remains of his burger.
“You need to go after her,” said Danny. “You owe it to yourself.”
“But if I like her, but she likes this other guy, and he likes her, shouldn’t I stay out of it? Shouldn’t I keep my mouth shut? And go back to banging surfer girls?”
“How many surfer girls have you banged?”
“Zero.” Rory sat forward, his elbows on the table, his shoulders slouched.
“You gotta go after her.”
“I don’t want to get in the way. She deserves to be happy. So does the other guy. Lucky fuck.”
“Do you know him?”
Rory spit a morsel of food onto his plate. “No. I don’t know the guy. But from what I hear, he’s the best.”
“Then at the very least, tell her how you feel and let her decide. What choice do you have? You can’t go the rest of your life wondering about what might have been. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that regret sucks. It’s better to have tried and failed than to never have tried at all, to spend your life wondering about what could’ve been. Nobody’s perfect, certainly not me, but in my experience it’s better to regret the things you did do than to regret the things you never did.”
Rory stared levelly at Danny, watching Danny eat fries and push large forkfuls of spinach salad into his mouth. “Maybe you’re right.”
“You know what they say: All’s fair in love and war.”
~
Danny and Rory made their way back to Canary Tower. Behind them, in the distance, the massive Ferris Wheel perched on the pier, slowly revolving.
Rory slapped at the yellow button to activate the crosswalk. He hit it again. Hard.
“Easy,” said Danny, “the machine doesn’t care how badly you want to cross the street. It has a job to do.”
“And what job is that?”
“Getting you safely across the street.”
“I don’t need a machine to tell me what to do,” said Rory.
“We could jaywalk.”
“That reminds me, Tim told me about this guy, Larry, who started working in our company. Roboticist. Graduated Cal Tech. Now he work s in plastics. Anyway, Larry was out one day having lunch and he ate some bad Japanese food. Tim said that Larry thought it may have been cat meat. With Teriyaki sauce. Whatever it was, it didn’t agree with poor Larry. By the time he was leaving the restaurant, bad things were happening in his bowels. Finally, he was standing here, right here, on this very corner, waiting to cross the street. But he had to wait for the machine to tell him when it was safe to cross. Larry didn’t want to have an embarrassing accident so he took it upon himself to cross the street at a time when he deemed it safe to do so.”
“He crossed?”
“He crossed. He got into Positronic right over there . . .” Rory pointed to the restaurant. “But he had to wait in line to get a token for the bathroom. But the line was out the door, and then he had to buy something, since the restrooms are for customers only. He didn’t have any cash because he’d spent it all on the anomalous cat meat. So he bought a pizza he didn’t want, spent something like a hundred bucks, and finally got to the bathroom. But the door was locked because it was occupied. So you know what happened?”
“What?”
“He shit himself.”
“No shit.”
“Actually, lots of shit. He had to drive home with his poopy pants staining the seat of his brand new car, a Mercedes, I think. When he got home, he burned his pants, tossed them straight into the incinerator, which his fiancée was none too happy about because those pants had been a gift from her and she’d paid something like five hundred bucks for them at some boutique on Rodeo. Then he had to have a brand new car seat installed in his Merc, because they couldn’t get the shit stain out of the upholstery. Tim said Larry said that if he’d gotten a leather interior, it would’ve been fine. But he chose the cloth interior instead. So, bam! It was something like five thousand bucks or some outrageous
“You need to go after her,” said Danny. “You owe it to yourself.”
“But if I like her, but she likes this other guy, and he likes her, shouldn’t I stay out of it? Shouldn’t I keep my mouth shut? And go back to banging surfer girls?”
“How many surfer girls have you banged?”
“Zero.” Rory sat forward, his elbows on the table, his shoulders slouched.
“You gotta go after her.”
“I don’t want to get in the way. She deserves to be happy. So does the other guy. Lucky fuck.”
“Do you know him?”
Rory spit a morsel of food onto his plate. “No. I don’t know the guy. But from what I hear, he’s the best.”
“Then at the very least, tell her how you feel and let her decide. What choice do you have? You can’t go the rest of your life wondering about what might have been. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that regret sucks. It’s better to have tried and failed than to never have tried at all, to spend your life wondering about what could’ve been. Nobody’s perfect, certainly not me, but in my experience it’s better to regret the things you did do than to regret the things you never did.”
Rory stared levelly at Danny, watching Danny eat fries and push large forkfuls of spinach salad into his mouth. “Maybe you’re right.”
“You know what they say: All’s fair in love and war.”
~
Danny and Rory made their way back to Canary Tower. Behind them, in the distance, the massive Ferris Wheel perched on the pier, slowly revolving.
Rory slapped at the yellow button to activate the crosswalk. He hit it again. Hard.
“Easy,” said Danny, “the machine doesn’t care how badly you want to cross the street. It has a job to do.”
“And what job is that?”
“Getting you safely across the street.”
“I don’t need a machine to tell me what to do,” said Rory.
“We could jaywalk.”
“That reminds me, Tim told me about this guy, Larry, who started working in our company. Roboticist. Graduated Cal Tech. Now he work s in plastics. Anyway, Larry was out one day having lunch and he ate some bad Japanese food. Tim said that Larry thought it may have been cat meat. With Teriyaki sauce. Whatever it was, it didn’t agree with poor Larry. By the time he was leaving the restaurant, bad things were happening in his bowels. Finally, he was standing here, right here, on this very corner, waiting to cross the street. But he had to wait for the machine to tell him when it was safe to cross. Larry didn’t want to have an embarrassing accident so he took it upon himself to cross the street at a time when he deemed it safe to do so.”
“He crossed?”
“He crossed. He got into Positronic right over there . . .” Rory pointed to the restaurant. “But he had to wait in line to get a token for the bathroom. But the line was out the door, and then he had to buy something, since the restrooms are for customers only. He didn’t have any cash because he’d spent it all on the anomalous cat meat. So he bought a pizza he didn’t want, spent something like a hundred bucks, and finally got to the bathroom. But the door was locked because it was occupied. So you know what happened?”
“What?”
“He shit himself.”
“No shit.”
“Actually, lots of shit. He had to drive home with his poopy pants staining the seat of his brand new car, a Mercedes, I think. When he got home, he burned his pants, tossed them straight into the incinerator, which his fiancée was none too happy about because those pants had been a gift from her and she’d paid something like five hundred bucks for them at some boutique on Rodeo. Then he had to have a brand new car seat installed in his Merc, because they couldn’t get the shit stain out of the upholstery. Tim said Larry said that if he’d gotten a leather interior, it would’ve been fine. But he chose the cloth interior instead. So, bam! It was something like five thousand bucks or some outrageous
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