Fat Off Sex and Violence by Shane McKenzie Page B

Princess Leia costume she’d worn on their honeymoon so many years ago.  
                “I can be Chewbaca,” he’d said, running his hand over the sweater of hair covering his chest and stomach. “Don’t even need a costume. Wrrdddd.”
                She had laughed, promised him she’d be waiting for him, full Leia. He knew she’d be ready to pass out from lack of blood circulation since she had just about doubled in size since their honeymoon, but he didn’t plan on letting her wear it for long anyway.
                He looked over at the kids, who were taking their time packing their stuff up. Sonny was too busy cracking jokes about Gary to do his job sufficiently, but Shipley was too tired to say anything. The scrawny one kept trying to defend Gary, pushing his glasses back up his nose as the other boys shoved him around.
                “Guys, come on. Closing time.” He walked toward the door to click off the OPEN sign. Gary stood on the other side of the glass, smiling in at him. His face was a mess of swollenness and dried blood. “Well look here.” He pulled the door open, opened his mouth to voice his displeasure, but it just hung there.
                Gary walked into the store with three things: a boy, a girl, and the most gorgeous redhead Shipley had ever seen. And she hung from Gary’s neck, licked the inside of his ear as they entered.
                What in the hell?
                Shipley had already disliked the guy, but now it was fueled by jealousy. And though he figured Gary hadn’t shown up because of whatever happened to his face, he already decided he would be keeping the paycheck.
                Shipley smiled, crossed his arms. “Hope you didn’t pay too much for her, Gary. Because there’s no paycheck here for you. I told you to be here before closing time, and you’re late.”
                “Hey, Gary!” The scrawny boy walked on his toes across the store. He stopped and wrinkled his nose, pushed his glasses back up. “Who is…she?”
                Gary only smiled. The children—the boy and girl—stepped in front of him, studied the store. They giggled and whispered to each other. Cute kids, chubby and pink.
              “Mr. Shipley, I’m not here about any of that,” Gary said. “I see you’ve got the asshole brigade here with you.” He chuckled. “That’s just perfect.”
                The boys spotted him from across the store, grabbed all their gaming equipment and stormed toward him, Sonny in the lead. When the boys saw the woman dangling from Gary’s neck, they hesitated.
                Yeah, I know, boys. Just doesn’t make any sense.
            “What…what you doing here, fat ass? It’s my job now. And besides, you missed the tournament,” Sonny said. “I know, you were too scared to face me, right?”
                “No way,” Clay said. “Gary could beat you any day. Right, Gary?” The boy beamed up at him, but got no response.
                Gary patted the children on the tops of their heads, turned to the redhead and shoved his tongue into her mouth. She moaned, swayed her body, grabbed handfuls of his hair and yanked.
                Shipley could only gawk. The boys stood in silence, every one of their mouths hanging open. The scrawny kid wiped a coating of drool from his lip.
                The little girl had turned and watched with extreme interest.
                Then the woman got on her knees, unzipped Gary’s pants.
                “Now wait just a goddamn minute,” Shipley said. “Get the hell out of my store with that stuff before I call the cops!”
                But the woman didn’t hear him, either that or she didn’t care. Because the next thing he saw was her head bobbing up and down. Gary stared right at Shipley,