Everything I want: Will Alfie and Lily's love survive?... by K. L. Shandwick Page A

We just seemed to fit together like the finest set of hand- forged sp oons.
    I pushed him back against the wall and staggered back against the other side. “Stop, Alfie. I came back because I knew I couldn’t leave with a bad feeling. I came back to speak to you, not for that to happen.” I pointed to where we had been kis sing.
    I sobbed. “I hate the fact that we can’t even be in the same room, but I can’t get involved with you again. It’s not what I want. I am beginning to do something with my life, A lfie.”
    I tried to sound convincing. “You need to leave me alone. I can’t stay strong when you’re pulling this shit with me all the time. I’ve struggled with the decision I made about us. Please don’t let it be in vain for me. You have achieved everything you set out to do. It’s my turn now, A lfie.”
    Alfie’s jaw twitched. “You don’t have any idea how I feel about you, do you?”
    I smirked. “Alfie, you moved on. Zoe’s your life now. I bet that poor girl did what I wouldn’t, and gave up everything, just to be with you. I would say she loves you more than I do after that, wouldn’t you?”
    Alfie ran his hand through his hair again. “Leave her out of it.” I bunched my brows and scowled at his lack of consideration for the girl he was currently with.
    “You’re a piece of work, you know that? You’d blow this girl’s life just like that, huh? Poor girl, you’re so fucking selfish. I’m glad I made the choice I did, but I don’t want this constant mind fuck every time we see each other.” He growled and held me by my arms.
    “Tell me you don’t love me, and I’ll walk away.” I swallowed and held his stare. It was boring holes into me. The thought that he’d cheated with me on his girl, that I was responsible for making another man cheat on his girl, just like Will did with Saffy, gave me the strength to do the only decent thing I could now.
    “Part of me will always love you Alfie, but I am not in love you anymore. I just don’t like to see you hurting.” My face was pas sive.
    “I’m still attracted to you, but that’s not the same thing. Don’t blow everything you have now with Zoe because of me. I’m never going to change my mind about you. Luca’s my future now.”
    As soon as the words were out, I was shocked that I had been able to deliver such a bold lie with such conviction. “The reason I came back up here was because it is totally possible we are going to run into each other from time to time. We both need to be able to handle that. We’ll be pleasant to each other, but apart from that, I don’t want you to converse or seek me out to do this shit again. Do you understan d me?”
    Alfie continued to stare at me for the longest time. He finally threw his hands up. “Fine, go.” He hit the elevator button again for me to l eave.
    He traveled down with me this time. When I stepped out, he let the door close again. Leaving me standing in the foyer a lone.
    Digs was coming out of the men’s room and as soon as he laid eyes on me, his hand swept under my armpit, and he frog marched me into the deserted breakfast room.
    “What the hell happened to you?” I shook my head.
    “It was that piece of shit, Alfie, wasn’ t it?”
    I tried to sound as unaffected as I could. “I’m okay, Digs, it was just something I had to do.” I gave him a small smile and tried to sound unaffected by what had just happened. “Digs really, it’s all good, we just cleared the air, that’s all.”
    His eyes searched my face for reassurance, and he must have convinced himself, because he nodded. “Want to go home soon?” I smiled grateful he wasn’t pushing me fur ther.
    “Yeah, it’s been a big day and it’s caught up with me.” We left the party at two thirty in the morning and headed back to Lennon’s p lace.
    I flopped onto his queen bed in the spare room barely registering that my head was on the pillow and crashed immedia tely.

Chapter 10 – Exposure

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