Everything I Learned About Life, I Learned in Dance Class by Abby Lee Miller Page A

homophobic. Of course I’m not. In reality, my male students wouldn’t be where they are today if they danced like girls. These men have to lift female performers and make them look pretty. This is how I normally speak to my students, but on TV, I can never say those things.
    My mom and dad were older than the norm when they had me. So they raised me to be independent because they didn’t know how long they’d be around. My dad, George L. Miller, died a horrible death from esophageal cancer on Father’s Day in 2000. My mom, Maryen Lorrain Miller, passed away while I was working on this book, February 8, 2014. I think parents today do way too much for their kids. They forget that one day they’re not going to be there and their kids are going to have to function on their own. Some parents do everything for their children—from doing their homework for them or, at the very least, writing a note to the teacher letting him know that they were up late the night before and didn’t get their homework finished. Or if the kid doesn’t want to go to Susie’s party, Mom calls and makes excuses for the kid instead of giving the kid the phone and saying, “You call Susie and tell her you’re not going to her party.” Now, my parents would have insisted I go to Susie’s party because we had already RSVP’d and bought her a gift. Parents tend to handle everything for their kids—they become their assistants. They let them get away with too much, instead of having their kids man up, face issues head-on, and deal with their own problems.
    If my daughter came home and said she wanted a solo, I would make her go ask the dance teacher herself. If a mother calls me asking me if her daughter can have a solo, I’ll tell her a hundred reasons why she can’t have a solo. I want the kid to come to me, not the parent. I believe in throwing the kid into the pool, maybe with water wings, but throw him in. If you’re afraid of letting a kid fly on a plane by himself when he’s fourteen, then buy a plane ticket and follow him. Be fifty feet behind that kid, but let him do it himself and see how he does from a distance.
    Have you raised your kids to survive on their own or are you doing everything in your power to keep this world a safe place for them where no one will ever call them a name, and no one is going to pull the chair out from under them, and no one is ever going to beep at them on the highway? I’ll ask a student a question in the studio and the parent will blurt out the answer! When that happens, I say, “If she’s merging onto the 405, and I’m behind her on the freeway entrance ramp and my horn is going full blast, is Daddy going to run out and stop traffic so she can merge onto the freeway?” No! Let your kids figure it out now! Train them now and force them to man up!
    BUMPS, BRUISES, AND BREAKS HAPPEN
    Dancers and athletes especially will fall, get whacked on the head, twist, sprain, and fracture things. I know moms want to kiss away every boo-boo, but that’s not what your kid needs. In life, your first literal or metaphorical tumble won’t be your last. And usually your ego hurts more than your injury.
    Bumps, bruises, and breaks happen! You’re enrolling in a physical activity where injury is likely to occur. It’s very important when choosing a studio and the right teacher to find out what the floors are made of. Are the ceilings high enough? Is the studio a safe environment? Are there poles your kid might run into? All these things and more go into injury prevention.
    Some kids are built stronger than others. Some kids have thicker skin than others. Is your child mentally and physically prepared for this activity? There will be bruises to her ego and hurt feelings. She will most likely have girlfriend issues. The old clichés “Two’s company, three’s a crowd” or “She’s a fifth wheel” can play a role. Girls can be really cruel. Sometimes the reason your daughter may not want to go to dance class