could die, or that he is dying, makes me want to.... truthfully, I want to vomit.”
I thought Jericho would pull away from me, or slap me, or get angry with me or anything but laugh. But laugh he did, the silent kind of laughter that shakes one's body and brings a tear to one's eye. I looked up at him, confused by how entertained he was at my expense. His laughter subsided, but the amusement never left his twinkling eyes.
“Eden, it's all right. What you felt for Kiran was real, as hard as that may be to hear, it was real. It became even more real by the fact that you planned this future with him and when that was taken from you, you didn't even get a say, or have a choice. You were as much of a victim that night as I was, or Avalon or even Amory. Even if you want to kill him, that doesn't mean you want him dead. Feelings like that, they just don't disappear because you want them to. They're irrational to begin with, so telling them to go away usually makes them worse. Believe me,” Jericho explained in such a way that I felt weight was lifted from my shoulders. I looked up at him, and he looked back at me, resting his forehead against mine for a brief moment before kissing it gently and releasing his embrace.
“But they will go away, won't they?” I asked in a small voice, leaning back against the counter.
“Yes, I believe they will,” he nodded confidently, smiling in a way that made his dimple come to life and his eyes shine with assurance. “Besides, it's not fair that he should get to die of this unnamed disease. I want to be the one to kill him.”
“I feel the same way,” I echoed Jericho's light tone, finding a smile to give back to him.
“There is something you should know though,” he turned serious for a moment, the light in his eyes dimming and his smile fading away. He cleared his throat before continuing, “It was Kiran's idea to send me with Talbott. Lucan originally wanted to send Lilly; he thought she was less of a threat and the most compelling bargaining chip, but Kiran insisted that I would be stronger leverage. Kiran demanded that his father send me instead of Lilly.”
I stared at him with confusion, wanting to ask questions, but he held up his hand to stop me.
“Talbott told me on the way over that Kiran wanted you to be protected. He sent me to protect you. Hell, it was even his idea for Talbott to let me go no matter what you decided about Avalon and the magic. He still loves you Eden, he's still trying to protect you, even from his death bed,” Jericho finished quietly, as if he was making a case for Kiran.
“Why are you telling me this? Why are sticking up for him?” I asked, horrified. My stomach started to churn violently again and I felt for sure, this time, I would be sick.
“I just want you to have all of the facts.... I just want you to know the whole story. Eden, I want nothing more for you than to forget about him, I want you to move on and I want to be the reason you are able to move on.” Jericho took a step forward, his voice deep with sincerity and his eyes burning with intensity. I felt the blush rise to my cheeks at his honesty, but I couldn't turn away. I drank in his words, holding them tightly to my heart and letting the hope he shared fill me. “I love you, that has never changed. I am hoping that one day, not any day soon, I get that, but one day you will be able to love me in return. So I plan on doing everything in my power to help you move past Kiran and onto.... different things. It's not fair though, if you don't know the entire story, so I'm
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