Falling Fast by Sophie McKenzie

made it sound like a list of places she’d cleaned her teeth.
    Not for the first time, I felt completely confused over Emmi’s unemotional attitude to sex. I’d never gone all the way myself, of course, but I could imagine with Flynn it would be
mind-blowing. A massive deal.
    Grace wrinkled up her snubby little nose. ‘Eew, Emmi, the ladies’ . . . ? You could have caught something,’ she said.
    ‘No, I couldn’t. We used a condom,’ Emmi said defiantly.
    ‘She means from the toilet.’ I grinned, then shook my head solemnly. ‘You’re a class act, Em. A class act.’
    But Emmi didn’t seem to mind us teasing her. In fact, the more we made it clear we weren’t impressed, the more she looked down her nose at us both – as if there was something
wrong with us for not having lost our virginity yet. As if we lacked something important – originality maybe, or confidence or nerve.
    No. There was no way I could tell them how it had felt with Flynn in the park. How scarily powerful my feelings had been. How I’d felt when he’d kissed and touched me – like my
heart was full to bursting and my breath was being sucked out of me and my head was exploding with it.
    Flynn and I met up as arranged the next day. It was warm again and we sat out on the open grass in the park. Flynn was working on some history essay. I’d brought a book,
but I didn’t read much. I just sat there, leaning against Flynn’s legs, enjoying the sun on my face.
    I still couldn’t believe how easy it was just to be with him. It was like we’d known each other for ages. Like we didn’t need to speak at all.
    Flynn worked fast, his lips moving silently as he read from his textbooks then wrote another few sentences. After ten minutes or so he seemed to be concentrating so hard I wasn’t sure he
was even aware of my presence.
    I turned back to my book, but I couldn’t follow the words on the page. Every thought in my head, every sense in my body was tuned to him. I knew there was so much he kept secret, hidden
away from everyone. I was greedy for more of him.
    I closed my book and turned round, gazing at his face.
    He looked up straight away. ‘Sorry, I won’t be much longer.’ He stared down at the essay. ‘I’ve got to finish this today. I said I’d go and help Mum with her
work tomorrow and then I’m doing some extra shifts at Goldbar’s on Wednesday and Thursday.’
    I took a deep breath. I knew that talking about Flynn’s jobs was dangerous territory. It was too close to talking about him not having any money.
    ‘What work does your mum do?’ I said tentatively.
    Flynn met my gaze. His eyes darkened, as if daring me to take the mickey. ‘Cleaning jobs,’ he said shortly. ‘And she does shifts at this call centre in Archway too.’
    I nodded slowly, sensing that if I said the wrong thing now, he might get up and stalk off.
    ‘Please don’t get cross,’ I said. ‘But why did you say the other day that you feel guilty about your mum and sister working?’ I took his hand.
    His eyes glittered dangerously. But he didn’t pull his hand away.
    ‘Because they’re bringing in more money than me,’ he muttered.
    I frowned. ‘But you’re at school, and you work all the time when you’re not.’
    ‘Exactly,’ he said. ‘I’m still at school. I could have left last year. I could be working full time, really helping. Instead, they’re having to pay for me. Well,
Mum’s money plus benefits pays the rent and bills. And Siobhan pays for food. My money just means we can buy new clothes occasionally. I hate it.’
    His eyes burned so fiercely that I felt scared and turned on all at once.
    ‘So why did you stay on?’
    ‘I need A levels to get to law school,’ he said. ‘Once I’m a lawyer I’ll earn ten times more money than you get from doing rubbish cleaning jobs and car washing and
stupid organic vegetable deliveries.’
    ‘You want to be a lawyer?’ I screwed up my face. It was hard to imagine Flynn