Evil by Tijan

I can’t handle you being inside of me.”
    “That’s not what I’m doing. I’m trying to figure out what to say to you to make it better. I don’t know what to say right now.”
    “You know everything.” All my life, Kellan had been our leader. He’d been the strongest. The fastest. The most powerful. The one who always knew what to do, who could handle anything. He couldn’t handle this and that said a lot. At the same time, it was like he’d taken a knife to my heart. I felt him stabbing me one, two, three times—like I’d been gutted. “What am I supposed to do with this information? Where do I go now?”
    Something shifted in him, and he glanced to Leah’s room. “She’s okay?”
    “Yeah. She’ll be fine now.”
    “She won’t need me here?”
    “No, she shouldn’t. I made it okay with her. I don’t know how, but she’ll be fine. She might remember, she might not. She might think of something to justify everything in her mind. I don’t know, but she’ll be fine. She’s at peace now.”
    I had done that. The messenger inside of me had done that. It felt right, but strange. It also felt like I’d chosen a different side. The line had been drawn. With that action I chose the other side. Kellan might not admit it, but we were enemies. I felt it in me. A part of me wanted to kill him.
    “Let’s go somewhere. I’ll…” But he didn’t know what to say. Kellan looked around, helpless. I saw it all over his face. It was heart-wrenching. He had no idea how to make this better, and my brother always knew. Then he frowned sharply. “Why did you come here again?”
    Where did I start? “Vespar came up to me at school today. He thinks you’re angry with him. Then Gus pleaded with me to find you. She’s scared that you and Vespar are going to fight, breaking all of us up.”
    He narrowed his eyes. “Why would Vespar think that I’m angry with him?”
    I shrugged. “I have no idea.”
    “Shay?”
    “I might’ve told him that.”
    A normal being would groan in frustration. Kellan flashed a smile. “Really?”
    I couldn’t help but smile back. “Now I’m glad. They’re both on edge because of it. I was just going off what you told me, that Vespar thinks we’re going to war with them.”
    He laughed now. “I said that because he does think it. I didn’t mean today or next week. I meant in the future. He knows the lines are drawn. He knows the alliances, and you and I are more powerful than those two. I have no intention of fighting them now.”
    “They don’t need to know that.”
    He quieted and asked, “Tell me the real reason why you found me.”
    “Matt was replaced by Dylan Cavanagh. Vespar punched him in the hallway. I think he’s a little pissed. He’s already started trying to bully me. He threatened us, said that we won’t get away with half the stuff we do now.”
    Kellan sobered, watching me. “That’s not why you sought me out either. Why, Shay?”
    He was annoying when he did that. “I don’t know. I really don’t.” And I didn’t, not really. I could’ve guessed, but those were emotions I didn’t want to acknowledge, especially now.
    “And if I were to guess, I’m sure Vespar or Giuseppa have already dealt with him. Am I right?” Both of his hands cupped my cheeks, and he cradled my face now. “What’s going on with you, Shay? Don’t tell me that it’s you being a Nephilim because you sought me out for a different reason. We will deal with your different parentage. I’m not concerned with it, not how you are, but I know things will be fine. That’s not the reason why you came here. Tell me why.”
    I opened my mouth to say something, but I had no idea what. So I halted, speechless, as he held me in his hands. When his thumbs started to brush against my cheeks, caressing back and forth, I couldn’t help but to close my eyes and lean into his touch. It was like I needed it. I needed him. I had sought him out because I needed this. The reality of that