Falling For You by Giselle Green

so much of what Dad used to look like - it brought it all back to me, that’s all.’
    ‘Oh, Rose.’ His voice is heavy with sympathy. ‘I’m so sorry. It’s a lot to put on you, isn’t it? You’ve always coped so well and we all know how much my brother values his independence.  You do know that if there’s anything you ever need …’ H e rubs the side of my shoulder consolingly. ‘All you have to do is say the word.’
    Is that really all I have to do? I shoot him a glance. I’ve never asked them for anything, that’s part of the trouble. Maybe they really do have no idea how much I need their help now?
    ‘There is something I need,’ I catch my breath now, surprised at how quickly that came out. Shall I just say it?
    I’ll say it. Tell him that I want the family to help me if that offer does come through. I’ll do it. I pause for a moment, gathering the courage while the words catch and gather in my throat, reluctant as some heavy pebbles rolled along a slow river bed.
    ‘The thing is, Uncle …’
    A renewed blast of fresh-coffee aroma and the fragrance of warmed mince-pies accompanied by a gale of laughter turns our heads towards the kitchen as my aunt Carlotta and cousin Sam look as if they’re about to come out into the hall.
    ‘I want …’ my fingers grip tight around his elbow suddenly, calling his attention back to me and he turns to look at me in surprise.
    ‘I need you to help me out with Dad.’ My words come tumbling out all high pitched and fizzy like the pop of the cork on a champagne bottle ‘… u ncle Ty, even if I’m made an offer, I won’t be able to go unless you can agree to help.’ I watch his eyes dart over to his wife and daughter who have seen us, who are walking right up to us but I have to get this all out before his attention slips away. His dark eyes are on me again, sympathetic.
    ‘Dad can’t live here without assistance. In fact, he’d be loath to leave, but maybe if you could take your brother into your own home …?’ Ty’s eyes open wider in surprise – shock, even? He wasn’t expecting that, obviously. When he said he could offer help he probably meant money. Or advice?
    He clears his throat and when I remove my fingers from his arm he gives me the faintest of nods, acknowledging my words but little else and then;
    ‘She’s back!’
    Any other words I was going to say to him die in my throat.
    ‘Rose. We missed you. Where were you?’ My cousin grins. I smile faintly at her and when she comes over to hug me I get a whiff of her heady signature perfume, a quick shot of her clothes, which are exquisitely-tailored and expensive, matching her mother’s, a whole picture that says they’re on their way somewhere else, somewhere exciting and fabulous and this unexpected blip of a stop-over at Clare Farm is a minor inconvenience. I swallow, taking it all in. Is u ncle Ty really going to let himself be affected by what I’ve just told him? Their lives are so busy, so full . Full of their own desires and wants and pleasures. They haven’t got room for an ageing, disabled, needy relative have they? Room in their house, maybe - but in their hearts? I bite my lip. Our situation here is nothing to them. They’ve never really concerned themselves with it too much, have always just assumed me and Dad would cope just fine …
    ‘Darling it’s been ages . ’ Carlotta smiles at me a little sympathetically and I imagine she’s thinking I could do with a better hair-cut, maybe some high-lights …
    ‘Where did you get to? Your home-help thought you might have gone to fetch some logs. We noticed the fire was burning a bit low …’
    ‘No.’ I stick my hands in my pockets, shrugging off her question. When I glance behind me I can see my uncle. He’s a step or two behind us, letting us get on with all the ‘female relatives greeting each other’ thing but I can feel his pensiveness from here. What I’ve just said to him has really affected him, I can sense