Faithless by Amanda Bennett

jeans and a baggy
sweater, and headed out to grab some coffee before group. Lord knows I was
going to need it. The cafeteria was unusually empty and very quiet. It was eerie
and put me on edge as I filled my coffee cup and rushed down the hall. When I
entered the room, everybody decided to take the opportunity to stare at me like
I was some animal in a zoo. I gave a small annoying wave and went to my seat.
    It's not like I expected him to show up or
anything, but deep down I had hoped he would. When I saw the empty seat next to
mine, I couldn't help but feel disappointed. I tucked my feet under me as I
sipped on my coffee, waiting for Mr. Rollins to start us off. Luckily, I had beaten
him in this morning. That was always good thing; I hated the unwanted attention
he gave when he was here before me.
    I glanced around the room noticing that a few of
the usual people were no longer here, and I became envious. They had all healed
and found the strength to go on without this place. I desperately wished that
for me, and I knew I could achieve it, if I just tried a little harder. I was
busy staring at that goddamn ink stain on the floor when a pair of black and
white Converse came into view beneath me. My heart skipped a beat and
practically got lodged in my throat as I prepared myself to look up into those
mesmerizing blue eyes. Unfortunately when I did look up, I was met with a set
of chocolate brown eyes with an apologetic nature. He had to have seen the
disappointment in my face because he was quickly apologizing.
    "I'm sorry, Riley. It's just me."
London's voice was deep and commanding even when he was trying to be
sympathetic. I wasn't sure if I found it attractive or condescending.
    "No need to apologize, London. How are
you?"
    He sat down next to me making himself comfortable
in Tristan's chair, and I became extremely irritated. "I can't complain, I
guess. How are you doing today?"
    I crossed my arms tightly over my chest, never
looking directly at him. "I'm okay."
    "That's it?"
    "What do you want me to say, London?"
    "Say you'll have lunch with me."
    My eyes shot up to his. I couldn't believe he had
the audacity to sit here, not even twenty-four hours after Tristan and I had
our blowout, asking me to have lunch with him. "Are you serious right
now?"
    "Of course I am."
    I stood, pointing my finger into his chest.
"Who do you think you are?"
    "Whoa Riley, calm down. I was just asking if
you wanted to have lunch, it's not like I asked you to marry me." He was
now standing face to face with me, and my anger slowly started to dissipate. He
made a good point.
    "Sorry. Yeah, I guess we can have lunch
together."
    "Okay, I'll see ya after group then?"
    "Yeah." I whispered before I sat back in
my chair and he walked towards the other side of the room.
      I spent
the entire group session staring at the doors, just waiting for them to come
flying open as Tristan walked in. It never happened though. I was slowly
starting to come to the realization that I may never get the opportunity to
make things right with him. I just needed him to hear me out, and I needed him
to explain so much more than he had. Honestly, I just needed to see him more
than anything.
    Mr. Rollins was starting to wrap up group when I
quickly stood, gathering all the attention from my fellow patients. "Mr.
Rollins, I'd like to talk about some things if that's okay?"
    "Absolutely, Riley. Please start whenever
you're ready."
    I nodded in appreciation and stood in front of the
group, straightening my sweater as I tried to calm my nerves. "I haven't
had an easy life. I know many of us haven't, but for me, I've always felt like
I was living in hell on Earth. I grew up thinking that my parents never loved
me, and as I bounced from foster home to foster home, it only reaffirmed my
thoughts. How could anyone let their child go through what I went through, if
they really loved them?" I tugged at the frayed hem on my sweater as I
continued. I still wasn't brave enough to look