realized before? He didn’t care about me or my feelings. It was Charlie’s world and I just lived in it.
I typed out a response to him. Ignoring everything he had said I simply talked about practicalities: the joint account, the household bills in my name that needed to be changed , etc., etc. There was nothing else to say. I didn’t care anymore why he had done what he had done. It had happened and it told me all I needed to know about him and our relationship. I was right to have had my doubts about our engagement—about him—and I began to realize that those doubts hadn’t forced Charlie to sleep with Fran.
***
Anna insisted I move in with her when we got back to London, and I was grateful. The thought of flat-hunting and then living on my own for the first time ever seemed like too much change for me at the moment. And she had a great place within walking distance of work. I put some of my stuff in storage before we went on vacation, but my room was big enough to have enough around me that made me feel at home and there were some bits of mine scattered throughout the kitchen and living areas.
Daniel was in New York for the few days after we got back. We had agreed to have our first official date on the following Saturday. My jetlag would be gone , but hopefully my tan wouldn’t have faded—the perfect combination!
Going back to work was easier than I expected. Going in on the first day was helped by my tan, that glossy sheen sun kissed hair takes on and a killer new outfit that was as tight as, the neckline as low as, was possible while still being professional. I looked great, even if I did say so myself. I took Brendan out for a coffee and explained what had happened. I knew by doing that I wouldn’t have to repeat the story to people asking about my sudden and unexpected holiday—Brendan would do that, which suited me.
My drama was overtaken by lunchtime by the fact that an email was circulated by one of the partners in another department announcing he was gay. He had been married 25 years. Of course Brendan couldn’t wait to tell me that he had suspected all along. It really put Charlie cheating on me, albeit with a close friend of mine, into perspective.
I hadn’t spoken to Daniel since he left Mexico , but our texts were becoming more regular, particularly since being back in London. It was just friendly, inconsequential stuff, not pushy, not sexy, just light and nice.
When Saturday arrived, after feeling serene for the week, my anxiety kicked in. I was suddenly terrified. I didn’t think I could see him. He probably had a girlfriend in New York . He seemed to be there all the time. I’d heard about pilots leading double lives, having two families living on separate continents. Daniel might not be married to his English wife anymore but what about his life in New York? I didn’t want to open myself up to potential new heartache. It would be so much easier just to cancel our date. A Chinese takeaway and The Vow on DVD seemed like a much safer option.
I lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, thinking up excuses to give to Daniel.
Anna wandered in. “So, are you excited? What are you going to wear?”
“I don’t think I can do it. I’m going to cancel . It’s too soon.” Anna got into bed beside me but didn’t say a word. We both lay there. “Anyway, it was a bit too much that he flew to Mexico to see me. For goodness sake, who does that? No one, that’s who. I think he might have a problem and I don’t need another man with a problem. I just got rid of one. And he bought me a phone. That was weird. I think it’s all a bit weird. A bit too much. And he probably has a wife in New York. And he’s too good-looking. I could never trust a man that good-looking. His face is offensive it’s so handsome. He must have women throwing themselves at him. I just can’t do it.”
“Have you finished?” Anna asked after I stopped rambling and my breathing returned to normal. “Daniel is not
I typed out a response to him. Ignoring everything he had said I simply talked about practicalities: the joint account, the household bills in my name that needed to be changed , etc., etc. There was nothing else to say. I didn’t care anymore why he had done what he had done. It had happened and it told me all I needed to know about him and our relationship. I was right to have had my doubts about our engagement—about him—and I began to realize that those doubts hadn’t forced Charlie to sleep with Fran.
***
Anna insisted I move in with her when we got back to London, and I was grateful. The thought of flat-hunting and then living on my own for the first time ever seemed like too much change for me at the moment. And she had a great place within walking distance of work. I put some of my stuff in storage before we went on vacation, but my room was big enough to have enough around me that made me feel at home and there were some bits of mine scattered throughout the kitchen and living areas.
Daniel was in New York for the few days after we got back. We had agreed to have our first official date on the following Saturday. My jetlag would be gone , but hopefully my tan wouldn’t have faded—the perfect combination!
Going back to work was easier than I expected. Going in on the first day was helped by my tan, that glossy sheen sun kissed hair takes on and a killer new outfit that was as tight as, the neckline as low as, was possible while still being professional. I looked great, even if I did say so myself. I took Brendan out for a coffee and explained what had happened. I knew by doing that I wouldn’t have to repeat the story to people asking about my sudden and unexpected holiday—Brendan would do that, which suited me.
My drama was overtaken by lunchtime by the fact that an email was circulated by one of the partners in another department announcing he was gay. He had been married 25 years. Of course Brendan couldn’t wait to tell me that he had suspected all along. It really put Charlie cheating on me, albeit with a close friend of mine, into perspective.
I hadn’t spoken to Daniel since he left Mexico , but our texts were becoming more regular, particularly since being back in London. It was just friendly, inconsequential stuff, not pushy, not sexy, just light and nice.
When Saturday arrived, after feeling serene for the week, my anxiety kicked in. I was suddenly terrified. I didn’t think I could see him. He probably had a girlfriend in New York . He seemed to be there all the time. I’d heard about pilots leading double lives, having two families living on separate continents. Daniel might not be married to his English wife anymore but what about his life in New York? I didn’t want to open myself up to potential new heartache. It would be so much easier just to cancel our date. A Chinese takeaway and The Vow on DVD seemed like a much safer option.
I lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, thinking up excuses to give to Daniel.
Anna wandered in. “So, are you excited? What are you going to wear?”
“I don’t think I can do it. I’m going to cancel . It’s too soon.” Anna got into bed beside me but didn’t say a word. We both lay there. “Anyway, it was a bit too much that he flew to Mexico to see me. For goodness sake, who does that? No one, that’s who. I think he might have a problem and I don’t need another man with a problem. I just got rid of one. And he bought me a phone. That was weird. I think it’s all a bit weird. A bit too much. And he probably has a wife in New York. And he’s too good-looking. I could never trust a man that good-looking. His face is offensive it’s so handsome. He must have women throwing themselves at him. I just can’t do it.”
“Have you finished?” Anna asked after I stopped rambling and my breathing returned to normal. “Daniel is not
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