somehow one day turns into another and before you know it your children have grown and you haven’t done half the things you set out to do when you were younger.”
“I still don’t see the point ...”
“The point is, Tia, you’re judging Dirk when you could not possibly know how he feels. He did a very courageous thing, and—”
“Courageous?”
she cried in disbelief, jumping to her feet. “Lexie! He killed your husband!”
“And I’ll mourn Johan until the day I die. But what I
won’t
do is condemn a decent young man who saved my husband from months—possibly years—of torture at the hands of Antonov Latanya by doing what Johan asked of him.”
Tia sank down on the chair again. “Lexie, why is it only me that thinks he’s dangerous?”
“Because nobody else has quite the same black-and-white view of the world that you have, Tia. In real life, good people sometimes do bad things and bad people are not all totally evil. Dirk lives with what he’s done every day of his life. Just because he doesn’t wear his heart on his sleeve, doesn’t mean he isn’t punishing himself over it. He certainly doesn’t need you twisting the knife at every opportunity.”
“It’s so unfair! He kills Johan and somehow I’m the one in trouble!”
“Perhaps you should think about apologizing.”
“To Dirk Provin? The second sun will freeze over before that happens.”
“Well, if you can’t bring yourself to apologize, at least give him the benefit of the doubt.”
“You really don’t resent him, do you. He’s Morna’s son, for Goddess’s sake! How can you even bear to have him in your house?”
“I have a penchant for taking in lost children, Tia.”
She looked away guiltily. “You both think I’m being unreasonable, don’t you? I know Reithan does.”
“I think you’re still grieving for a man you loved like a father. But he’s been dead for two years, Tia. It’s time to let it go.”
Tia wiped her eyes with the kerchief. “I can’t just forgive and forget, Lexie. I was there. I saw it happen.”
“Nobody expects you to forget. But I think it’s time you forgave Dirk.” She held up her hand when Tia tried to object. “When you harbor bitterness, my dear, happiness will find another port to dock in. I’m not saying this for Dirk’s benefit. While I’m sure he’d appreciate hearing a civil word from you on occasion, I think that young man is more than strong enough to weather your rage. But I worry about you. You cannot go on living in a state of constant fury. Your anger will destroy you long before it destroys Dirk.” She took Tia’s hands in hers and forced a cheery smile. “Now, why don’t you go wash your face and put a dress on and we’ll go down to the beach with the others. It’s not often we get to have a party here, and we shouldn’t miss this one.”
“I suppose,” she agreed glumly. “But I’m not wearing a dress.”
“It was worth a try, Lexie,” Porl said with a smile.
Tia wiped her eyes, sniffing back the last of her tears. “I’m sorry, Lexie.”
“You don’t owe me an apology. Now, off you go, or we’ll miss the garland floating.”
Tia walked toward the door, turning back to look at Porl when she reached it. “Who else knows, Captain?”
“A few of the council we thought could be trusted.”
“You never told Mellie?”
“No. You were right to keep it from her, Tia. Mellie doesn’t need to know.”
“I miss him so much, Lexie.”
“We all do, Tia. But life goes on. Johan wouldn’t want you to waste your life fretting over something you can never change.”
Tia nodded silently and walked back to her room.
Chapter 12
By the time they arrived on the beach, most of the children were caught up in a boisterous game of stingball. The game involved a circle of players, armed with a hard leather ball, aiming it at the mass of children gathered in the center, with the intention of striking them, thus eliminating them from the game. It was
“I still don’t see the point ...”
“The point is, Tia, you’re judging Dirk when you could not possibly know how he feels. He did a very courageous thing, and—”
“Courageous?”
she cried in disbelief, jumping to her feet. “Lexie! He killed your husband!”
“And I’ll mourn Johan until the day I die. But what I
won’t
do is condemn a decent young man who saved my husband from months—possibly years—of torture at the hands of Antonov Latanya by doing what Johan asked of him.”
Tia sank down on the chair again. “Lexie, why is it only me that thinks he’s dangerous?”
“Because nobody else has quite the same black-and-white view of the world that you have, Tia. In real life, good people sometimes do bad things and bad people are not all totally evil. Dirk lives with what he’s done every day of his life. Just because he doesn’t wear his heart on his sleeve, doesn’t mean he isn’t punishing himself over it. He certainly doesn’t need you twisting the knife at every opportunity.”
“It’s so unfair! He kills Johan and somehow I’m the one in trouble!”
“Perhaps you should think about apologizing.”
“To Dirk Provin? The second sun will freeze over before that happens.”
“Well, if you can’t bring yourself to apologize, at least give him the benefit of the doubt.”
“You really don’t resent him, do you. He’s Morna’s son, for Goddess’s sake! How can you even bear to have him in your house?”
“I have a penchant for taking in lost children, Tia.”
She looked away guiltily. “You both think I’m being unreasonable, don’t you? I know Reithan does.”
“I think you’re still grieving for a man you loved like a father. But he’s been dead for two years, Tia. It’s time to let it go.”
Tia wiped her eyes with the kerchief. “I can’t just forgive and forget, Lexie. I was there. I saw it happen.”
“Nobody expects you to forget. But I think it’s time you forgave Dirk.” She held up her hand when Tia tried to object. “When you harbor bitterness, my dear, happiness will find another port to dock in. I’m not saying this for Dirk’s benefit. While I’m sure he’d appreciate hearing a civil word from you on occasion, I think that young man is more than strong enough to weather your rage. But I worry about you. You cannot go on living in a state of constant fury. Your anger will destroy you long before it destroys Dirk.” She took Tia’s hands in hers and forced a cheery smile. “Now, why don’t you go wash your face and put a dress on and we’ll go down to the beach with the others. It’s not often we get to have a party here, and we shouldn’t miss this one.”
“I suppose,” she agreed glumly. “But I’m not wearing a dress.”
“It was worth a try, Lexie,” Porl said with a smile.
Tia wiped her eyes, sniffing back the last of her tears. “I’m sorry, Lexie.”
“You don’t owe me an apology. Now, off you go, or we’ll miss the garland floating.”
Tia walked toward the door, turning back to look at Porl when she reached it. “Who else knows, Captain?”
“A few of the council we thought could be trusted.”
“You never told Mellie?”
“No. You were right to keep it from her, Tia. Mellie doesn’t need to know.”
“I miss him so much, Lexie.”
“We all do, Tia. But life goes on. Johan wouldn’t want you to waste your life fretting over something you can never change.”
Tia nodded silently and walked back to her room.
Chapter 12
By the time they arrived on the beach, most of the children were caught up in a boisterous game of stingball. The game involved a circle of players, armed with a hard leather ball, aiming it at the mass of children gathered in the center, with the intention of striking them, thus eliminating them from the game. It was
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